Losing hair, making friends

Au naturelle

This time around I knew what to expect. When you pull at your hair and a clump falls out there’s something strangely addictive about it. It’s alien, so what do you do? Reach for another handful, of course.

The loss of eyebrows and eyelashes, however, are a different proposition. I decided to get them tattooed on and through the blog a lovely lady called Julie who runs a semi-permanent make-up place in London got in touch offering to do them for me at a generous discount.  My lashes and brows were, and still are, very much there but I decided that if I sorted them out there and then I wouldn’t have some crazy double-brow when the hairs do eventually come back.

Miffy accompanied me to Julie’s, and as soon as she greeted us at the door with a friendly Geordie accent I warmed to her. Julie explained that she’d been specialising in alopecia for years and was the ideal person to advise me on wigs.  I’d wanted to go all out and get real hair this time, but with my own expected to return and real hair wigs so expensive, Julie recommended that I opt for synthetic and offered to come shopping with me the following week.

Now I’m not going to lie, getting the eyeliner tattoo hurts, but when you get needles stuck into you on a regular basis, have been pushed through claustrophobic scanning machines and had a breast chopped off you can manage a bit of pain.  The eyebrow bit was fine and the result was amazing; now when the lashes and brows go I won’t be some big old moon face and I’ll at least have some definition around my eyes.  Job done, and the ultimate bonus was that I’d made a new friend in Julie.

I’m struck by the people who have come into my life because of cancer.  So many interesting characters that I would never have met if it hadn’t been for this bastard disease.  It’s not just face-to-face acquaintances either; the power of the internet has introduced me to the lovely Francesca Pattison, Lisa Lynch and Kris Hallenga, strong, feisty and funny women of about my age who are going through a similar situation.

“If I can keep it for the fashion show I’ll be happy,” I said to Miffy as we left West London, but by the time Thursday rolled around the back of my head resembled that of a mangy dog, so after donning a headscarf for the event itself I decided to get it all shaved off.

The mangy dog look - so this season!

I booked in with local hairdresser Lisa and I was a bit worried about taking my hat off in front of a stranger but she cheerfully assessed the damage and got the shears out. The plan was to shave ‘F*ck You Cancer’ into the back of my head (for the blog, not to walk around like some crazy person) but I hadn’t had the time and by this point there wasn’t enough of my hair left so Lisa decided to get creative.

The end result was that of a glitter-strewn bauble or as my brother put it, ‘a Christmas neo-nazi.’  Somehow I doubt if I’d been at a Brixton barbers’ that they would have been able to magically produce a huge leopard-print make-up box replete with glitter and silver eye-liner.

Parental Advisory Warning!

Now freshly bald there were wigs to be bought.  Julie had even been to check out a place near to her to see how good they were and sent me some pictures.  We arranged to meet once I was back in London and the afternoon ended up being really good fun.  The wigs were so much more realistic than I had expected; the first time around I had bought a shoulder length blonde one that I wore on just one occasion because I hated it so much.  With Julie’s expert advice I emerged with one blonde and one dark, confident in my choices, and this time I intend on having fun with them.

Since the bout of tonsillitis I’ve been troubled by a hacking cough. I’d like you all to think I’m positive all the time but that’s just not true.  I panicked that it could be the cancer rather than a simple cold.  I was sure that with such an awful cough my white blood cell count would be in my boots, which would have ruled out chemo on Monday.  The knock on effect would be to delay chemo and then my Christmas plans to finally meet my new nephew would be screwed.

I felt drained from the lack of sleep from hacking all night and for the first time in a while I was having a real wobble.  “It’s just a cold,” Tom reassured me, but  when you know you have cancer in your lungs and you can see a red mark on your chest in the mirror every day it’s a bit harder to brush it off as just a winter bug.

On the Monday morning I saw Professor Hope, as I do before every chemo, and he was as cheery as ever.  I had my new wig on and was almost nervous about him seeing it, as I am with anyone who hasn’t. I was unsure whether to mention it, but he commented straight away, complimenting me on it and putting me at ease.  He listened to my chest and told me that apart from a bit of wheeziness it was totally clear – nothing to worry about, but he prescribed me an inhaler just to help.  Relief washed over me; after next Monday I won’t have chemo until January 9th.

“That’s the day after my birthday”, I told him.

“And you’ll be 29?  Anything big planned for your 30th?”

And there it was again, the big difference between my old consultant and good old Prof Hope; a belief in me and that we’ll work together to somehow get through this.

Miffy came to meet me after my consultation and we waited for me to get my bloods done.  I showed her my inhaler. Now, if you’ve read ‘Worse things happen in Milan’ you’ll know about Miffy’s unique turns of phrase.  “Eugh.  This is just like the film Stand By Me,” she observed.

“How the eff is this like Stand By Me? An eighties film about four boys trying find a corpse.”

“’Cos you’re like the weak one with that inhaler and I’m like the three other strong ones!” (I think she might have been getting confused with The Goonies).

Giggling as I entered the blood room I forgot about my fear of the low blood count.  We took ourselves off to TK Maxx for the two hour wait to see if all was well for chemo.

And guess what? My white blood cell count was higher than before I’d even started chemo.  So sod the sceptics!  All the mediation, lovely Emma at EFT, Michael the smiley, super bright herbalist, and the new diet; it’s got to be working.  I don’t want to sound cocky because I’m well aware there will be dips in this path I’m on but seeing those scribbled numbers under ‘WBC’ gave me a huge boost – a validation that what I know is mentally making me feel better is also physically having an effect.  I have complete faith in Professor Hope’s medical plan and now I believe one hundred percent in my alternative one too.

The day after chemo I was to go and get one of the wigs cut.  The lovely Jo from Heat Magazine who has been reading the blog from the very start arranged for me to see Trevor Sorbie at his Covent Garden Salon.  As I write this I’m reminded of all the fantastic, kind-hearted people that have come into my life since my secondary diagnosis.

Trevor Sorbie set up My New Hair to help women like me who lose their hair either because of cancer treatment or for some other medical reason and the whole experience was fantastic.  Trevor said he thought the blonde wig didn’t need anything done to it, but felt he could improve the brunette one.  He really is such a lovely man, immediately putting me at ease, and of course he is a very talented hairdresser.

Trevor and I after the cut

I can’t recommend the charity enough.  I do hope people remember to give to causes like this, because feeling like you don’t even look like yourself when you’re going through the most stressful time of your life is pretty depressing.  People like Trevor are giving women like me the psychological boost that they need. Yes, I’ve got cancer and my priorities have changed but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to look the best I can.  I still want my hair to look good, it still cheers me up to buy a dress for a night out and I’ll still cringe at photos on facebook if I think I look like shit. And My New Hair gets that.

God this has gone on a bit hasn’t it?  Well done if you’re not snoring face down on your keyboard, but to round things off I have to mention the tweet from Stephen Fry.  When I woke up feeling groggy, tonsillitis making me sound like one of Marge Simpson’s sisters, hearing that the legendary Stephen Fry had tweeted about the blog made my year! So thank you very much Mr Fry and welcome to anyone who has stopped by the blog because of his tweet.


...or brunette? Answers on a postcard


104 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Karen
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 14:15:50

    Aw you look so pretty in both the blonde and the brunette wigs! Have fun creating different looks with both 🙂 Love the photo of you and Trevor Sorbie too. Hope the tonsillitis eases in time for a great Christmas! x


  2. Chloe Greene
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 14:16:16

    Actually I’m reading this in the bath, complete with bubbles, on my smart phone Ellie because I always want to read your posts straightaway.
    And this has made me feel so good. Just great news that your WBC up. Want to shout out hooray, triple hooray. Good sound effect in bathroom.
    And when I’m dried and dressed will check out the photos on m PC.


  3. Paul Spitere
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 14:29:14

    Hi Ellie,

    All good news then?! You sound in a great place at the moment which was great to read. I have a couple of confessions to make… one I am a primary teacher from Ireland, living in the UK so I am on holidays now (sorry all!) and I am going back home on Monday so I am glad I get to read your blog before my diet becomes full of some famous black stuff!
    Secondly when I receive the email informing me that you have updated the blog I drop everything and read. I don’t do much tv at the moment so you are my fix… Beats Corrie any day!!!
    Great read yet again, and like I have said on here before see you as a great “hero” fighting valiantly against “that bastard of a disease!” I love that you are open to all forms of treatment and attacking it head on. Its in these positive moments where strength is gathered for the battles ahead. I am more than convinced you are going to beat it… although how will you cope when thousands of people will want an invite to you and Tom’s wedding? I will be devastated if I am not at the head table! 😉 (Sorry I do confess to being a stereotypical sarky Irish bastard!)

    I am so happy for you that people like Julie, Trevor Sorbie, and Stephen Fry are taking an interest in you fighting the good fight, particularly envious you had a plug from the King of Twitter, not sure what an spiritual, smart arse primary teacher can do for you. I can only think about including my thoughts and musings…
    On that note I would say brunette suits you better, but you look good with both, and I would think that what you think matters most!

    So wishing you a peaceful, healthy, worry free Christmas and looking forward to catching up with the blog after Christmas



  4. laura
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 14:38:50

    I love the wigs! I like the blonde best, but I do like the brunetee just as much!

    You remind me of Samantha from SATC when I read your blog, especially when talking about hair & cancer!

    Merry Christmas and a lovely New Year!

    Best wishes, Laura & Boys.



  5. Jo
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 14:46:20

    Your blog continues to inspire me – you are amazing. I wish you a very happy Christmas and good health for the new you – you can beat it x
    PS Brunette looks great


  6. Chloe G
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 14:52:06

    Hi Ellie! I was thinking about you today and wondering how you were getting on. I’m so pleased your white blood cell count is up, woo hoo! Your latest entry really made me smile (especially the f you cancer bit!) I’m also really pleased that you are happy with your new consultant Dr Hope…the name says it all really.
    I wish you and your family a very merry Christmas and a happy, healthy and prosperous 2012!! 🙂
    Keep smiling hun
    Ps. Both hair colours suit you but I especially love the blonde on you


    • Paul Spitere
      Dec 17, 2011 @ 19:01:53

      How did I not spot the name of the consultant?!! The name does say it all indeed Chloe.
      I too will raise a glass to you at Christmas to your good health Miss Jeffery!


  7. Linda Ann McCrea
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 15:19:42

    Dear Ellie
    I am truly esctatic that your WBC is higher and not diminishing .
    Must be due to a good balance of medical and complementary interventions and power of prayer. I`m sure, Tom is soo very proud of you and rightly so.
    You have been thru` some gruelling treatments plus a psychological roller coaster.
    Re Your hair colour – brunette is beautiful both in style and shade .I prefer brunette but your prettiness shines through in either shade .
    Have a very lovely family Christmas and loads of hugs to your precious new nephew.Love and Best Wishes Linda Belfast: N.Ireland


  8. candice Molineux
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 15:46:14

    Keep posting Ellie you are an inspiration to us all ! Brunette wig really suits you ! A very merry and happy christmas to you and your close ones.
    Candice, Norfolk


  9. Jane Powers
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 15:58:14


    I am new to your Blog thanks to Mr Fry.

    I shall simply say you look quite (as in absolute, not ‘just a bit’) beautiful au naturelle. Both wigs suit you very well – perhaps the blonde one for when you’re feeling more cheeky!

    Wishing you and yours love and laughter this Christmas. Your new diet etc. sound like they’re doing real good; but I do hope you supplement it with some festive treats too. Good for the soul.

    Best wishes and bring it on 2012.

    Jane x


  10. Mojo
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 16:09:24

    Hi Ellie
    I agree with Paul, the minute you land in my inbox, my day stops until I can catch up with where you are!
    Personally I think your rocking the brunette look (although I confess to loving the anti cancer glittery bauble just as much ;-))
    Much love to you and Tom for Christmas and the New Year, I shall raise a glass to you and yours. Enjoy a peaceful Christmas and rest up.. When Christmas is packed away, it’ll be time to focus on your wedding and that takes a whole lot of energy!
    Sending you hugs and love
    Mo xxxx


  11. jeannine nye
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 16:10:53

    With hair or without, you are quite a lovely looking young woman, and your comments and bravery going about your daily routines is quite amazing.. I am sure you are quite inspirational for those going through the same, or just like me others who enjoy reading to see your latest progress… well done you and your family and friends, and I am sure this christmas will be one of the very best you have had so far.. keep on trucking as they say,… all the best J


  12. Suzy Smith (@suzyesmith)
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 16:13:28

    Merry Christmas Ellie! :-))
    You look gorgeous in both pictures! – And I love the colour of your top!
    Being a blonde, I like the blonde best! :-))
    You are truly inspirational. –
    Love and best wishes,
    Suzy. x


  13. Karenlisam
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 16:28:56

    The blonde wig is very foxy – love it

    I’m a great believer in positive thinking influencing health too so it’s wonderful to see you kicking the blood counts ass


  14. Amy
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 17:03:32

    you are beautiful blond, brunette or bald!


  15. Kevin McEwen
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 17:24:39

    I am living the blonde wig, Ellie, rock that look…!



  16. Laura smith
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 17:27:31

    Ellie, blonde, brunette or au natural you look gorgeous in all piccys. The big bastard C never takes that away. Things are sounding good and just in time for Santa. Have a fabulous crimbo 🙂


  17. Lou
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 17:44:56

    Hi Ellie, although a devote convert to the church of brunette, I think you look pretty foxy in each! Hope your doing ok, your blog is still awesome! Lots of love and christmas wishes, lou xxxxx ( pips Sis)


    • Ellie Jeffery
      Dec 17, 2011 @ 19:53:41

      Thanks Lou – it’s been 50/50 on the hair hair front but I’m taking that as a good sign that I didn’t waste money on buying two! Have a fab Christmas xxx


  18. Eileen
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 18:03:37

    Brunette! But the blonde looks great too! You are looking good – keep srong!! I am in Spain, and am a pensioner granny, and I am following your story with my prayers and my soul x


  19. Elisa
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 18:14:48

    Hi! I am one of the many who is reading your blog because of Mr Fry’s tweet.
    You are a beautiful and amazing girl, you are a winner.
    Love from italy,
    Elisa xxx


  20. Cate
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 19:00:45

    Hi Ellie, just want to add my own whoohooo to the WBC doodah news. You look great! Keep pootling. Sending love, hugs and a big dose of wellbeing for you and yours over Christmas and New Year. Cate x


  21. Heygimmeabreak
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 19:31:10

    I’m one of the Stephen Fry’s followers. Spent the hours following the tweet reading all the missed posts, thanked SF for the great suggestion, can’t wait to read each your new entry since then.
    It’s difficult to find the words… Your accounts are great and I really hope that you are receiving back from us readers as much as we are receiving from you in terms of inspiration, strength, and fun.
    Have a wonderful Christmas Ellie, with much love.


    • Ellie Jeffery
      Dec 17, 2011 @ 19:48:51

      I love posting a new entry Anna and reading all the comments – I try to reply to all of them but sometimes it’s impossible. The love, good wishes and encouragement I get from strangers gives me such a boost.
      Happy Christmas to you too, Ellie.


  22. DEBORAH MORGAN-SMITH...........Surrey
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 19:33:39

    Definitely blonde Ellie, but I actually think you look absolutely stunning without either wig. You have a beautiful, elfin face that so looks good a la bald. Very few people can pull it off, but believe me gal,you sure can!!
    I wish you a wonderful Christmas Ellie and exactly the 2012 that you want, need and deserve!
    Lots of Love to you and your family and friends xx


  23. Heygimmeabreak
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 19:35:21

    oops! forgot! maybe brunette..? difficult to chose when one is so pretty anyway.. 🙂


  24. Anna
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 20:00:31

    Wishing you and Tom a wonderful Christmas. Blonde or brunetter you look stunning in both. Your attitude and light shines out. Having dealt with cancer in my family you are a role model in grace and positivity.


    P.s you defo rock the brunette look x


  25. Jan
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 20:11:45

    Yay Ellie!!!
    Fab Fab news about your blood count… Like everyone else , when your blog pops up in my e-mails I cant wait to see how you are!!! whew! it was a l-o-n-g one as you said ,…… BUT I loved every sentence , full of good uplifting news , and it was just lovely to see pictures of you , hair, no hair, , all gorgeous, with your beautiful smiling face. Colour? Well I prefer the brown wig for the sensible you , more natural,… but who said you cant ring the changes, the blonde one is more sexy and cheeky,
    All thats left to say for now love, is that I wish you and all of your family a wonderful Christmas,
    love Jan xxx


  26. C.
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 20:31:09

    Beautiful wigs, Ellie. The kindness of strangers is such a wonderful thing x


  27. Penny WALKER
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 20:51:29

    Yes, another reader of your blog here thanks to Mr Fry! Brunette gets my vote – there’s a warm, natural classiness about it, possibly thanks to Mr Sorbie’s fantastic cut?

    By the way, I hope you don’t mind, but I sent your ‘Dear Cancer’ letter on to a friend who had osteo sarcoma in his shoulder (he had a fore-quarter amputation of his left arm 3 years ago) and then developed a secondary tumour in his right lung which he had removed last week. He is recovering well and your letter really made him chortle in a ‘yeah, fuck you cancer!’ kinda way …. so thank you for that! All best wishes for your continuing great treatment – go kick ass girl! x


  28. Mrs Smiles
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 21:29:15

    Ellie can we please be best friends?! I think you look amazing as a baldie – I always envy women who can carry it off ala Demi Moore or Natalie Portman. I would just look like a weird long head. Your wigs are great too – you look like you’re shining from the inside with health (must be the rye bread). Looking forward to your next update.


  29. rachel
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 22:19:04

    ellie you are an inspiration to all, i have been reading your blog for a while after i read an article in a magazine. it just makes me think and particularly at christmas when we are rushing around, worrying whether we have bought the “right” presents and if we have enough pigs in blankets, just reading your blog brings it all into perspective. i am so pleased that you have had some positive news about your blood count and am wishing you and your family a very happy christmas x
    ps. you look fab in wigs!


  30. Melanie Richardson
    Dec 17, 2011 @ 22:23:39

    Brunette for me, though you look fabulous in both. Happy Christmas! xx


  31. Karen
    Dec 18, 2011 @ 00:02:45

    I look to see how you are every day Ellie. Both wigs look amazing, blonde for a bit of a cheeky look, but the brunette will have its day too. So happy about the blood count, it all matters, the diet, your great attitude, the love surrounding you, and the love and positiveness you give out.
    Have a trully wonderful Christmas, love to you and Tom and wishing you great moments with your new little nephew.


  32. lorly
    Dec 18, 2011 @ 00:03:27

    Hi Ellie
    I get to the bit of your blog where you say when “you don’t even look like yourself when you’re going through the most stressful time of your life is pretty depressing” and then the legend that is Trevor Sorbie does your wig, and you just encapsulate what you feel in a way only a journo could!
    I always check to see whether you have posted because I want to see how you are getting on and you just reach people and engage them, a rare skill as I have surely said before.
    And I am one of those people touched by your strength, I have been out all day in Leeds and get home and think to myself “I must check the blog and see how Ellie is getting on”, cause we all feel like we know you and want you to know we are rooting for you.
    And I get down the bottom of your blog thinking that your writing is dead good and how I am really enjoying your writing and then your self deprecation kicks in and you say about heads hitting keyboards through boredom, ironically at the point where I think your writing is ace and way better than loads of journos who think they are better than they actually are (why haven’t Grazia offered you a weekly contract?? Jane Bruton advise????) and I think to myself that this girl (you actually) is so talented, and dares to think her blogs are too long, they aren’t long enough!!!
    Now I’m waffling, but I feel compelled to tell you yet again that someone with an aversion to blogs and all that stuff sees your blog as different, cause you are different, and you just make people want to communicate and wish you the best, and I hope it empowers you, because your words and your strength leaves its mark on every single person blessed enough to be aware of this blog,
    Now truly I am waffling, but every single time I read this, I want to help in some way, so if I can, in a journalist sort of way, you just let me know :-), but I fear you and your writing doesn’t need any sort of help, and that is not a compliment but the truth 🙂 xxxxxx
    If you got to to the end of this, I am loving both looks, but blonde is great, cause its fun, and foxy and sassy and why not!!!!!!!!!and those wigs are a great investment, you can never spend too much on hair,!!! ever ever:-)
    and I haven’t mentioned the big C cause it is part of you, but not all of you, and not important enough to make the the top sentence, cause you are smashing it into the ground 🙂
    have an amazing Christmas, spend too much money, eat too much, mostly healthy stuff and enjoy it xxxxx


  33. Helen Foulds
    Dec 18, 2011 @ 00:21:47

    You look fantastic!!!! So pleased all is going in the right direction – have a wonderful Christmas and New Year. You deserve it xxxx


  34. Gary
    Dec 18, 2011 @ 01:47:40

    Have a great christmas eillie, love reading your blog, You are a fantastic woman and I hope you don’t mind me saying a gorgeous brunette. best wishes Gary.


  35. Lesley
    Dec 18, 2011 @ 08:58:29

    Hi Ellie,
    You look absolutely fabulous in both… my vote is for brunette..

    I hope your ‘old consultant’ reads this blog. I don’t mean this vindictively, but I hope she may feel so bad about how she handled your diagnosis / treatment plan that she is inspired to try to help others. She could be an advocate to the medical profession to help change the guidlelines and training on how to treat patients with cancer.



  36. Rachael g
    Dec 18, 2011 @ 11:22:34

    Ellie I think you look beautiful blonde, brunette and bald. You have such a pretty face that you still beautiful without hair. But to choose between the blonde or brunette I’d go with the latter. I think it makes your face glow more. Good on you for keeping do positive and your diet without your Rocky road etc is paying off you look radiant. I had to give up all yeast products, sugar and wheat last year for a 6 week free diet to get rid of a candida infection and to try boost my immune system as I was always getting sick and had developed a wheat allergy, I felt so fed up not having my favourite foods and even giving up wheat permanently was so difficult that I still feel hard done by some days. But giving up all the processed crap and artifcial junk does great things for your health. When I was taking supplements, wheatgrass, and restricting my diet it was a whole year before I went to doc, compared to monthly visits before. So a healthier way of life definitely is the way forward. Now in saying that i have discovered gluten free brownies and become kind of addicted so I feel like I’ve been very bad to my body lately. But new year new health kick, and you inspire me. For a really healthy book worth getting I’d recommend the clean lean book by James duigan he’s the guy that got Elle mac phearson her body. It’s great I found it a little hard to follow the diet just because I’m a veggie but if ur eating meat then it’s ideal and it gives you three choices when choosing food so even if you font choose the best choice the one that’s middle of the road is better than the worst. One last thing, keep an eye on beauty products you use, avoid ones with parabens in them there is research about parabens being carcinogenic. Sort for such a long comment you might be asleep now :-/ have a great Xmas xxx


  37. DEBORAH MORGAN-SMITH...........Surrey
    Dec 18, 2011 @ 11:58:10

    Hi Ellie

    Am just reading the Mail on Sunday and am on the page containing the article about the chef who has devised recipes especially for chemotherapy patients.He was inspired by his mothers need during treatment.
    Hope you find them useful xx


  38. Lorraine hughes
    Dec 18, 2011 @ 12:11:45

    Hey gorgeous, good news there then. Good for you! I’m going for brunette, but i do think that gentleman (Tom and Alan included) prefer blondes! To be honest though, you really look stunning without. Not many people could carry that look off, but with your features and bone structure you’re giving Ms. Winona Ryder a run for her money!

    I loved seeing you again Ellie. It felt as if no time had past at all; just a wee decade! You looked as stylish and chic as you always did. You’re gonna be a fantastic Aunty to him. I hope you get plenty of lovely snuggles and kisses from him over Christmas. It’ll be a special one I’m sure.

    Take care of yourself, and I hope Santa is good to you.

    Lorraine x


  39. Claire Leng
    Dec 18, 2011 @ 13:53:15

    Hi Ellie so pleased that you are continuing to do so well and that everything seems to be heading in the right direction for your continued recovery. You continue to inspire me every time I read your blog and I am living proof that your blog is really helping people that are fighting this fucking disease (sorry for the language!). Your advice really helped me, ive ordered the CD that you mentioned, I’m tapping mad doing my EFT and Ive just had my first session of acupuncture and I have to say Im feeling pretty good all things considered, I feel like Im starting to get my inner self in a much better place, so thank you millions and trillions! By the way got some good news myself, the biggest tumour is shrinking! Prof even said he is amazed at how much so hes now gonna start zapping the small little blighters and blast them into oblivion hopefully, so I wish you and yours a happy and fun filled christmas and my vote goes for the blonde wig, gives you a real healthy glow!
    Love Claire xx


    • Ellie Jeffery
      Dec 20, 2011 @ 18:42:36

      Hi Claire,
      Ignore me if I’ve already replied to this (chemo brain) but I just wanted to say how happy this message made me when I received it. I’m so pleased what has been helping me has been helping you too and am obviously thrilled the bastard of a big tumour is buggering off and hopefully the small ones will get the hint too. Keep on fighting and EFTing and meditating, have a lovely Christmas, much love, Ellie x


  40. Fran
    Dec 18, 2011 @ 18:30:56

    Merry Xmas El!

    You look truly beautiful both au naturel and as a brunette/blonde. I remember Sarah telling you, you would always go far in life. And you will. You will also see all your momentous birthdays and special occasions – I know it.

    Hope you feel brighter this week and have a great Christmas.

    Lots of love



    Dec 18, 2011 @ 20:02:24

    You look truly beautiful, I have been reading your blog for some time now, beauty comes from within and you are one hell of a wonderful girl from the inside out.

    I wrote to you before, in years to come (its happening now) scientists are realising the power of meditation. Believe Believe Believe that your body is healing itself. Keep thanking your body for healing itself, believe that it is happening, live like it is happening to you everyday, laugh and be happy that the cancer is leaving your body, visualise what you will do in 2012 now the cancer has gone, visualise your 30th Birthday, plan it in your mind down to the last detail, knowing that the cancer has left you……..you have been meditating already and look at your blood count, your body is already trying to clear the cancer, now just one little step further, dont even think about anything else no what ifs no doubts, just keep on visualising your body clearing the cancer, lots of people have done this and the cancer has gone, as I say, I use visualisation and meditation all the time. A year ago my house was being taken from me, the receivers were already appointed there was no going back, I just sat and visualised a new kitchen, new carpets people laughed at me your going to be homeless in days, I went out and bought new curtains – Im still in my house a year later, money came from no where to pay off the bank. Nothing compared to your story quite trivial in what you are going through, but just to say even when your at rock bottom if you can believe it yourself you can achieve it – they say what your mind can believe your body can achieve….., but the power of meditiation and visualisation can change any situation no matter how bleak, I know and I want you to know, that you are without any doubt or question going to beat this hands down. GO GIRL…….ROOTING FOR YOU – I AM VISALISING YOUR BLOG KEEPING ME ENTERTAINED FOR YEARS AND YEARS TO COME, YOUR WEDDING, AND YOUR 30TH.


  42. Tina
    Dec 18, 2011 @ 22:12:27

    Hi Ellie
    I am so pleased you are doing well. You lift my spirits everytime I read your blog, words cannot describe how strong and amazing you are. I wish you and Tom a wonderful xmas and New Year. Take care and I hope you continue to feel better. I prefer the blond wig but you look stunning in both. Love Tina xxxx


  43. Rachel
    Dec 18, 2011 @ 22:17:17

    Ellie, So pleased that you had such a boost with your white cell count result-that’s great news! You can now meet your new nephew and decide how you want to spend you christmas! I assure you no-one will ever fall asleep to your blogg, I was pleased it was that bit longer as I always want to read more when I finish one of your posts! So glad that you are feeling the love of all these people who have come into your life-you deserve every bit of this happiness and i’m sure they are just overwhelmed by your fantastically positive attitude. Incase I don’t comment again before may I wish you and Tom a Merry Christmas that is happy and full of all your favourite things and people. Lots of love to you both.xx


  44. Rachel
    Dec 18, 2011 @ 22:19:16

    Oh yes….and as for the wigs you pull off either soooooo well because your gorgeous but i’m a brunette (and maybe that is why) but I have a slight preference for that one!xx


  45. mimi
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 03:26:12

    Well, I must say Ellie, you’re one of the best looking bald people I have ever seen!!!
    If you believe the peeps of Hollywood, tis the mark of true beauty ( as they said about Natalie Portman when she shaved her head for the V for Vendetta film…) so there you go!
    And you look super cute in both of those wigs, very natural looking! The blonde is really soft, and the brunette is spunky, I like!
    And Yay for white blood cells!!!! so so awesome 🙂

    as always love and good vibes from down under

    P.S: By the way, if you don’t have anyone lined up, I am a professional illustrator and I would be honored to design wedding invites for you if you want 🙂 I’ve been wanting to offer for a while, but I got self-conscious somehow…isn’t that stupid? Anyway!



  46. Chloe
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 04:12:48

    Great photos! I would go for the brunette but the blonde is equally stylish. I thoroughly enjoy reading your blog and find it is demystifying a lot of things I thought about cancer. Happy Christmas to you and all the best for 2012 – from Adelaide, South Australia.


  47. Mie Pedersen
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 10:33:41

    Dear Ellie. You inspire us all to live a rich and meaningfull life every day; to see and do what really matters to us. Thank you.

    Mie – Thomas cousin from Denmark

    I send you and Thomas my warmest thoughts and the best of luck!


  48. Adrienne Ross
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 10:37:34

    You are amazing, and you look gorgeous in both wigs. Have a great Christmas and a very happy New Year.


  49. Jools turner
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 10:40:31

    I would like to wish you and your loved ones a very merry Christmas, and a very positive and rewarding new year. You deserve nothing but the best! Love reading your blog. Have a great one! Xxxxxxx


  50. Grahaeme Petersen
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 11:01:43

    It was Stephen Fry’s Twitter comment that alerted me to your Blog. I then read it from the beginning. My heart goes out to you, but so does my admiration for the brave and positive attitude that you present.
    Unless you request me not to, I will pray for you, along with the many that I’m sure already are.
    I look forward to reading your Blog for many more birthdays yet.
    Love and God bless,


  51. Laura S
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 12:20:32

    I love it when there’s a new post to read.
    You look stunning with both the brunette and the blonde and absolutely beautiful without either.
    Have a great Christmas and New Year.


  52. Kim Bumgarner
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 13:39:01

    I’m from across the pond in America, Maryland to be exact, and I have been reading your blogs since the start. I just wanted to say, your an amazing inspiration to ALL, young and old, who are going through this horrible disease. The power of positive thinking is a powerful thing, and with EVERYONE who reads your blog rooting for you, you are truly well on your way to BEATING this disease. Fight on Ellie!!!

    Love how you look in both wigs!!


  53. Laura @ cakeandfeminism
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 14:49:37

    Congratulations on your WBC count, fantastic news. Both of the wigs look fabulous!

    I found your blog via twitter and read the whole thing one Sunday morning. I just wanted to say that you write beautifully. Your optimism and strength are inspiring, and you reminded me to be thankful for everything I have. Onwards and upwards – I’ll be sending positive vibes your way for a cancer’s-arse-kicking 2012. You can do it! 🙂


  54. Sarah
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 18:40:15

    I discovered your blog recently and found it such an inspirational read – I just wanted to post to say you look stunning on both your new do’s! Have a lovely Christmas.


  55. Rae
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 19:26:29

    With your skin tone you can easily get away with blonde or brunette – both are gorgeous. If I had to choose I’d pick brunette, but I’m a bit biased. Have a very happy Christmas!


  56. fiona simpson
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 22:45:11

    Dear Eille, you are a true inspiration. Ever since the D/mail did the article on your rollercoaster journey, you have touched so many hearts. Tom is a very lucky man. Glad your wbc is raised. You can look to Christmas positively with a huge smile, as you always seem to do.

    Have a peaceful Christmas with Tom and your loved ones.

    God bless


    P.s really like the brunette but you could have plenty if fun with the blonde


  57. Tracey
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 22:52:48

    Brunette!! I have followed your blog since the Daily Mail publication. You are a true fighter, never forget that. You make me want to cry! I am not in your position but hope that should I ever be that I show your courage and determination, if not always privately, but to others in the hope to inspire them. Enjoy your Christmas missus! Much love Tx


  58. Marianna
    Dec 19, 2011 @ 23:11:09

    Ellie, blonde, brunette. whatever….you look absolutely lovely. AND you are hilarious……..x


  59. Amanda Power
    Dec 20, 2011 @ 06:54:25

    Ellie you are just gorgeous – blond or brunette – you will get it all! I dont know you yet I feel so very proud of you. You are an absolute mentor to all of us still fighting the dreadful C.
    Loving you blog, keep at it girl!
    LOL from sunny South Africa. xx


  60. julia knowles
    Dec 20, 2011 @ 21:04:20

    so glad to hear wcc is on the up! lets hope it behaves & stays there.
    you are truly one amazing lady who just happens to look gorgeous bald, blonde or brunette.
    sending you loads of love & positive thoughts.
    hoping you have a lovely Christmas with Tom & your friends & families and that 2012 will be filled with love, laughter & good health for you Ellie.
    julia xx


  61. Helen
    Dec 20, 2011 @ 22:26:11

    Yay! WBC looking good, you’re looking gorgeous, blog…just love it as usual! I’ve never followed anyone’s blog before but like lots of other people on here I’m inspired and motivated to keep reading all your news. Keep it going Ellie, you’re doing just great! Have a fab Xmas and New Year, loads of love and hugs


  62. dede
    Dec 21, 2011 @ 00:16:16

    Ellie, you give me some laugh’s when i read your blog’s and it’s so heart warming to see you stand up and kick with all your might, against this Damn Cancer, i have been like many here touched by this horrid Cancer and, i am rooting for you, now if this post goes up it will be a miracle as when i hit enter it never show’s and ask’s for my email AGAIN so here’s hoping,
    You look Fantastic with or without the wigs as you have such a lovely smile, and your light shines through, keep beaming that bright smile and my warmest of wishes i send to you, Merry Christmas to you and all you hold dear Ellie, God bless.
    Love dedexx


  63. dede
    Dec 21, 2011 @ 00:17:08

    Yea it work’s lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


  64. Christina
    Dec 21, 2011 @ 19:41:54

    I remember how auful I looked without my eyebrows!!!! Thanks. Next time, I’ll know what to do now. You look great both with and without the wigs!!!!


  65. Margaret
    Dec 21, 2011 @ 19:56:55

    Hi Ellie, I’ve just read your latest blog, I really look forward to them to see how you are.i think you look great in both wigs, but the blond one wins. Lots of love to you and Tom for Christmas and the new year.love& hugs, Margaret .xxxx


  66. ellie
    Dec 22, 2011 @ 14:55:54

    you go girl, blonde is great and so is brown. I like the blonde best. Get two wigs. Have fun girl. You are a winner you are a miracle. Have a great Holiday season and remember it is a time for miracles and you are a miracle.

    Love to you



  67. Lesley Beeton
    Dec 22, 2011 @ 19:45:53

    Happy Christmas, Ellie, and every best wish to you and your family for 2012.
    Lesley x.


  68. lynsey huntley
    Dec 22, 2011 @ 22:58:31

    Hi ellie,
    Just been introduced to your blog from an old school friend of yours. I remember you from the days when we used to be in orchestra together,a long time ago now! I just spent a lovely hour catching up on your story,your strength and humour really touched me,I look foward to reading the next installment! Keep fighting and staying positive and I hope you and tom have a lovely Christmas,sending you both lots of love and good wishes xxx


  69. Laura Player
    Dec 23, 2011 @ 12:38:12

    Hiya Ellie! I have to say I love all the styles but au naturel is actually a really good look! You can really tell someone’s beautiful if they can pull off no hair – just look at Natalie Portman when she shaved her head. Did you see that Glee episode when their competitors were just swinging their hair about but not doing much dancing – i think they called it hair deceit? anyhoo, LOVE your look, brunette, blonde or naturel. Hope you have a great Christmas and enjoy feeling smug when everyone has eaten too much refined sugar and alcohol and you’re feeling a million dollars! Lots of love xxxxx


  70. Andie
    Dec 23, 2011 @ 14:35:46

    So good to hear things are on the up Ellie! Wishing you all a very happy Christmas and every success for 2012.

    Andie x

    ps. The brunette wig rocks!


  71. Katy C
    Dec 24, 2011 @ 10:35:54

    Hi Ellie, it’s so good to hear that things are going well for you. It’s really nice to know how many lovely people there are taking care of you, writing to you and making sure you stay gorgeous! Have a lovely Christmas and I look forward to reading your next post, as always. Katy x

    PS. Blonde looks fabulous!


  72. Gary
    Dec 25, 2011 @ 09:39:59

    Merry christmas Ellie have a great day. Gary X


  73. ladyleftfieldlover
    Dec 25, 2011 @ 18:57:47

    Dear Ellie, I hope you’ve had a magnificent day and a wonderful time meeting your new nephew, xxx PS – Brunette is best!


  74. Tina
    Dec 25, 2011 @ 20:48:25

    Hope you have have had a nice christmas . Tina x


  75. Catherine O'Neill
    Dec 25, 2011 @ 22:17:24

    Lovely to hear how well things are going Ellie, we are continuing to hear about your progress from Alex and I love reading your blog – your writing is just beautiful. Just wanting to wish you a very Merry Christmas today and all the best for 2012…I’ve a feeling it is going to be a wonderful year for you and Tom and I just wish you good health and much much happiness. Lots of love Catherine xxx PS You look as stunning as ever whichever wig or without don’t you worry about that x


  76. Chris
    Dec 26, 2011 @ 23:44:04

    Ellie, thank you for sharing your thoughts via your blog, it is both humbling and inspiring to read.


  77. Chris
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 00:15:16

    Ellie, hair or no hair, you are beautiful inside and out. Your courage and determination are inspirational.


  78. Amábile
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 02:53:57

    First, sorry for my bad English!
    I’m from Brazil and I read your story in a Brazilian site, how beautiful! How much patience! From today I am assiduous follower! And by the way, you prefer blonde!
    And that comes 2012! This is YOUR YEAR! kisses


  79. Natalie McDonald
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 16:38:52

    Wishing you & Tom a happy & healthy new year.


  80. Nick Miller
    Dec 29, 2011 @ 23:34:43

    Massive respect Ellie. Your determination and positive thinking is totally inspiring. You’re amazing and you will beat this.


  81. Fiona M
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 01:02:28

    ….snoring face down on the keyboard? Not a chance! I’ve been banding the HNYs around this last couple of days, but boy do I mean it when I say it here. Happy New Year Miss Ellie.


  82. Omi and Denise Russell
    Dec 30, 2011 @ 21:24:53

    Your dad is friends with my parents and I recently spent an evening at his house and he showed us your blog. It really moved me to hear him talk about you, and how proud he clearly was of you and how privileged I felt for him to share this with me. Both my mum and I have read your blog and we wanted you to know how inspirational we have found it and how wonderful it is to see how strong you are staying and still enjoying life. We both wanted to send you our best wishes and all of our love,
    Omi and Denise
    P.s. you make a beautiful brunette


  83. Alan Charnock
    Dec 31, 2011 @ 23:25:11

    So I thought i would stop by and wish you a happy new year, as this is 14 days after your last blog, I don’t now what you are up to but I hope its good, I hope you are relaxing and the new year treats you and your hubby Tom to be, really well. Ive never prayed before, but tonight I will for you, plus my Girlfriend says blonds have more fun so that’s mine and her votes sorted. Fingers crossed for 2012. x


  84. dede
    Dec 31, 2011 @ 23:32:27

    Hi Ellie i am wishing for you all good thing my love Happy New Year to you and all you hold dear.
    Love dedexx
    °☆  ¸. * ● ¸ .
     ° :. ★  ★★  . ☾ ° ¸. * ● ¸ .★ ° ☾ °☆  ¸. * ★○ ° ★. * :. *.¸ ★ . .★


  85. Gary
    Jan 01, 2012 @ 09:21:58

    Happy new year Ellie to you and all your family. Gary X


  86. Joanne Hooton
    Jan 01, 2012 @ 11:56:16

    Happy New Year Ellie, I hope you get the break you deserve in 2012!! You look so pretty even without the wigs and Julie did a top job on the eyebrows!!
    All the best from Joanne in oz xxxxx


  87. ladyleftfieldlover
    Jan 01, 2012 @ 14:46:27

    I hope you have a happy, peaceful and productive new year, Ellie.


  88. Zoe Mac
    Jan 01, 2012 @ 17:32:50

    Just wanted to wish you a happy and healthy new year, Ellie. You deserve it. From one of your many readers. x


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