The post I never wanted to write

Sadly it’s not Ellie writing this post but Tom. Many people will already have heard the news that Ellie passed away in the early hours of May 18th after a 9-day stay at James Cook hospital in Middlesbrough.

The last few weeks were tough; before Ellie started her final course of chemo we had high hopes that the GemCarbo would have a significant impact, but it was soon evident from little lumps and bumps popping up on Ellie’s chest that it wasn’t having the required effect. The first two doses had already taken their toll on Ellie’s body, reducing her platelet count and leaving her with little energy even to move from the bedroom to the living room.

Despite this, Ellie’s indefatigable spirit and relentless optimism meant that she refused to allow the debilitating physical effects to deny her a possible lifesaving dose of the drug, but the third cycle would prove too much.  Walking any kind of distance was becoming harder every day and even travelling to the train station was too great a challenge, so I drove her to North Yorkshire where she wanted to continue making wedding preparations with her mum.

It was soon clear to her family that Ellie needed proper medical care, but even after she went into hospital we all hoped it would be a question of an energy-boosting blood transfusion giving her the strength to carry on; we were still talking about moving house and rearranging a holiday to Crete we had postponed because of the hospital stay.

The nurses at James Cook were – and still are – a remarkable bunch. Ellie was a reluctant guest at several hospitals over the past year and while we’ve almost always found the nursing staff friendly and efficient, the team on Ward 14 really went that extra mile for her, myself and the rest of Ellie’s family. It probably didn’t do them any harm in Ellie’s eyes that they all admired her engagement ring too.

After a few days in the hospital we were given the devastating news that all they could offer was palliative care, that Ellie’s liver was too damaged to be able to save her and that it was simply a matter of managing the pain. She’d already had a lung drained of fluid to help her laboured breathing, and it was traumatic to see her suffer so every shot of morphine that eased her pain was just as much a relief for those of us by her side.

Everything happened so much more quickly than we had anticipated. When the doctors told us just a few days before Ellie died that she wouldn’t last until the wedding date I debated trying to arrange a wedding in the hospital. However, being on so much pain medication had caused Ellie to drift in and out of lucidity, making it hard to gauge her true feelings on the matter; occasionally she would acknowledge the lack of time remaining and the next she would be arranging plans for the wedding guests to go for a walk on the beach the day after the ceremony.

During one of her periods of clarity I asked her if she wanted to get married on the ward; she instinctively said no – she didn’t want to be wheeled up the aisle. I’m not sure if she realized that we wouldn’t get the chance to have the wedding she had so beautifully planned, but either way I knew that I didn’t want to put something last minute together that would bear no resemblance to the wonderful occasion she wanted. While we desperately wanted to marry each other, we didn’t need any old ceremony to validate our love. Our lives were utterly entwined, and whatever happens from now on I’ll always regard Ellie as my life partner.

Ellie’s close family and I have all received so many touching messages from friends and extended relatives. She was one of those remarkable people who have the ability to make others feel special just by talking to them. In social situations people would gravitate towards her and she had a truly unique ability to disarm anyone; she was a kind of personality Jedi – anyone who interacted with her was utterly charmed.

The clichéd numbness that accompanies bereavement is mixed in with regular waves of sorrow, but despite this I am determined to continue Ellie’s legacy. I know from everyone who has commented on the positive effects of reading her blog that Ellie has touched the lives of many people who weren’t lucky enough to know her in person as well as those of us who were.

On Ellie’s behalf I would like to thank everyone who has read the blog, and those who have left comments of encouragement. I hope that despite Ellie’s untimely death people can continue to derive benefit from reading it and I plan to look into the possibility of publishing it as a reading aid for those living with cancer, their loved ones and of course the medical professionals treating cancer patients.

We also have many people to thank for their kindness and help in the course of Ellie’s own treatment. We will be making a collection at Ellie’s funeral for Ward 14 of James Cook University Hospital and we would also like to invite anyone who feels they can afford it to make a donation to either of the following two organisations that helped Ellie: Maggie’s and Action Against Cancer.

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/ellieactionagainstcancer

https://mydonate.bt.com/fundraisers/elliemaggies

I’m not going to close the blog immediately as I’d also like to post a handful of photos of Ellie and possibly a video (should I work out how to!) but for now I’d like to finish this post by sharing with you all a draft of my wedding speech which I wrote in the hospital when we still hoped things would work out. I read it to Ellie on the last day of her amazing life and although she was drifting in and out of consciousness I’d desperately like to think that she heard and enjoyed it.

In the time we were together she was everything to me and although right now things seem incredibly bleak I know that my life is much richer for having known and loved her.

****************************************************************************

Wedding Speech

Ladies, gentlemen and of course my amazing wife Ellie Thostrup, I’d like to start by thanking you all for taking the time and effort to come to be here today. People have come from Denmark, Spain, France, Italy, Slovakia, Holland, Germany, Australia and even Scotland so we’re very grateful to everyone for travelling to a place you probably never imagined yourselves visiting. Please feel free to avail yourselves of the local Whitby Dog ale but if you find yourselves getting peckish in town later tonight and someone offers you a parmo it’s probably best to just say no.

Ellie and I would like to thank her beautiful bridesmaids: Sarah, Miffy and Jess and her little flower girl Izzy. We’ve got a little thank you for you (give gifts)

We’d also like to thank the best men Kamron and Mike (give gifts) and our ushers Terry, James and Ali. Nothing for you guys, I’m afraid – you have to draw the line somewhere.

I’d like to thank my mum and Ellie’s parents for their contributions to the wedding and personally I’d also like to thank Ellie’s mum Chris and dad Keith for raising such a remarkable human being. Ellie is everything I have ever wanted in a girl; she’s beautiful, funny, loving, inspiring and challenging. She supports and encourages me, she indulges my follies but also reins me in when necessary – sometimes more often than necessary as far as I’m concerned!

She’s a source of inspiration – the company Michael and I have started bears her name and without her we wouldn’t have got our first commission (catch it on E4 this October!). She advises me what to wear to look less like an unemployed teenager (admittedly, I frequently ignore that advice), and in exchange I correct her spelling and grammar. We’re a perfect match.

Everyone who meets Ellie is charmed by her. People love spending time with Ellie and I’m so grateful that she’s chosen me to be her husband, the one who gets the lion’s share of her time. I think you all know that it’s not been the easiest time of late, but whatever the circumstances and wherever we find ourselves you know I love you and I promise that I will always do everything in my power to make our married life as happy as you make me.

(Toast) To Ellie Thostrup

Finally, I’d also like to toast absent friends. There are many people I’d like to have had the opportunity to introduce Ellie to; my grandparents, my godfather  and most importantly my dad. I know he would have loved Ellie and they would have gotten on famously.

(Toast) To absent friends

Now I’ll hand over to Ellie’s brother John who I should warn you has lived in Australia for several years and has developed a very Australian sense of humour.

462 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Lisa Renneisen
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:11:33

    Rest In Peace Ellie. I live on the other side of the world, but your blog was an amazing inspiration. You may have had to leave this world early, but you have left a legacy. You will not be forgotten.

    Reply

  2. Liza Pritchard
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:11:52

    Tom and all Ellie’s family and friends – you are all in my thoughts tonight. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Ellie was a very brave and inspirational lady… Perhaps one day you will take some comfort in the fact she has managed to reach so many people. I’ve followed her blog for a whole now and I truly believed she would beat her disease. Once again, so sorry to hear about this. X

    Reply

    • Hilary Craft
      May 21, 2012 @ 23:34:31

      Heartbroken for you Tom,Ellie’s Family and her wonderful friends,
      My thoughts are with you all at this very sad time.
      Hilary Craft.
      Action Against Cancer

      Reply

  3. alanchar1978
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:12:31

    God bless you pal Ellie will be truly missed

    Reply

  4. Julie Evans
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:12:38

    This is a post you never wanted to write, and we never wanted to read. I am so sorry for your loss. I came across Ellie on twitter a few months ago, and started to follow her blog. Ellie was an inspiration and made you put all the little things into perspective. I will never feel your loss as greatly as you, but tonight I feel great sadness and will mourn a beautiful lady who I’m sure I would have really liked, had I ever had the fortune to meet her. May she rest in peace. God bless you Ellie xxx

    Reply

  5. Bethany
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:13:17

    So terribly sorry to hear this sad news. I had been reading this blog in awe. My thoughts are with you all.

    Reply

  6. Jessi
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:15:00

    I actually started following Ellie on Twitter several weeks after her last blog post – she had been uncharacteristically quiet, and I wanted reassurance. My heart lept when I saw her name pop up on my Twitter feed several minutes ago, and then sank just as quicky at the sight of ‘the post I never wanted to write’.

    I don’t know either of you, and I’ve never been in your situation, but I hope you can draw comfort from the fact that thousands of people hold you and Ellie in their hearts as an example to others.

    Praying for you, J,

    Reply

  7. dawn
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:15:06

    so sad R.I.P

    Reply

  8. Emily
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:16:51

    A beautiful speech, Tom. She was an incredible woman, and I cannot express how shocked I was hearing the news on Friday, especially after only discovering Ellie and her blog on Thursday. My thoughts are with you, and thank you for sharing this post xx

    Reply

  9. Kirsty Wood
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:17:23

    A true inspiration, who never really knew how much she help others. Never to be forgotten.xx

    Reply

  10. twinkletoesuk
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:17:42

    Tom, that must have been very hard to write.

    Thoughts are with you, your & Ellie’s family.

    Take strength from her inspiration to others and the wonderful times you had together.

    Sleep well Ellie xxx

    Reply

  11. Philippa whittingham
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:17:50

    I never knew Ellie but her blog and her twitter feed gave me a glimpse into her life. Her bravery and feistiness came across as did her total love for you Tom,her friends and family. My absolute sincere condolences to you Tom, Ellies family and all her friends. She will truly be missed. Sad that such a bright light has gone too soon.

    Reply

  12. Cathy
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:17:57

    So sad! She was such a brave an inspirational woman x x x x RIP Ellie

    Reply

  13. Prue
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:19:26

    Dearest Tom, Chris & Keith – I do not know you & don’t wish to be presumptuous in having any clue as to how much you must all hurt right now. I left a message as soon as I heard of your sad loss & thank you Tom for sharing your speech.
    Ellie’s words touched me tremendously, her honesty, strength, & ability to write about something so painful to help not only herself, but selflessly to help others.
    I send you all much support & love.
    Prue – a friend of a friends of Ellie’s ….RIP xx

    Reply

  14. Mirjam
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:19:53

    Dear Tom, I’ve read your post and I’m crying. Crying for your loss but also because I had hoped so dearly that you and Ellie could have the wedding day you were planning and that Ellie would get better. Ellie has touched the lives of so many people including mine, she was a brave and inspirational person. My condolences to you, Ellie’s parents and family and your parents and family and I wish you strength. Ellie will be sorely missed. Xxx

    Reply

  15. Anna
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:19:59

    In absence of really knowing what to say, I am one of many I know thinking of you Tom, of Ellie, and of your friends and family. Ellie touched the hearts of so many people, she really was a true inspiration. I am just sad that I have only now written a message on here.
    Love Anna

    Reply

  16. belle
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:20:31

    what a brave an wonderful woman rip xx

    Reply

  17. niki moore
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:22:11

    I am so saddened to hear this news. There are no words I can think of apart from I really liked reading the blog….and I am terribly sorry Ellie could not beat this rotten disease..she will live on in many peoples minds through her amazing positivity and humour.

    Reply

  18. stitch this
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:22:17

    There are no words to express such loss but yours show how much she was loved. All my prayers and thoughts are with you.

    Reply

  19. Emily
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:23:08

    Despite never having met either of you, I have been following Ellie’s blog since it appeared in the Daily Mail article. My heart sank when the title of this post hit my inbox.

    Ellie must have been a truly remarkable person because I felt like I knew her through the posts I have read. Her love of life and positivity were such that we could all learn from her.

    I’m so sorry for your loss. There are no words which will make this easier right now, but I hope that in the future you will take comfort from the amazing fact that Ellie inspired complete strangers to follow and care for her.

    Reply

  20. Ruth
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:23:13

    Tom,
    I am truly sorry for your loss. Ellie’s blog was such an inspiration, I do not know her or you, and cannot fathom the depth of your loss. But she meant a lot to many people in different ways. Her bravery, humour and compassion was in every word she wrote, the world is a shade darker for her not being in it. I pray that you find the strength to make it through your darkest times and may you find solace with her family and friends.

    My thoughts are with you and them, god bless.
    Ruth

    Reply

  21. Oeufmurf
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:23:28

    Tom, my thoughts are with you. Ellie was an amazing and unbelieveably courageous woman. I only found her in March but even to have someone my own age to identify with has been inexplicably supportive for me. Her blog and friendship over Twitter have kept me positive over the last couple of months. I was always hoping we could meet up some day. She will be my inspiration as I continue this journey. Love x

    Reply

  22. jo
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:23:40

    So very sad to read this. My thoughts are with you all. God bless xx

    Reply

  23. Kat
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:24:02

    Tom, so sorry for your loss. I have followed Ellies’s blog and twitter feed for a while now. She never failed to amaze me with her bravery. I just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you and Ellie’s family. x

    Reply

  24. Darragh
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:24:39

    RIP Ellie

    Reply

  25. rainmaker
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:25:04

    Hi Tom,
    I have never commented on Ellie’s blog, but have been an avid follower of this ever since I heard about it in some newspaper article. I cannot believe she is no more and I don’t know what to say. I’ve shed many tears reading her posts and I am sure millions of people were touched by her life story, just like I was.
    My condolences,
    Vidhu

    Reply

  26. Vidhu
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:26:42

    Hi Tom,
    I have never commented on Ellie’s blog, but have been an avid follower of this ever since I heard about it in some newspaper article. I cannot believe she is no more and I don’t know what to say. I’ve shed many tears reading her posts and I am sure millions of people were touched by her life story, just like I was.
    My condolences,
    Vidhu

    Reply

  27. Melanie Richardson
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:26:46

    There are no words. Just utter sadness at your loss. Much love xx

    Reply

  28. Rachel
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:27:09

    This is difficult for me but then i did not even know Ellie personally and yet i knew her from the blog(almost personally)! Oh my God! My prayers are with you Tom, and yours and Ellie’s family. May you continue finding comfort that you got to share such lovely moments with a beautiful and lovely person like Ellie. And even though the wedding did not happen, you were married and like you said, your lives were entwined.
    May the Lord bless and keep you and comfort you.

    Love

    Rachel

    Reply

  29. Mrs. Cindy Dinsmore
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:28:32

    TOM,

    What a truly loving person you had in Ellie, for her to want to share with others this journey that she had to make was remarkable.With honesty and humour and from her heart. No words can help you at this time. As a mother I feel for her family, but for you these first day’s will be a wirl, and then reality will set in, I know that your friends and family on both sides will rally round so take the time that you will need.

    I have followed these posts on this web site for quite a while and and prayed that all would be OK.

    I am so sorry for your loss, but as you say the love you shared meant the world to you both and to be honest that is what mattered at the end, LOVE.

    Ellie in the arms of the ANGELS God Bless.

    Cindy

    Reply

  30. Pam Hirst
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:29:48

    Tom, I am so very sorry to hear that Ellie lost her fight. What a brave and inspirational young woman she was and I’m sure she touched the hearts of so many, either in person or through her blog.
    My thoughts are with you and Ellie’s family and friends. xx

    Reply

  31. Heather
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:30:05

    Have just came home from a long drive. My Daughter has moved out and I now find after work I am rattling around this house. I have followed Ellies blog with such mixed emotions. I have laughed, cried found wonder in her spirit and true admiration in her fight. When I clicked on the email from you Tom my heart just broke. Such a loss for all who loved her, and for those who fell in love with her. This is just so sad. My thoughts are with you all. I have now just given myself a huge kick up the backside and am so grateful my family has health. Like most families Cancer has invaded our lives at some point, I myself with skin cancer, however was fortunate to have it caught at a very early stage. Tom thank goodness for memories, it’s the glue that holds us all together.

    Reply

  32. Jill Gale
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:31:33

    My thoughts are with you all I have been following Ellies blog for some time now following her ups and downs. So sorry she did not get the wedding day she was so looking forward to at Danby castle. Thinking of you all love to Chris who I used to work with in District nursing several years ago. Gone to soon xx

    Reply

  33. Chris
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:31:40

    Dear Tom and Ellie’s family – my thoughts and prayers and with you. Take care, Chris

    Reply

  34. Steve
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:33:45

    Devastated for you. Praying for the peace and love of God to be with you and Ellies family.

    Reply

  35. Sue
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:34:00

    I too didn’t know Ellie but so admired her for her courage and wit in the face of adversity. I am so sad to hear that she has lost her brave battle with this awful disease. My heart goes out to all her family and friends. Your life has been enriched by having her in your lives. Much love to you all Sue xx

    Reply

  36. Sue
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:35:32

    I was so saddened and shocked to learn of this news.. I followed Ellies’ blog and while I wouldn’t religously log on, the reminders and updates that Ellie wrote sent to my email every at random times… would suspend me in time in ordinary moments as I would be grippped reading them ..(the supermarket, work, making my dinner in the evenings)…and remind me of how absurd my problems were..and that a young girl very like me (also engaged and madly in love with her fiancé) only a few hundred miles a way (me in Ireland) was battling the biggest fight of her life, with a bravery some of us can’t even fathom…I am excitedly preparing for my own wedding and Ellie’s optomisim, strength and honesty just struck a chord with me…ever since the first day I read of her story in Grazia, I hoped she would realise her dream of reaching her wedding day…I admire her so much even in death as in life..I loved the fight and humour that came across in her writing…she is an inspiration, I am so saddened to learn of her loss, Tom and her family I am praying for you tonight and always …ar dheis dé go raibh a anam dilís…

    Reply

  37. Eileen
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:35:56

    I have followed Ellie´s story for a while now, and was so shocked at this news, because I have come to believe in Ellies´ “glass half full” attitude. She was an inspiration – so sorry for your loss.

    Reply

  38. Debby
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:36:38

    So very very sorry for your loss and that you two didnt get the wedding you so wanted. My prayers are with you and all the family. RIP Ellie. xxx

    Reply

  39. Helen Weekley
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:37:46

    What a beautiful blog Tom. I went to school with Ellie and although we’ve not spoken for a long time she hasn’t changed. She’s still the amazing young girl she always was when we went to school together. She was always laughing, full of energy….and often was so kind to give me answers in science I struggled with lol.
    She was so clever and beautiful and although so many if us have taken our lives elsewhere I know our class of 99 are suddenly reunited through beautiful memories of Ellie and her legacy will continue. She will be up there now as a kind and caring angel for which I have no doubt. You clearly made her complete and your love for each other is something that can never be damaged by any horrific cancer.
    Cancer has affected so many of my friends and family this year and I am so sorry about Ellie but one thing is for certain and that is though her body may not have had the strength to fight, her soul is one of the most stunning powers of strength and full of joy I have ever known and that is her battle won. Rest in peace my dear school friend Ellie and may your legacy help all those in the future. I bet you’ve made her proud Tom and if you ever get stuck on any science she’s your girl who will always have the answers :-) xx

    Reply

  40. Chris
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:37:55

    I heard the news this morning and I’ve been thinking about Ellie and about you all day. I had hoped so much that you two would have the wedding you had dreamed about but when twitter went silent I knew in my heart that something was very wrong. Ellie was an inspiration to all of us who followed her blog. She fought so hard. Please put her words in a book. The strength of her writing is too important to be lost. My condolences to you, and to her family and yours. Bless you, Tom.

    Reply

  41. RM
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:39:00

    Tom, your Ellie was an absolute inspiration. Her memory lives in the hearts and minds of the many people around the world (including me) she touched with her eloquent words about her brave battle. I wish you strength in the coming months, and hope her unfaltering love, forever in your heart, can warm you on your darkest days. x

    Reply

  42. paula
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:39:22

    hey tom,
    I am so sorry for your loss. i don’t know what to say…can’t put it in words. but i will say this: Elli will always be remembered and loved!

    Reply

  43. Val Finnegan
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:39:44

    Dear Tom, I’m so sorry to hear about Ellie’s death. I have hoped and hoped that she would make it to your wedding and you would both live happily ever after. She has been inspirational to me and many others who are facing an uncertain future. My love to you and your families, Val

    Reply

  44. sharon crawford
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:42:11

    I didn’t know Ellie and only read her blog a few days ago. She sounds the beautiful person everyone describes. My thoughts are with you, her family and friends at this sad time. From an admirer x

    Reply

  45. Jan
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:43:05

    RIP Ellie, you put up such a brave fight, inspirational to us all
    Sleep tight xxxx

    Reply

  46. Anje
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:43:21

    Oh my. Been following and hoping for the last +year. How utterly sad, how very unfair. Take care!

    Reply

  47. Annie Walkace
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:44:11

    Tom
    Devistating news…
    Thank you for taking time out of your grieving to post on the blog.
    Beautiful wedding Speach….
    I hope the pain is numbed by the know large that brave remarkable Ellie has no more suffering.

    Reply

  48. Lou
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:45:12

    R.I.P Ellie. So sad that you never had your wedding day. A truly inspirational lady. My heart goes out to Tom and all her family and friends. Im sure she’s watching over you all x

    Reply

  49. julie french
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:45:21

    To Tom and ellies family, I didnt know ellie for long ..but from the moment i met her i knew she was special….. she was a warm compassionate caring young woman who made a huge impact on me. .I loved Ellie ,she was a breath of fresh air ..after all she had been through I never heard her complain..she was an inspiration to everyone and I truely beleive she made lots of peope revaluate there life ..
    Im sad and devastated she did not get to her wedding with the man she so loved and adored ..r.i.p ellie I will never forget you………….xx

    Reply

  50. Paula
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:46:28

    So sorry Tom, and all of Ellies’ family & friends, on your loss. Ellie will always be with you, she is safe in your hearts x

    Reply

  51. vanessa
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:46:48

    Such sad news. A very beautiful and special girl. My thoughts with you and your family.

    Reply

  52. Ismena Clout
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:46:50

    Tom

    I’m extending a huge hug to you and the rest of Ellie’s family. I found this blog last summer and struggled to read it as I’m in a similar boat and the situations were too familiar but her wit and observations got me hooked and gave me strength and hope. I followed her on twitter and even shared eyebrow stories and worry dolls and she gave me the final kick I needed to start documenting my journey.

    There is a hole in my life and I never meet her so I can’t even begin to know how you are all feeling but please find strength in that she touched my life and made me laugh, cry and travel down her path with her. I won’t forget.

    Issy (Iswhiz)
    X

    Reply

  53. Claire w
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:48:21

    Reading this aloud whilst crying in bed next to my boyfriend.
    Can’t begin to comprehend the pain you and your family are feeling. She was inspirational and do positive to the bitter end.

    God bless x

    Reply

  54. Betty Harris
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:48:22

    A wonderful tribute Tom, to a wonderful human being, Ellie. xx

    Reply

  55. Nick
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:48:26

    Tom

    I am so sorry for your loss. I started following Ellie’s blog after I read an article about it online, and I have found her spirit and positivity uplifting thoughout her horrible battle. Cancer is such a horrible disease – one that you hope that you will never be touched by. I only knew Ellie through rading her blog, and I have a very heavy heart having read your post.

    You have both been very lucky to have each other in your lives – and I am sure that she will remain with you for ever.

    Reply

  56. Allexie (@Miro09)
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:48:50

    Didn’t know her, never exchanged messages even but still feel incredibly sad at this news…….

    Reply

  57. Amanda
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:49:16

    Your blog is the most moving piece I have ever read, I don’t know either of you but I’m sure Ellie would be amazingly proud of you for so elequently paying tribute to her life and your love. My thoughts are with you and I hope you can take some strength from the strangers at these sad times. Very best wishes to you and Ellie’s people.

    Reply

  58. Louise
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:49:36

    Tom…. There are no words….. Many hearts are broken for EJ and for you…. Her parents & all family and friends…. She was a brilliant woman and one of the few people who could make a night shift bearable!!! Life is unfair and crap. I will always be pleased I knew her, and I know you have a lifetime of memories. She will always look after you. With deepest sympathy, Louise xxxx

    Reply

  59. Amanda
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:50:02

    So so sad what an amazing beautiful woman.

    God bless you all xxx

    Reply

  60. Tracy Doyle
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:51:39

    I’ve been following Ellie for a while now and always thought she’d beat this bastard! I’m sitting here in tears I’m so so so sorry! For Tom, for the rest of Ellie’s family and most of all for Ellie herself and what she’s missed! She is the bravest person I’ve ever come across and Tom, if you are reading this – you can take a lot of the credit for that! Your love for each other was immense. I’m just so so sorry

    Reply

  61. GP
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:51:43

    I was lucky enough to have worked with Ellie and she truly is one of life’s wonderful people. Ellie is, as we all know, beautiful inside and out. Her story has been heartbreaking, but she has given so much to others through it. She has been so brave and strong and it’s damned unfair that she didn’t get the wedding day that was so deserved.

    I feel truly honoured to have known her. My love, thoughts and prayers are with you all.

    Ellie sleep peacefully beautiful girl, you are amazing xxx

    Reply

  62. Patricia Springbett
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:52:16

    My heart bleeds for you, and I am crying as I write this. Ellie sounded just like my daughter, who died eighteen months ago, aged 28, of the same horrible disease. Life is so very unfair; it seems only the best are taken so young. No words are enough at this awful time, but I am thinking of you, and I hope your precious memories will be a comfort. Hugs, Patricia XXX

    Reply

  63. alison68
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:52:42

    I was only thinking of you two, i’m crying tears for you both and family. I go for my scan next Wednesday and like Ellie I hope for the best. She was a very brave girl and she made me put my next foot forward. She gave me joy, hope and laughter.

    Reply

  64. Julie Warren
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:53:46

    I’m so very sorry for your loss Tom and family. RIP Ellie, a remarkable, amazing woman x

    Reply

  65. Jennifer
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:54:52

    It is with great sadness I read your post Tom. Like many others, I did not know Ellie personally – only through her blog. She managed to touch so many and her wonderful spirit shone through her writing. I send you and Ellie’s family & friends my deepest condolences and prayers. x

    Reply

  66. Catharina
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:56:12

    Dear Tom, I read your blog with tears in my eyes…
    My sincere condolences to you, your and Ellie’s family and friends.

    Rest in peace, strong, brave and beautiful Ellie xx

    Reply

  67. Simon Cook
    May 20, 2012 @ 21:56:43

    Ellie was an amazing lady. I had the privilege of working with her at TFM and always looked forward to her coming to the studio to read the news on my show. In fact Ellie read the news on my last ever show on radio and I was always so proud of that.

    The world has far less loveliness without her in it, and my thoughts and love are with her family and fiancé.

    Reply

  68. wammythewoo
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:00:32

    I’ve only been reading Ellie’s blog for the last 3 or so months but had read all her posts. She seemed so brave, so full of fight and determination, a beautiful soul indeed. Words are so inadequate but I am still so very sorry for your loss. RIP Ellie x

    Reply

  69. Laura Selway
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:02:55

    Beautiful, beautiful post Tom, thank you for writing (and so soon) to us followers of the blog and for sharing your speech. I suspect Ellie was every bit as lucky to have you in her life as you were to have her. Love and condolences to you and all the family, x

    Reply

  70. Lindsay
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:03:04

    Ellie will be so proud of you, like many I never got to meet her but have regularly read her blog and she was amazing. You have done her proud with such a beautiful speech which I have no doubt she will have heard. Sending you and Ellie’s family & friends so much love and strength to get you through such a tough time, xxxxxx

    Reply

  71. Renée
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:04:30

    Ellie’s fire may have gone out, but she’s lighted up so many lights in so many of us, that she will never truly be gone. Even though I never met her, I will never forget her. Thank you so much for sharing this blog with us, it has truly changed the way I view life.

    Reply

  72. Kim
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:04:38

    This post just dropped into my inbox and words cannot express how desperately sad I feel for Tom and Ellie. I have read all of Ellie’s posts and been truly inspired by her. Life can be cruel and so, so unfair. Tom, your love for Elllie, I am sure, kept her going to the end. Thank you for the final post, heartbreaking though it was to read and must have been to write.

    Reply

  73. Andrea Dixon
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:05:54

    I didn’t know Ellie but reading her blogs made me realise how incredibly lucky I was to live a healthy life. It is clear to see how many life’s she touched and I hope people continue to get support from this. My heart goes out to you and ellies family and send my deepest condolences and prayers

    Reply

  74. Rachel
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:06:35

    So desperately sorry for you Tom and all of Ellie’s family. Ellie was everything you describe in this blog. She could make friends with anyone, she was a truly special woman. My thoughts go out to you and your family. Rachel.

    Reply

  75. Elizabeth
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:06:45

    I am so very sorry to hear this news Tom. Thank you for writing as beautifully as Ellie wrote and for sharing your wedding speach. You are a remarkable couple.

    Reply

  76. Kirsty
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:08:14

    Big love xxxx

    Reply

  77. Louise
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:10:35

    Dear Tom,
    I’ve started this comment 4 times now, I just can’t find the words I’m looking for…
    Instead I will just say, Ellie will always be an inspiration to me for the rest of my life. She has proved to us all that life is only what you make of it, whether you chose to sit back and let it rule you or stand up and fight for what you wish to achieve.
    I would love to see her blog in print. I believe her words will continue to inspire people for a long time to come.

    I will always remember her smiling face from school, beautiful girl.

    You and Ellie and your families are in my thoughts a lot these days, take the thoughts and love from around the world and use them as hands to support you at this time.

    Rest easy Ellie, no more pain xx

    Reply

  78. Mizzyidiort
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:11:28

    I’m not going to begin my comment with any usual-usual platitudes but suffice to say, the love you and Ellie shared will never end. NEVER END. It is continued. Will forever continue. Know that she will be forever with you. Watching. Smiling. (You’ll know what I mean. In time). Know that the short time that you have spent with the love that you had together is much longer than many still living will ever have. And no, you didn’t need a ceremony to validate your love. God bless your love. God bless your strength. God bless Ellie’s family’s and friends. And God bless your love continued and thereafter :-)

    Reply

  79. Laura
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:14:33

    Ellie has been in my thoughts constantly since I heard the news on Friday. She has inspired so many people through words alone: people with cancer and also those affected by it like myself. She has taught us all to cherish our lives and to fight to overcome every obstacle in our path. It would be wonderful if her blog could be published so as to reach out to even more people and inspire them with her courage, determination and humour. I always looked forward to reading a new post from Ellie and always came away feeling inspired and full of admiration for her. I was so excited for her to have her wedding but I think it was clear to all of us readers that you and Ellie were already married in all but name, your devotion and your love for each other clearly gave Ellie the strength to fight. My deepest condolences to you and all of Ellie’s loved ones whose loss I can’t begin to imagine. Her legacy will live on in and through so many people even those of us who didn’t know her personally whose lives she has still touched with her strength and courage.

    Reply

  80. Ashley
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:15:25

    RIP Ellie, she is a true inspiration to so many people. Xx

    Reply

  81. Sam Dudley
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:15:53

    I’m so sorry for your loss Tom, you, Ellie and her family are all in my thoughts. What a beautiful tribute to her. She was truly an inspirational young lady and her memory will live on forever.

    I remember Ellie from school, she was the year above me but I often played netball with her, Lora and the other girls and did so for a few years. Beautiful, popular and very kind hearted, I feel honoured to have known her.

    I hope you find the strength to make it through this dark time.

    You are all in my prayers. Rest in peace Ellie xxx

    Reply

  82. Helen Foulds
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:16:37

    I never wanted this day to come but I’d like to say what a wonderful person Ellie was and her optimism was clear to see and inspiring. Love to Tom and family and best wishes to all still fighting on xxxxxxxx

    Ps- wonderful wedding speach x

    Reply

  83. Lynsey Southern
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:16:40

    Oh my Tom, I am so sorry for your loss. I have followed Ellie’s blog and have always been inspired by her courage and humour. I don’t think I shall ever forget her. Thank you so much for sharing. Take care and let her light shine on! Xxxx

    Reply

  84. Jane
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:19:37

    My heart goes out to you and Ellie’s family, Tom.

    Your life has been enriched by Ellie, even if it was cut so cruelly short. And I am know that she was lucky to have you.

    As a fellow cancer sufferer I have been lifted up and encouraged by Ellie’s spirit, sense of humour and love for life.

    That was a beautiful speech too. Please don’t close the blog down. I think it will help many people.

    xo

    Reply

  85. Natalia
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:21:13

    Dear Tom, I am overhelmed by hearing this incredibly sad news! I only found this blog 3 weeks ago and went regularly since then to look for news. Ellie was and WILL ALWAYS BE such a source of inspiration for all of us who have to fight for our health every day! I wish u lots of strenght and love from your friends and relatives! As we use to say in Slovakia -your love was made in heaven – and eventhough it was a gift for just a little moment of your life, i wish it will make u grow stronger in order u can be happy one day…
    Please don’ t close this blog! I stil want to read it. Wishing u truly all the best! Natalia from Slovakia

    Ps. Pls read the book Angels in my hair from Lorna Byrne. – i know sounds like a book for girls – but i promise it is really recomforting!!!)

    Reply

  86. Mojo
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:23:05

    I’m struggling to know what to write here. Any words feel inadequate. I’m so sorry for your loss Tom, I never knew Ellie other than through her blog but she touched me through her writing and I like many others cheered her on from the sidelines. She loved you very very much, that was crystal clear to all her readers and I am sure was that love was the power behind her ability to fight.My sincere condolences. You are both in my prayers x

    Reply

  87. paula
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:23:07

    What a beautiful write up, and ime sure this lady was very special to so many people. So so sad R.I.P ellie x

    Reply

  88. londonmiss
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:24:17

    Tom – I didn’t know Ellie, but her warmth, intelligence and sparkle has kept me following her and wishing her well since the very beginning of this blog. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for, even now, supporting her and her work. She was lucky to have met you,

    Reply

  89. Annie
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:26:33

    I started to follow Ellie’s blog after I read an article in a newspaper that she had written and it really touched my heart, what a wonderful, inspirational person she was always upbeat and funny. I lost my best friend only 6 weeks ago but she wasn’t diagnosed with cancer until the day before she died. Your love was so strong for each other which came through in Ellie’s writings. She might not have got the wedding day she so planned and wanted but at least she always had you the love of her life. My thoughts are with you and your families as you grieve for the lost of the wonderful Ellie who touched so many lives.

    Reply

  90. Elaine Young
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:28:03

    Thank you for writing this Tom, it must have taken an enormous amount of courage and I think your speech was just lovely. Take care and God bless you and all of Ellie’s family.

    Reply

  91. Jean Williams
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:31:23

    I’ve been following Ellie’s blog and crying and laughing along with her from afar, like so many who never had the pleasure of meeting her. Your last blog is heartbreaking. I’m truly sorry about Ellie’s death. Whilst you and her family and friends are obviously devastated I’m sure you’re all so incredibly proud of Ellie and the way she touched so many people. Thinking of you all xxx

    Reply

  92. Sam Hobden nee: Jeffery
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:32:43

    Really gutted and sad to read this tonight… Having lost a dear friend to cancer a couple of years ago I followed Ellie’s posts and was so lifted by her spirit and battle against this horrible and cruel disease. Rest in peace Ellie from a fellow Jeffery x

    Reply

  93. Louise
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:32:46

    I am so sorry that you had to write this post. I feel privileged to have read Ellie’s blog and have found her to be truly inspirational. What an amazing, positive person she was. I truly hope that through her insiprational blog she lives on through others. xx

    Reply

  94. Lulu
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:33:47

    Tom, I wish there were words to comfort you. But I think you said it all beautifully. I’m glad that Ellie had you.. And glad that you had her. She’s really something to be proud of. God love and watch over all of her loved ones. Sleep well Ellie. God bless you Tom.x

    Reply

  95. Lyndsay
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:33:53

    Although Ellie and I haven’t been in contact since school, I’ve been following her blog for over a year now and she was such an inspirational lady. I know I don’t know you Tom, but you are just as amazing as Ellie and I think I speak for others when I say, she found an extra special guy- it is so clear you were both so in love. She will never be forgotten. I have so many lovely memories of her from school and playing out in new marske after school. Rip with the angels Ellie. You will be missed but never forgotten.

    Reply

  96. Carol eason
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:37:05

    Dear Tom, I am so sorry for your loss. I have followed the blog for a while and have included you and Ellie in my prayers, especially as the wedding was drawing closer. I would also like to pass my sympathy on to the rest of Ellie’s family and friends. What an amazing woman.

    Reply

  97. Dawn
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:37:20

    RIP Ellie, I’ve been following your blog and you have given me such hope. Tom, I wish you all the best and all the love for the future xx

    Reply

  98. Deb
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:37:25

    Oh Eric, you and Ellie have been so generous in sharing your lives with us. I am reading this the day after my own wedding anniversary and it just makes me appreciate the everyday things all the more. Your speech was so beautiful. As I am sure you were told, hearing is the last sense to leave the dying and I have no doubt that your beautiful girl heard every word, even if she
    couldn’t respond. All of us who followed Ellie’s blog knew how much she loved you and we also know what a wonderful gift you were in her life. The greatest regret in death is a life not lived fully. Ellie’s life was cut too short, but it was full. I think I can speak for all of us here in saying that we hold you and Ellie’s family in great love. Thank you for continuing the work that Ellie started and thanks too for sharing donation opportunities. My most sincere condolences and wishes for your comfort in this time of such great loss.

    Reply

    • Deb
      May 20, 2012 @ 22:41:44

      Ack–sorry Tom, I just answered a friend’s email before reading this and realized I used his name, not yours. Sincere apologies

      Reply

  99. fionka78
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:37:38

    So sad. My heart goes out to you, Tom. That must have been heart-wrenching to write, but I (and many others, I’m sure) appreciate that you posted so soon. This has been a truly wonderful blog, despite the subject matter and consequent tears, but so fitting that you included your wedding speech at the end. What a wonderful couple – an inspiration to many. You and your families will be in my thoughts in the weeks to come.

    Reply

  100. Zoe Springbett
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:38:09

    My mum has just called me with this news and we both cried down the phone. Ellie was so much like my sister that reading her blogs was like having JoJo back in my life. Ellie’s humour, witty turn of phrase, feistiness, optimism, strength and generosity despite fighting this hideous battle of breast cancer (which took Josie aged 28, eighteen months ago) was just so like my sister. Ellie’s death feels like losing Josie all over again. The first thing I said to Mum was “Oh no!! Ellie was SO close to making her wedding!”. I’m so deeply sorry that she didn’t Tom.
    I was only talking about Ellie last night to another woman who’s sister is also ill with breast cancer- I recommended she read the blog as it was so honest yet inspiring.

    Words fail me, as I feel such a loss and I never even knew her, so goodness only knows how you must feel. Please publish her blog Tom, it’ll be something to keep you busy and also make sure that Ellie is continuing to help people for years to come. What an amazing person she was.

    Love to you all. Xxxxxxxxxx

    Reply

  101. Laura P
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:38:20

    Dear Tom,
    We never met but through Ellie’s post I can see you are such a wonderful man , to have made Ellie so happy, to have stood by her and made her see the positive side of life on the rare occasions she was having some little niggly doubts. Ellie and i were in Leeds together at Uni, we used to have crazy drunken parties at ours or at her’s and Jess’s and Laura’s – really fun times! Ellie was such a beautiful, witty and gorgeous person – i can’t remember the prize she got at uni but it was something like ‘most sexy’ or ‘most intelligent’ in the year- well she could have got both and more! i was aways so envious of her hair, i couldn’t figure out how she managed to do those lovely plaits – and way before it was fashionable!
    When I heard about the cancer shit, i couldn’t believe it and assumed that with Ellie being so strong and beautiful , she’s definitely get the better of it. I stil can’t believe she didn’t, infact i’m sure she’ll have the last laugh up there, with the stars, angels and whatever you believe in.
    At the time when Jess told me about the effects of the cancer on Ellie, i was trying to decide whether to have kids, I was 28. Ellie’s story made me think I should grab life by the balls and live it, have as many experiences as possible and never wait for anything, especially not children. Little did i know I was actually already pregnant! SO now Mia is here, she’s 8 months old and a real character. I’ll always remember Ellie and think of her when I look at Mia and that day her story made me realise that life is short – we have to live it like every day is our last. I really hope you publish the book, it’s such an inspiration, I wil show it to my daughter as soon as she’s old enough to understand and maye sooner! The story of a beautiful woman who was sent her to love, inspire and make people laugh and to love you Tom and to show so many people what real love and life is.

    Please send our love to Ellie’s family and a big hug for you. Lots of love xxxxxx

    Reply

  102. midlifegardener
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:40:05

    We had meant to post a reply for ages….For the past year Claire has undergone chemotherapy and stem cell transplant and Ellie’s blog has mirrored and described so many of our experiences and feelings. The mixture of postivity and black humour was infectious and inspirational to us both. Much of what we felt was so pithily expressed by Ellie. This news is simply devastating. Stay strong Tom – you know that so many people are thinking of you and your dear Ellie. Thank you both of you for being such examples of strength for so many people’s lives.

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  103. Gwen
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:42:09

    God bless you Tom for taking the time to share this sadness with so many of us who have been waiting for news of Ellie. There is no doubt that love is all there is and it never dies. May you feel all the love that Ellie’s spirit sends you on your planned weddig date. She has touched many, many lives in her short visit to this world and we are the better for it.

    Reply

  104. Sharon Mulhall
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:42:15

    So so sad, a very brave girl,taken too young I felt I knew her too from reading her blog…. A true inspiration.
    Rest in peace Ellie.

    Sharon
    Dublin

    Reply

  105. Sarah cole
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:44:27

    Hi Tom,

    My message is somewhat of a persindl one. My very best friends m

    Reply

  106. marie hitchman
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:45:10

    You are very brave I send my love to you and your family & friendsxx best wishes Marie Hitchmans

    Reply

  107. Phil Mitchell
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:45:33

    Tom and all of your good friends and family. I came across this posting through a posting on the social media by somebody else. Its a sad time when somebody so young & close to all your hearts passes away like this. She sounds a lovely person who will be missed by many. My thoughts and heart-felt deepest condolensces go out to you tonight. Be brave and stay strong and you will have support of many people out there.

    Reply

  108. Shelley
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:47:55

    I have not been one of the fortunate ones to have personally known Ellie, but was encouraged to read her blog through mutual colleagues of the media world quite recently. I’m glad I did and am so sad to hear about her passing. For those who did know Ellie, I wish you strength to get through the pain and love and happy memories in abundance.
    Tom, your wedding speech was simply perfect.

    Reply

  109. Heather Prouse
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:50:41

    Such an amazing young lady. I havnt seen Ellie since my daughter was at senior school with her.She was a lovely girl from a lovely family and may I also say her dad was one of my favourite teachers when I attended the same school !! Her mum was also a work colleague until her retirement. My heart goes out to you Tom and her parents and loving family at this terribly sad time. Love and hugs.xxxx

    Reply

  110. inge
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:54:30

    An inspirational and very brave girl has gone. RIP Ellie. Condolences to you Tom and the rest of the family.

    Reply

  111. Pete Boyes
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:55:44

    Ellie will be forever in our thoughts and hearts ,the bravest and most inspirational person anyone could wish to have known taken from so many loved ones far too soon, she may rest now in peace

    Reply

  112. Melissa
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:58:39

    Tom, I didn’t know Ellie but it looks like she touched a lot of people. I’m so sorry for your loss. But I’m thankful that she found love. A lot of people spend their entire lives looking for love, but she found you and you gave that to her. Even if she never made it to your wedding day, at least she knows she was loved by you. God bless you at this difficult time and always x

    Reply

  113. Lisa McBurnie
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:58:55

    So sorry to read the post from you Tom, my heart goes out to you and all of Ellie’s and indeed your family and friends. Ellie’s fighting spirit shone through in every blog and she was a truly remarkable person. Her memory will live on.

    Reply

  114. tracie C
    May 20, 2012 @ 22:59:05

    All day on the 18th I kept thinking of Ellie thinking its been a long time since she last posted, and could not stop thinking of her. She was in my thoughts constantly all day long. I saw the email pop into my email a few moments ago and fully expected it to be Ellie giving us a run down of her trial and tribulations and triumphs, and then I read the first lines. My blood ran cold – shock surged through me for I always hoped and dreamed and believed that you would both make it to this wonderful wedding. The plans kept her going. At first I thought Why Tom did you not marry her in the hospital and then after a few minutes of reading your post I understood exactly why – she wanted this wonderful wedding and to take that away from her would have been not what she wanted. Utter shock, I cannot write any more other than to say I will never forget her, I will never forget her Kick Ass attitude and her determination to look the disease in the eye and say come on Im going to give you one hell of a fight. Bravery that none of us could ever match. Thank you for sharing Ellie’s last days with us all – We all loved her – she truly touched so many of us. RIP Ellie. Thank you Tom my condolences to you and your family.

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  115. Ger
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:01:03

    Tom, am heartbroken to hear the awful news. Like so many others, I didn’t know Ellie, but have been so inspired by her bravery. My heart goes out to you, and both you and Ellie are in my prayers. What a wonderful woman. She really made a difference to so many lives.

    Reply

  116. Pete Housley
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:01:24

    There are no words to describe how much I admire you for writing this, so soon after such a devastating loss. I cannot even begin to imagine how you must be feeling right now. All I can say (and I know how futile this will sound) is that my thoughts are with you and from what I have read on twitter so are those of many, many others.

    Reply

  117. Caroline
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:02:03

    Tom, Ellie’s friends & Family..

    I know from experience (sadly) how devastating the past few months, days & coming days have been & will be for you all.
    Ellie was a remarkably brave & inspiring young woman.

    I hope she is now at peace.

    My love & prayers to you all.

    Caroline

    Reply

  118. Elisa
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:03:41

    Thank you Tom for taking the time to write this precious post.

    I can’t write as good as you and Ellie so, once again, thank to you both.

    I hope time will ease your sorrow, I can’t even imagine how you and the rest of her family are feeling right now.

    Here, in a small town in Italy, there is someone who will miss her greatly, too.

    Elisa.

    Reply

  119. Ayanna Durant
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:04:07

    I didn’t know Ellie personally but I read her blog regularly and followed her on Twitter. I truly admired her indomitable spirit, her courage and her optimism. Her blog inspired me to appreciate very single day and has motivated me to stop sweating the small stuff. I am so very sorry for your loss.

    Reply

  120. Kate Heath
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:05:03

    I’m so saddened to read this. Words can often seem like empty vessels at times but my thoughts are with you and with Ellie’s family and friends.

    Kate

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  121. peter
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:07:04

    Tom, I had the honour to work with Ellie during her time at Tyne Tees in the Teesside office. She was such a lovely lass and a great talent. I was devastated to hear of her passing and I am truly sorry for your loss. All my love and best wishes.

    Reply

  122. Harriet
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:09:17

    I was so sorry to hear the sad news about Ellie. She obviously was a truly inspirational lady; her warmth and sense of humour shone through in her blog. I am heartbroken for you both that you didn’t get to share your special day, but I hope the many wonderful memories of her are a comfort to you Tom, and all her friends and family. She has left a legacy to so many people through her blog, her wonderful attitude to adversity is an example to us all. Let’s all raise lots of money for the causes that were important to her. What better way to honour her memory? Rest in peace Ellie. xx

    Reply

  123. Rachel
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:09:35

    Tom, I’m so sad that you have had to write this post but what beautiful words to honour Ellie’s amazing life. I started reading Ellie’s blog after my mum passed away last year and her blog kept me positive through some very dark times…if Ellie was still able to smile, enjoy life and plan for the future then so can I…I’m writing this with tears pouring down my face and though never had the pleasure of meeting Ellie she has profoundly touched my life and I will never forget her amazing courage and zest for life. You and all of Ellie’s family and friends are in my prayers at this most difficult time.

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  124. Paul
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:13:31

    Regret and sadness are the two words I felt as I read the post that all here dreaded.
    Regret that she didn’t live to make her wedding to her soulmate and sadness that her fight to live has come to an end.
    Through her fight though, by documenting it on here, it has been a source of strength to countless others who suffer from cancer but many times more of people who are healthy (now!) and want to see someone amazing overcome the odds. That is what I took from it, a reminder, as you are so unfairly and painfully aware, that life is fragile and it is to be cherished. One thing over anything I got from. “Written Off” is your love for each other, it shone through even in Ellie’s darkest hours, it was a beacon in that fog. I have no doubt that you two were soulmates and I truly believe that not only the blog and a book will keep her spirit alive.

    Right now I fear all this will be mere words to you but I hope you find your way and find comfort that so many cared for Ellie, who was in essence, a stranger but one that captured our hearts. I hope one day the comments on here will bring you comfort.
    My deepest condolences Tom to you and all of Ellie’s loved ones. May she rest in peace.

    Paul

    Reply

    • Grace
      May 22, 2012 @ 17:29:41

      you couldn’t have echoed my feeling and thoughts in a better way Paul.
      Tom and Ellie’s family,my heart goes out to you,God will take you through this darkest hour too.
      Ellie was my inspiration even if she was so far away from me…Kenya.

      Grace

      Reply

  125. Ros
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:14:37

    Tom – I hope you get some comfort from the knowledge that Ellie made so many ‘friends’ through her blog and helped many people. You are in my thoughts

    Reply

  126. fionka78
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:14:45

    So very sorry to read this, Tom. My heart goes straight out to you. It must have been a heart-wrenching post to pen, but it flowed seamlessly on from the writer herself, which clearly shows that you were made for each other. Your wedding speech was beautiful.
    Take comfort from the fact that Ellie touched so many; even the strangers on here, like me, who did not the pleasure to have meet her. I am just gutted that she was snatched away from you sooner, rather than later. Truly I am.

    The memories will never fade. Neither will her blog.

    Fiona Mackie

    Reply

  127. Paula
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:15:29

    Dear Tom, my heart sank when I logged onto Ellie’s blog this evening & saw the title. So so sad. I didn’t know Ellie but had been reading her updates for many months & she felt like a friend. She was a truly courageous, ballsy, humourous & inspirational lady, who made me count my blessings, and slap myself if I thought I’d had a bad day. My thoughts are with you all, she will be sorely missed. RIP dearest Ellie, may you be partying in Heaven. X

    Reply

  128. Ann Newman
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:15:38

    Thank you Tom for writing this blog for your Ellie. She touched so many hearts and was always an inspiration to us all. How she kept herself going we will never know but her strength shone out and all of you close to her must have been engulfed by it. Thank you for sharing your wedding speech with us, we are all privileged to read it. Your idea to publish Ellie’s blog to help others will be a lasting memorial to her and one which will help you and her family long in to the future. She was a remarkable woman. Ann x

    Reply

  129. Victoria Sharratt
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:16:06

    my heart goes out to you Tom at such a difficult time. Ellie was such a brave and courageous young lady and has inspired so many people on her journey. i send my deepest condolences to you and both your families. rest in peace Ellie, gone but never forgotten x

    Reply

  130. ruth kuzda
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:18:39

    I’m crying as I read this post.I just want to express my sadness for the loss of your sweet Ellie.I knew her only through her blog and she touched me with her candor and bravery. She never gave up hope.My thoughts are with you and Ellies family at this time.

    Reply

  131. Maite
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:20:48

    I´m deeply sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you and with
    Ellie´s family. I didn´t know Ellie but she touched so many hearts,including mine.
    She helped so many people with her wonderful blog ,she helped me to understand better the reality of the illness as my auntie has advanced breast cancer,She never gave up,she was courageous and unique and she will never be forgotten.

    Reply

  132. Lucy
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:22:44

    I am so sorry. I heard the news yesterday and it has stopped me in my tracks. I didn’t know Ellie, I only followed her blog – but I have never felt such compassion for someone i have never met. I am just so sorry for you all, life is so heartless. I hope you can somehow find the strength to get through this terrible pain. X

    Reply

  133. Grace
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:25:34

    Tom and Ellie’s family

    I dont know you or Ellie personally, but like many others I too have followed this blog for a long time, I have read every post, and of course this post written by you Tom, is the saddest and one I hoped would never be written.
    Ellie was an inspiration, she seemed lilke the most lovely person. Reading her blog made me realise the “problems” I had in my life were nothing in comparison to what lovely people like Ellie were going through. I actually logged on on Friday night as I hadnt seen a post uploaded for a while, since it had been a month or so since her last post and I was worried about Ellie and how she was doing.
    Ellies strength and courage was remarkable.
    I am so sorry for your loss, your post made me cry (it was so beautifully written, esp the wedding speech) and I hope that in time God will give you the comfort and peace to continue to live your life the way Ellie would have wanted you to.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you, May Ellie rest in peace
    xx

    Reply

  134. Nikki Stamp (@NikkiStamp)
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:27:36

    Dear Tom, I am sitting here in Australia, a million miles away, never having known Ellie but I am bawling my eyes out. The world may have lost a remarkable young woman, but that is nothing compared to the loss of her nearest and dearest. I hope you can all find comfort in having known such a beautiful lady. God bless you all, you’re in my thoughts and prayers.

    Reply

  135. leanne chetham
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:28:22

    A wonderful tribute to a wonderful person – i hope that your pain is eased even just a little when you read the comments here and see how many lives Ellie touched – much love.

    Reply

  136. Samantha Lippett
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:36:28

    Tom – thank you for your beautiful post, I am so sorry for your loss. Rest in peace Ellie, you truly were an inspiration. Xxx

    Reply

  137. Rosie Butler
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:36:51

    Dear Tom

    it takes one very special human being to know another

    you and Ellie are so well matched in this regard

    thank you for sharing your wedding day speech with us all here

    so many thoughts and prayers are with you and those close to you and to Ellie

    may you find comfort in the words and thoughts shared here

    Rosie Butler

    Reply

  138. Cathie Robertson
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:39:26

    Thankyou for letting us all know, I think we have all been waiting and when no updates came we all hoped and prayed that it would not be bad news.

    She was a very brave and inspirational person,even to those of us, like me who only came to “know” her by chance, though a comment on Twitter. When the time is right then I am sure publishing her blog will carry on what she has been doing and help other people fighting cancer, and those of us who are forunate enough not be be in that position, to give us an insight into a very private world.

    Sincere condolences to you, both your families and friends and may Ellie rest in peace.

    Reply

  139. Angharad Marsh
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:50:55

    Tom, I am so, so sorry to read your terribly sad news. Ellie sounds like an amazing woman. Thinking of you, with love, Angharad xxx

    Reply

  140. Kate
    May 20, 2012 @ 23:55:28

    I’m so very sad after reading your post Tom. Like most people I just happened to come across her blog and since then my own father has been diagnosed with cancer. Ellie’s blog was and is an absolute inspiration to me and I’ve never read to two people more in love with each other. I know there’s not many words of comfort I can offer you, Ellie’s family or friends, but I do know that she touched my people’s lives and will continue to. I’m sending my deep condolences to you. I’ve never really believed in god or anything, but it’s always been a small comfort to me to think that whenever I have lost someone (I lost my mother not too long ago) that even though we might not meet again, whenever I pass, I’ll be where ever she is, regardless of where that might be. I wish you all the best and I know you will certainly cherish the time you did have together. Goodnight Ellie.

    All my love,
    Kate x x x

    Reply

  141. Clare
    May 21, 2012 @ 00:09:58

    Tom, thank you so much for writing this post. I can only imagine how difficult this must have been and Ellie would be so proud of you.

    I never met Ellie but we corresponded several times as I battled with this disease. I will never forget Ellie and her bravery and kindness of spirit.

    My thoughts are with you and all those who knew and loved Ellie.

    Reply

  142. Jo Reynolds
    May 21, 2012 @ 00:10:51

    Dear Tom
    I was so desperately sad to hear the news of Ellie’s passing. I do hope you manage to make a book from her blog. It is truly wonderful to read and her personality shines through in every paragraph. You could tell how much she adored you and gained strength from your unwavering support. I offer you and all of Ellie’s family my sincere condolences.
    Jo
    xxx

    Reply

  143. Stacey Dixon
    May 21, 2012 @ 00:21:26

    I didn’t know Ellie but followed this blog from the beginning what an inspiring women! Such sad news thoughts go out to family, friends and Tom I can’t even imagine how hard it was for you to write that blog.

    Stacey x

    Reply

  144. Katy
    May 21, 2012 @ 00:32:13

    What a brave lady. And what a terrible disease. A fellow Brixton resident, I send you all the love and best wishes in the world. Gone far too soon, but wise beyond her years. A true inspiration. Love Katy x

    Reply

  145. DEBORAH MORGAN-SMITH...........Surrey
    May 21, 2012 @ 00:44:23

    Dear Tom. I do believe that Ellie has gone ” home” and that when your time comes to go ” home” you will be together forever. For whatever reason, it was her time to go, her work here was done, and you don’t have to look very far to see what her work here was!Her legacies will be left with people all over the world, many of whom had never met her but knew of her.I hope that you will take some comfort from the knowledge that Ellie is now alongside your Dear Dad, both of whom will be forever guiding you and giving you strength, love, and support.
    I hope that you will not just publish Ellie’s blog, but will consider writing “your” story in a book. Apart from being cathartic for yourself, it will give your perspective as the partner of someone fighting cancer. As you know from unwelcome experience, you’ve just been living through the most heartbreaking and emotionally demanding time imaginable and so your articulate account could help others going through similar I’m sure.Carry on writing for Ellie, take up the mantle, and try to make some sense of what has just happened. I’m sure that you can be as magnetic as she was and she would be so proud of you.
    Take care of yourself Tom,you have many people praying for you, myself included.It’s all so terribly sad.
    God Bless
    XXXX

    Reply

  146. Roger
    May 21, 2012 @ 00:46:17

    I went through this exactly 9 months ago today. It doesn’t get any easier, believe me. It’s very weird at first, with the routine of hospital visits suddenly stopped and the return of a “normal” life without that most important person. Just do one day at a time and try and imagine what you will be doing in two years from now. Oh – and eat properly!

    Reply

  147. fay beech
    May 21, 2012 @ 00:46:29

    Oh my Good God, I am so sorry. I have been reading her blog and just being amazed at her. I thought something was wrong when she had not written for a while, but thought she was just getting ready for her wedding. Dude, this just sucks. My thoughts are with you and both of your families. This is a great loss.

    Reply

  148. Ellie Mae
    May 21, 2012 @ 00:48:22

    Hi Tom, I just wanted to say how very sorry I am for you losing such a wonderful, inspirational person. I wasn’t fortunate enough to have known Ellie but feel very lucky to have followed her courageous journey. Deepest sympathies xXx

    Reply

  149. Davina Bidart
    May 21, 2012 @ 00:48:40

    To Tom,
    Our thoughts are with you in this very sad time. Please give John a big hug from us as we know how devasted you all are.
    With love from
    The Bidart Family
    from down under

    Reply

  150. wheresranday84
    May 21, 2012 @ 01:04:30

    So so sorry for your loss! Really feel like I knew Ellie having followed her blog! So sad to read this post,really thought you would get to have the wedding of your dreams and so sorry that you weren’t able to!
    I really feel like following Ellie has made me live my life differently and appreciate everything! So many times I have caught myself moaning about trivial things that really don’t matter!Ellie was always so positive so a big thank you to her!Will miss her posts and wish you all the best Tom,again,so sorry x

    Reply

  151. Philippa
    May 21, 2012 @ 01:15:25

    Thank you so much Tom for writing this post; to inform us of what happened so soon after Ellie’s passing must have been very painful and must also have taken a lot of strength. You write beautifully and it is clear that you and Ellie are a perfect, intelligent and eloquent match. Over the past few days since learning of Ellie’s death I have been thinking about her almost constantly, wondering how this shocking, unexpected and sad event could have happened but at the same time telling myself that I may never know. It helps to know how this happened.

    When I have money I will certainly donate to both of Ellie’s preferred charities; in this way and through her inspiring words she has had, and will continue to have, a positive and meaningful impact on this world. How amazing that she achieved so much as a young person, more than most others do in a full lifetime. Ellie’s death is another (unneeded) reminder of how unfair and random this universe is, and how fleeting ALL of our own lives are. I have learnt a lot from Ellie and she is directly responsible for positively transforming my own life, priorities, and way of thinking.

    Ellie knew true love through her relationship with you; few people experience that.

    I think it would be very helpful to others to publicise Ellie’s writing here in some way. Keeping her blog online would also keep her inspiring words and story accessible to a wider/ international audience. I will keep checking in to see any further photos/ videos posted.

    Thinking of you and Ellie’s loved ones at this extremely painful and sorrowful time, and wishing you strength. xxx

    Reply

  152. Dawn
    May 21, 2012 @ 01:17:51

    I’m so sorry to read this last post. I’m sorry that you didn’t both have the amazing wedding that you’d planned, sorry that again a wonderful young life has been taken by a cruel disease. I don’t know Ellie but found her writing truly inspiring, it was special, I kinda felt I did know her, I wish I had. I cannot imagine your pain but Ellie will help you through in the hard times to follow and take special care of you. Even though you did not get the wedding you planned, you and Ellie have the most precious love that will never leave you. It is the one thing that shone like a beaming light through all her blogs. What an amazing bond you both have. I will think lovely thoughts of Ellie, and send you all good wishes to help you through, x Dawn

    Reply

  153. Emma Low
    May 21, 2012 @ 01:46:22

    Dear Tom,
    I am so very sorry for your loss, I did not know Ellie but had followed her blog ever since ready an article about her the paper. I am devistated for you both I was praying that you would both get your beautiful wedding and more time together. She was truely inspirational and a real fighter I wish I had written her a message to say how much her blog had inspired me but not being very articulate I didn’t really know what to write. My thoughts are with you and all of your families.
    Much love Emma xxx
    Ps Wedding speech was fab

    Reply

  154. craftystudent
    May 21, 2012 @ 01:48:20

    simply heartbroken, r.i.p ellie

    Reply

  155. Sharon
    May 21, 2012 @ 01:48:27

    Oh Tom how I wish you had never needed to write this post. Your amazing Ellie taken too soon and so cruelly. I had really hoped that Ellie would make it to your wedding day, by her sheer strength of will if nothing else. As the weeks have passed since her last posting I tried to still my worried thoughts. So very sorry you were both denied even the glorious day she had planned never mind the many long and joyous years together you should have had. Life and cancer can be so bloody unfair.

    Ellie will live on in your heart and mind like a bright shiny star for the rest of your days and you must hold tight to that amazing spirit. Bring out her gift of love on the dark days and listen to her voice, it will help. To have loved and been loved so entirely was surely a gift.

    Reply

  156. Cindy May
    May 21, 2012 @ 03:01:38

    Dear Tom & Family
    Words can’t express the sadness I feel for you all. I like so many others didn’t know Ellie but read her inspirational posts and truly hoped she would beat this hideous disease and have the life with you that she dreamed of, life is so unfair, be comforted in the knowledge of just how many lives Ellie has forever changed for the better, I for one will never forget her. I send you love and strength to carry on and wish you all the very best with your future, you will always carry Ellie’s spirit with you, love from the other side of the world – Cindy NZ

    Reply

  157. nelly oneill
    May 21, 2012 @ 03:47:30

    India calling
    God Bless Ellie may she rest in peace.
    And tom whenever you see the brightest star the will be your Ellie.
    God bless you mr tom .live your life and be happy
    She is and always will be an inspiration to people like myself who live with cancer.
    I never knew her but I will never forget her.
    Nelly o Neill x

    Reply

  158. drowqueen
    May 21, 2012 @ 04:33:55

    There are no words of comfort that ever seem adequate enough during times of loss from cancer. It touches us all deeply and on many levels, we never truly recover. Should you change your mind and keep this blog open for a while longer, you would have many, many people who would understand the grief process your family is going through. May you find strength in our bond.

    Reply

  159. Susie Kroon
    May 21, 2012 @ 04:50:56

    Dear Tom,
    I was really saddened to read your blog. I live overseas, and I read an article about Ellie in the Mailonline. I’ve been praying for the Lord to heal her ever since. She’s one of the first people I pray for every day. I also pray for Alice Pyne. We have been praying for them both, when we pray together at home as a family as well.Please accept my deepest sympathys to you and your two families. I do hope and pray that The Lord Jesus will comfort and strengthen you.
    I will continue to uphold you and your two families in pray. God Bless You!

    Reply

  160. Vicky Easby
    May 21, 2012 @ 04:57:29

    Ellie was a great friend of mine from school and college and i’ve been following her posts since the beginning. Every day since, i’ve really had a new perspective on life and what’s important. Those little things that people worry about suddenly seem so insignificant in comparisson to what you and Ellie have been through. I truely hoped that Ellie would be the one who miraculously got though this. I hope that Ellie’s story can go on further still and be a reminder to people everyday of what is important and to inspire other cancer sufferers to never give up on your hopes and dreams. My love goes to you and Ellie’s family. She’ll live on in our hearts. xx

    Reply

  161. Lora
    May 21, 2012 @ 05:20:42

    Thinking of you Tom, i had the pleasure if seeing Ellie speak about you in person, her face lit up and she always smiled whenever she mentioned your name, you made her so happy. I can’t even imagine what you are going through. All my love, Lora xxxx

    Reply

  162. Laura
    May 21, 2012 @ 05:47:57

    For Ellie and Tom….I can’t bring myself to address either of you any other way…You will always go together…You have reminded me of what really matters in this life and for that gift I am very grateful. My sentiments have been expressed here by many others so I just want to let you know that I have just blown a kiss up into the sky for Ellie, you and your loved ones

    Reply

  163. isadopt
    May 21, 2012 @ 06:06:23

    Dearest Tom,
    I am very sad to hear the sad news about our dear Ellie. She was a symbol of courage. You have been wonderful to her, sad to know that Ellie is gone, but will remain in my heart forever .
    I wish to you so many blessings in your life. Be strong, Ellie will always be in your life, even if she is far. One day we all will meet in heaven.
    Love,
    Ysabel

    Reply

  164. isadopt
    May 21, 2012 @ 06:10:44

    Dearest Tom,

    I am very sad to hear this terrible news.
    We all know how much Ellie loved you, you were her universe.
    You have been wonderful to her to the last second and after.
    She was a lucky girl to have you in her life.
    Be strong,

    Love,

    Ysabel

    Reply

  165. Sally
    May 21, 2012 @ 06:41:03

    So sad, so sorry for your loss. She was a truly amazing woman. Knowing now that she is at peace and that the pain and suffering has gone must be a small comfort. Tom you can get through this and you will always have such happy, love filled memories of your Ellie. x

    Reply

  166. Becky
    May 21, 2012 @ 06:41:26

    Ellie has touched so many lives- people who didn’t know her an all that did. This is such sad news, I hope you can take some comfort in knowing what a true inspiration she is to all people who read this. Love and prayers x

    Reply

  167. karen
    May 21, 2012 @ 06:46:51

    Thinking of you Tom at this sad time. I must admit I was so shocked at the news when I read the blog this morning. Ellie was always so positive. I didn’t know Ellie personally but it felt like I did from signing up to her blog. she will always be an inspiration to others. She will always be in your heart and you will forever have special memories of her and your time together.

    Love Karen x

    Reply

  168. Jennifer Todd
    May 21, 2012 @ 06:56:30

    Reading this, it becomes even more obvious why Ellie chose you, Tom. Your take on life, your optimism through excrutiating sadness and your sensitivity shine through. Big hugs.

    Reply

  169. Becoming herself
    May 21, 2012 @ 07:36:02

    I am so sad and so sorry to hear this horrible, horrible news. Ellie was a special person; her spirit shone and shines still.

    Reply

  170. lor
    May 21, 2012 @ 07:39:13

    my condolences to you. ithank you for taking the time to write on her blog. my sister is in hospital at the moment with liver failure./bone cancer and she has a sense of humour like Ellie. I loved her writing. thinking of you..

    Reply

  171. Sarah
    May 21, 2012 @ 07:41:45

    My heart goes out to Ellies friends and family, can’t begin to imagine how you feel. Truly thought you would get to have your beautiful day. Her words have touched & inspire me over the months & i wish our paths had crossed in life. What a gal. xxx

    Reply

  172. Nessy
    May 21, 2012 @ 07:41:46

    Today I bury you in me
    Not in the earth, not in the coffin
    Not with those trees in the morning fog
    It’s not you, you are safe in my

    Today I bury you in me
    Not with that stone there, that long line
    All those old names, as you know not
    No, today I bury you in me

    Then I can talk with you and answer
    Then keep your life in my life
    Take my eyes and watch me
    Take my feet and walk with me
    We go home to, we both
    Starting today, you live in me

    Today I bury you in me
    Will not you look where you are now
    Just stay here with us where you know everybody
    I leave your place at the table for you free

    We will laugh and then make plans
    Will sleep with you and with you wake up
    Take my mouth and smile with me
    Take my hands and feel with me
    What else you wanted to do, do I join
    Starting today, you live in me

    Get off that cross and all those white flowers
    Shred the newspaper where they call your name
    Take my eyes and watch me
    Take my heart and live with me
    Because your death is over now
    Starting today, you live in me

    Will live two lives
    With you in me

    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

    Dear Tom, i wil never forget that strong woman! And lots of ppl here wont. My thoughts are with you and the familie. Take care……

    Reply

  173. Lucy
    May 21, 2012 @ 07:45:19

    My thoughts are with you all at this very sad time Tom, Ellie was truly an inspiration and her legacy will live on. Marriage is but a piece of paper, love is everlasting xxxxx

    Reply

  174. chlhobbs
    May 21, 2012 @ 07:58:19

    Beautiful speech for an obviously beautiful girl (inside and out). I didnt even know Ellie, but she seemed so brave – as well as Tom. God Bless.x

    Reply

  175. sandra
    May 21, 2012 @ 08:09:10

    This is a message i hoped i would never see but with this disease you know the day will come for many, having watched 3 famly members suffer and die from cancer i feel for you today and always i know you willnever forget Elle she was an inspiriration to all that followed her.

    Reply

  176. Eileen
    May 21, 2012 @ 08:09:35

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful speech Tom and for letting those of us who only knew Ellie through the blog – I say only but the months that I have followed, read and shared this blog with others have been all the richer for having it. I’ll be having a rocky road today & thinking of Ellie, you, your families & friends – to have known her in person must have been special indeed xxx

    Reply

  177. Lisa
    May 21, 2012 @ 08:12:06

    I am so sorry for you loss, I always thought she would beat it as she always sounded so adamant. I loved reading her blogs a true inspiration to us all. Gone but never forgotten, take care x

    Reply

  178. Adrienne Ross (David's Mum)
    May 21, 2012 @ 08:16:20

    I am so sorry that Ellie was not able to have her special day with you. She was a remarkable person, and you were lucky to have had each other. I hope that her spirit and her love inspire you to make a success of your life in the way she would have wanted. May her memory be a blessing for you and for all her family and friends.

    Reply

  179. Mark
    May 21, 2012 @ 08:22:25

    Tom, thoughts are with you and your families. Didn’t know Ellie, but saw through her blog how she inspired so many others. Brilliant and brave. Mark B

    Reply

  180. Ingrid
    May 21, 2012 @ 08:22:41

    Dear Ellie,
    I read of your death yesterday. I just feel so sad. Although I haven’t seen you since our university days in Leeds I vividly recall your positive spirit and lovely personality. You were simlpy such a nice person. Always kind and thoughtfull, and talented too.

    Also my condolences to Tom, whom I don’t know, and your family and to your friends. I know they will misss you desperately.
    Love from Ingrid the Dane

    Reply

  181. Donna Page
    May 21, 2012 @ 08:27:39

    Tom that’s a very heartfelt speech and must have taken a lot of courage to write.
    Ellie was thenyear below me at school and her dad Keith was one of my favourite teachers. Keith supported me through my school years and would move heaven and earth to make sure I survived the day ok when inhad my family to care for as my mam lost her battle to cancer during that time. Inwill always be in his debt for the influences encouraged.
    I’ve not seen Ellie since my school days and I was in shock when I read the comments on my Facebook news page of her passing. I heard she had been poorly but when I heard the sad and devastating news of her premiture departure I was completely shocked and saddened that such a horrific thing could happen to such a young girl.
    Rest in peace Ellie. a true inspiration she has become and I am in awe of all she has achieved. Much love to you Tom and her family. You will meet again one day x

    Reply

  182. Farzana
    May 21, 2012 @ 08:27:47

    Dear Tom

    I am so deeply saddened by the news. Ellie’s blog was a source of great inspiration for me. She was the epitome of cheeriness and unfailing good humour. I pray that the Almighty grant you and the family the strength to deal with her loss. Much love and prayers all the way from South Africa, Farzana Omar

    Reply

  183. Janneke Kimstra (@JMKimstra)
    May 21, 2012 @ 08:34:15

    Dear Tom, family and friend. Even though I don’t know you and never knew Ellie, her blog made me respect her deeply for her strength and courage. I hope you all get a little comfort from the fact that she touched so many people’s lives. My thoughts are with you all.

    Reply

  184. Zambia Expat
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:01:46

    When I logged into my email account and saw the title of this blog I started crying immediately. Thanks to Ellie for her inspiring words, to be able to give us all a glimpse of how to fight this horrible disease. And much love to all her family and Tom for still being able to share her with us in this emotional time for them. x

    Reply

  185. Natalie
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:07:37

    To Tom and Ellie’s family. I have never left a comment before but have been following Ellie’s posts for some time. I lost one of my best friends to this awful disease in October 2010 less than 2 weeks after her 29th birthday so on some level I know what you are going through. I first heard about Ellie through an article in a paper and once I read her blog I was hooked as she sounded so like my friend Sue, both determined not to let the cancer define or beat them. I so wished for you to both have your amazing wedding day and am so sad to learn that this was so cruelly taken away from a truly inspirational couple. I would like to think that my friend Sue is showing Ellie the ropes and providing a much needed glass of wine. Much love to you all allbeit from a stranger and hold the amazing Ellie in your hearts forever. xx

    Reply

  186. Rachel
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:10:09

    So sorry for your loss…..her memory will live on through all the lives that she touched with her writing! Life can be cruel but she is now at peace in a place where cancer can cause her no more pain………. RIP Ellie – a true inspiration xx

    Reply

  187. Ann
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:12:05

    Dear Tom, I’ve just come upon your very sad news about Ellie – I know there will never be any words from me to help you come to terms with such a lovely lady – your whole future was with Ellie. I read all her blogs but often just ‘read’ as I couldn’t think of anything constructive to make Ellie feel better. Thank you for sharing your raw grief about Ellie – who knows, maybe she’s with your father now. God bless you and your family, I wish you all the strength in the world to cope with each hour/day of your lives at this sad moment of loss. You will never forget Ellie, yes she is a part of you and it would be nice to see your photos and share a part of Ellie and Tom’s journey together. I wish you peace and hope you don’t mind me calling you Tom – that’s what Ellie called you and I felt as if I knew you. I too feel sad today now I’ve learned about Ellie so I’m going to kick my ass and be thankful for my own vulnerable life in her memory. Ann

    Reply

  188. Karen
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:20:09

    So sorry to hear the sad news. My thoughts are with you and your family.

    Reply

  189. Gemma
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:22:14

    Tom, I am so so very sorry to hear of Ellie’s passing, that wonderful young lady was an inspiration. My thoughts are with you xx

    Reply

  190. Magda
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:22:55

    Tom, I’m so sorry for your loss.. My thoughts are with your and Ellie’s family. Love. Magda.

    Reply

  191. Ash
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:24:07

    Tom & Ellie’s family, tears are falling fast & I never even knew this Inspiring lady! I am truly sorry for your loss. God bless you and comfort you all through these sad days.

    Reply

  192. Nicola
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:26:14

    I started reading Ellie’s blog after an article in Daily Mail I cant remember when that was but needless to say every day I would get into work and click in my history and onto the link to see how Ellie was doing and also what she was doing, the beauty of it was that her life didnt revolve around cancer nor did it stop as a result of it. She is an inspiration to so many people who have cancer, people who have been touched by it and even more than that (the very few) people who have no link to it whatsoever becuase she showed hope when there was none, she showed resiliance and positivity when so many other people would just accept what they were being told and that translates past cancer and really brings meaning into life. I hope she realises what she has achieved by doing this blog becuase it really has been amazing what she’s done for so many people including myself. I hope Tom you can try and live as happy a life as you can considering the circumstances and be reassured that Ellie is with you in spirit. She has touched my life and im sure im not the only person to say that and feel a little ridiculous becuase ive never met her but its true – my thoughts are with you Tom and both of your families x

    Reply

  193. JennyB
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:26:34

    Tom, you are very brave writing on this blog n I’m sure ellie would be very proud of you n your strength. I’m so sorry for your lost, although I didn’t know Ellie, I know people who did including my husband who went to school with her and we have been so touched by her blog!

    RIP Ellie xx

    Reply

  194. Laura S
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:29:37

    Dear Tom, I am so sorry for your loss. Ellie was a rare thing, an inspiration and a beautiful soul. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family and friends.

    Reply

  195. Heather MacQueen
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:39:59

    This is just so sad. I felt numb reading this and still do. What a wonderful women she was, so brave. A cruel blow so such a young soul. My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and her family. x

    Reply

  196. cathryn holness
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:40:56

    This is the post I didn’t want to read. So sorry Tom to you all
    all on your loss. Ellies strength and character have been an inspiration
    to me. Thinking of you all xx

    Reply

  197. Gemma Smith
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:46:24

    God bless Ellie! Sweet dreams.
    My thoughts go out to tom and your family. I didnt know you but you will be in my heart always.
    May your spirit live on forever.xx

    Reply

  198. Lisa Facey
    May 21, 2012 @ 09:50:57

    Dear Tom, I’m struggling with this and I didn’t even know Ellie, I only followed her on this blog. I’m so sorry for yours and your family’s loss, you were all very lucky to have known and shared the life of someone so beautiful inside and out and I feel privileged that she shared her journey with me through this blog.
    My thoughts are with you all

    Reply

  199. Karen
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:11:51

    God bless you.

    Reply

  200. Bill Miller
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:12:10

    I am desparately, desparately sorry to hear this sad news…my thoughts are with you Tom and all of yours and Ellies family.

    Reply

  201. Marguerite
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:15:12

    Like everyone here I am heartbroken that Ellie is gone. Tom, I just wanted you to know that Ellie’s writing has changed forever the way I think about and interact with patients (I’m a junior doctor) and that it might give you a tiny scrap of solace to know that the thousands of patients I see in my lifetime will all be a bit better off because she decided to share her amazing writing.

    Reply

  202. Hannah Rose
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:16:42

    Dear Tom & Ellie’s Family.
    I have followed Ellie’s blog for a long while, and had hoped, like so many that she would make it to the day in which you were man and wife… her optimism and relentless enthusiasm to not give up was so inspiring to many – Cancer sufferers or not.
    I hope that you find a small amount of joy in reading all these lovely messages people have left, going to prove that she touched people from all over the world with her battle – And i for one won’t forget her in a rush.
    Love and best wishes – Hannah x

    Reply

  203. Jennieflorist
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:17:19

    Dear Tom, I started reading Ellies’s blog by sheer fluke when Kylie Minogue retweeted one of her post’s, I followed and read every post since. Ellie inspired so many people and her blog was the most inspirational read. I am so sorry for your loss, such sad news, my thoughts are with you and both of your families. Ellie will remain in all of are thoughts and stay forever young. Xxxx

    Reply

  204. Claire
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:18:19

    My heart aches for you right now, I’m so sorry for your loss and so saddened that such a bright light has gone out. I pray that Ellie is at peace and that you and your family find solace together. God bless xxx

    Reply

  205. Erin Simons
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:19:37

    So beautifully written Tom and a great credit to Ellie. A beautiful, inspiring person who will be long remembered. Already missing your smiling face Ellie! Be strong xx

    Reply

  206. animalsnotingredients
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:23:33

    I’ve followed Ellie’s posts now for a while and each time I felt compelled to comment but never did fearing I had nothing of value to say, nothing that could help. I wish I had now.
    So, to Tom and Ellie’s family, I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that the knowledge that Ellie touched so many lives and reached into the homes and hearts of people she has never met gives you some comfort. All my thoughts and love are with you. xxxx

    Reply

  207. ladyleftfieldlover
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:29:30

    RIP Ellie.
    To Tom and Ellie’s family, my heartfelt condolences.
    This was the news I didn’t want to hear.
    You were both such an inspiration.
    xxx

    Reply

  208. Maggie Taylor
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:30:38

    Tom,

    No words can express the sadness and sorrow I felt when read your post this morning. One that I really didn’t want to see. Although I didn’t know Ellie I have been inspired by what she wrote. Her attitude in trying to beat this horrible disease was truely admirable. You should be very proud that she choose you to spend the rest of her life with. Always remember her with pride and love. She was truely a very special lady.

    RIP Ellie. Sweet dreams in heaven.

    Reply

  209. MH
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:33:09

    So sorry for your loss. What a beautiful post you have written. I bet Ellie heard every single last word of your lovely speech and she was as proud as punch.

    Take care, keep us updated xx

    Reply

  210. Joy
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:33:10

    I’m crying as I read this. It’s the post I never wanted to see. I really feel for you, Tom. Thank you so much for sharing the news so soon after losing Ellie. I never knew her, like many people following her blog, and yet she was an inspiration to me. I too have secondary breast cancer and Ellie’s fight has given me hope in a bleak situation. I did the MooonWalk in London last weekend and thought of her all the way round. I’m so sorry she didn’t make her wedding. But nobody can take away her dreams of that perfect day. Thinking of you so much and remembering you in my prayers. Lots of love, Joyx

    Reply

  211. Robyn
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:40:37

    I never met Ellie, but she seamed a lot like someone I would know. I guess that must be her personality Jedi powers working ;). How amazing to be so loved by and so inspiring to so many people. I, and I’m sure many others, will live my life better for having seen how well she lived and loved hers. I’m so very, very sorry you did not have all the life together you both deserved. She will always be in my thoughts.

    Reply

  212. reflectionsonawastedlife
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:40:40

    I’m lost for words really. Ellie has been an inspiration to me. I have silently followed her blog for over 10 months, since my own diagnosis. I will continue to read her blog, over and over again to remind me of how strong she has been, and to never give up the fight. Love to Tom and all her family and friends. I’ll miss you Ellie x

    Reply

  213. Becki
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:46:55

    Dear Tom

    I wish there was something, anything, we could say or do that would make you feel even a little bit better than you do right now.

    Ellie would be SOOO proud of you right now. You loved and had someone incredible in your life and as much as it hurts now you are both incredibly lucky to have found eachother.

    Ellie had a zest for life, a get up and get on with life attitude and it is soo sad she is no longer here.

    I send my thoughts and best wishes to you and to the rest of Ellie’s family and friends. Take care all of you. xx

    Reply

  214. lorly
    May 21, 2012 @ 10:58:59

    Tom,
    I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Ellie since I read yesterday that she had passed, so to look on and see your truly beautiful post was heartwarming and touching. Your time with Ellie will sustain you and encourage you throughout the tough times, and you will face the grief by walking through it with her not so far away. She would be so proud of what you have just done, by sharing your thoughts with everyone, despite the grief you must be feeling. I just wanted you to know that she touched so many people, me included, and I never met her, was just touched by her lovely inspirational words.
    I can only hope to be half the journalist she was, succeeding in touching so many people in such a short time,she will always be with you,
    lorly xxx

    Reply

  215. Becca White
    May 21, 2012 @ 11:02:30

    I first saw Ellie’s blog on the Daily Mail and was so moved by the fantastic person Ellie was and always will be that I followed her regularly. I am so saddened this morning. I am thinking of you Tom, and all Ellie’s family and friends. What a wonderful person and I didn’t even know her. I will continue to be inspired by her optimism and hope that you all find comfort from her amazing legacy.
    Becca x

    Reply

  216. LINDA ANN McCREA
    May 21, 2012 @ 11:04:12

    *To see the world in a grain of sand, and Heaven in a wildflower.

    Hold infinity in the palm of your hand and Eternity in an hour *.

    Dear Tom,
    So sorry that YOUR dearest Ellie has lost her battle with the disease that ravished and racked her beautiful body . I hope the above header analogy does not offend but offers hope in some small measure
    Please accept my most sincere CONDOLENCES to you Tom and of course Ellie`s family plus her & your wide circle of friends .
    I am forever grateful for the time I spent reading and writing comments on her blog -Written Off .She was dynamic, courageous & ever so beautiful .
    I feel privileged to have communicated with beautiful Ellie via her blog and deemed her as an on line friend. Such a wonderful girl who at Christmas wrote a reply to each and every person who had left goodwill messages and comments.That was the measure of this lovely girl .
    Tom you are STALWART and I often included your name at top of my response as I perceived you were such an integral and unique part of her life .As a retired nurse,I often felt very angry at the treatment and poor attitude meted out to ELLIE during her illness.Therefore, it was with joy I read in your entry just how nice the NURSES AND TEAM were to Ellie and you all in St James `s .
    Thank you for your thoughtfulness in taking time out during this dark and sad time to inform all us blog readers of darling Ellie`s passing .Your Wedding speech was amazing & I`m quite convinced that your DEAREST BEAUTIFUL ELLIE heard & cherished each and every word ,intonation ,joke ,pause etc .
    I shall remember you Tom plus Ellie`s parents and siblings in prayer frequently and hope somehow you all shall be sustained by a higher Power thru `this bleak and sorrowful time .My sympathies I extend to your Mum too,who has lost her beautiful daughter-in -law to be .
    Penned with sincere sadness and regret for your unfathomable and irrreplaceable loss .To Ellie a precious, angel loaned to earth and now with Jesus .Love&Blessings always From
    Linda Ann McCrea BELFAST .

    Reply

  217. Dee Hart
    May 21, 2012 @ 11:24:10

    Words just dont seem enough to respond to this, yet it was words that brought me in to Ellies world. I have followed her blog , then twitter and missed her over the weekend , I found out the very sad news last night. Like all the other readers, I was willing her with every fibre of my being to have her wedding and to live the dream.
    I am so very sorry that you had to write this post, if there is any way you can take strength from all of us, I would hope that you do that. She will always be remembered, I never met her but like so many I felt that I knew a little of her and I really really liked her.
    May her gentle soul rest in peace

    Reply

  218. imkethielemann
    May 21, 2012 @ 11:30:58

    Dear Tom, Ellie’s family and friends; my deepest condolences. You are in my heart and thoughts at this difficult time.

    Dear Ellie, I’ve never met you in person, but living not far from Brixton myself I always wondered where and how you were and what to say to you if we should ever meet on the tube or bus. I came to reading your blog after reading your article in Grazia and you have been in my thoughts and prayers ever since. I am so sad to read this last post and can’t believe how unfair live can be. You where truly an inspiration. Lots of Love xxx

    Reply

  219. Hannah
    May 21, 2012 @ 11:35:28

    All Is Well

    Death is nothing at all,
    I have only slipped into the next room
    I am I and you are you
    Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
    Call me by my old familiar name,
    Speak to me in the easy way which you always used
    Put no difference in your tone,
    Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
    Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
    Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
    Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
    Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
    Life means all that it ever meant.
    It it the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.
    Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
    I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,
    Just around the corner.
    All is well.

    By Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)

    Reply

  220. beverley hewitson
    May 21, 2012 @ 11:35:34

    Tom, I have just read this post with great sadness, I never had the pleasure of meeting Ellie but from reading her emails you build up a picture of the person, strong, determined, positive, amazing and most definitely in love. A true loss, an angel gone too soon. Gain strength in the fact that her spirit will always be with you. Much love and sincere condolences.

    Bev, Darlington, Co. Durham

    Reply

  221. Dave Hollingdale
    May 21, 2012 @ 11:37:40

    Now then Young Tom. Life is sometimes so sad and downright bloody unfair. Lucky enough to have reached 65 and I have never read a blog until I was introduced to Ellie’s which I found incredibly brave and moving. No words of mine can do any of you justice. Your pain Tom won’t go away but as time passes it will ease just a little.
    Your Ellie was something else Tom a remarkable young Lady. In her writing she gave and gave to others and any reader will be richer from reading such thoughts and emotions.
    God Bless you All.
    Take Care Dave

    Reply

  222. Sadie
    May 21, 2012 @ 11:40:19

    Tom, I am so sad to hear the sad news about Ellie, I was praying she would make it to her wedding. She sounded like a wonderful person and I thoroughly enjoyed reading her blogs, she was so upbeat all the time. Its great to know that she spent her final years with you, you were the perfect match both in looks and characters and to know how much you cherished her would have meant the world to her and helped her face her demons. Take care, Anela xxx

    Reply

  223. LynDee, Malaysia
    May 21, 2012 @ 11:55:58

    I am looking forward for new entry from Ellie every other day since I followed this blog last year, not long after the blog has started. I was so happy to see finally after so many days i see a new entry but the First sentence in the this post immediately stopped me from reading n i kept repeating the first sentence to see if im reading it wrongly. Condolences, but i guess Ellie was never giving up on her life and i hope Tom, n the rest of the family members have gathered every pieces together and go on with Ellie’s spirit. She will always in my thoughts. Take care.

    Reply

  224. Sarah
    May 21, 2012 @ 11:58:55

    So very, very sorry to hear this sad news. R.I.P. Ellie. You were a truly inspirational person. x

    Reply

  225. Liza-Jane
    May 21, 2012 @ 12:11:19

    God bless xxxx

    Reply

  226. Hayley
    May 21, 2012 @ 12:12:58

    So sorry for your loss Tom. This was a beautiful post and made me wish I’d known Ellie. I don’t know you or Ellie’s family and friends, but I am thinking of all of you suffering in grief and sending love, love and love.

    Reply

  227. Jamie
    May 21, 2012 @ 12:21:04

    Hi Tom, so upset to hear last week about the sad news. I worked with Ellie at ITN (EJ to us) and not only was she simply brilliant at her job but an amazing and wonderful person who got along with everyone (quite a rarity in the newsroom!). The blog was truly inspirational and your speech was very touching too. I feel immensely privileged to have known EJ and you could tell from her posts how strong a bond there was between you both. I was equally inspired reading of your strength and courage during a hugely difficult time and my thoughts are with you and the rest of her family right now. Know that those people who’s lives were touched by Ellie, no matter how briefly, will never ever forget her.

    Reply

  228. Seraphina Smith
    May 21, 2012 @ 12:23:44

    A beautiful post, Tom – I’m sure Ellie would be delighted that you’ve taken the time to do this as, indeed, are we all. Thank you. Lots of love to all of you.

    Reply

  229. Hannah
    May 21, 2012 @ 12:53:41

    I am a good friend of Miffy’s and have been hearing about Eliie’s ups and downs over the last couple of years. Whilst I never met Ellie, she has been in my thoughts often. I just wanted to offer my sincere condolences to you, Ellie’s family and friends. I hope that the number of people who have and, no doubt will, comment on your moving blog post, offers some comfort to you as it shows just how much so many people thought of her. She was one determined lady and lived with hope right up until the end – a fine example to us all.

    Take Care,
    Hannah
    x

    Reply

  230. Muffy
    May 21, 2012 @ 13:11:29

    So many condolences to you, Tom, and to the rest of Ellie’s family. Can’t quite believe it. What a fighter Ellie was, right until the end. An unbelievable loss xxxx

    Reply

  231. Anna W
    May 21, 2012 @ 13:11:46

    Dear Tom I am so sorry to hear about Ellie’s death. She responded to a post I sent months ago as I too am getting married in a few weeks so know what a wonderful time this can be yet here you are, feeling anything but. Ellie clearly drew so many positives from what you shared and that gave her a reason to fight. I hope that you can take some comfort in that; you are clearly a very special man.
    Anna xx

    Reply

  232. Hannah
    May 21, 2012 @ 13:28:36

    Utterly heartbreaking for a young woman to die so sadly. Ellie was an inspiration. Since coming across her blog, I have been determined to cram as much into my life as possible. Rest in peace, Ellie.

    Reply

  233. Kimberley
    May 21, 2012 @ 13:43:09

    Dear Tom,

    I’m so very sorry that you have lost your Ellie. I have been following Ellie’s posts for the last few months and logged in frequently to see how she was doing.
    I am due to get married in 2 weeks and I often wondered how your wedding plans were coming along. I am truly saddened that you won’t get to have the special you were both planning. I’ll raise a toast to Ellie’s memory on my special day.

    kimberley xxx

    Reply

  234. Joanna
    May 21, 2012 @ 13:47:52

    Rest in Peace Ellie, you were a true inspiration to us all. xxx

    Joanna

    Reply

  235. Kathryn
    May 21, 2012 @ 13:57:32

    Dear Tom & Ellie,
    I’m not even sure how I came across Ellie’s blog. I live in Brisbane, Australia and I came across her blog somehow and just kept reading because she made me laugh and I loved her resilience. I guess I’m one of the silent audience who really appreciated what a brave and wonderful person she is. I read about her passing this morning, in bed, with my husband. And I cried, like I am doing now. And he didn’t know about this blog I read, and then he cried. Because he loves me and I love him and we understand how much this must hurt. I love that people like Ellie and yourself share how good life is, and how it’s good to swear at things, and it’s good to love what you have.
    Kathryn xx

    Reply

  236. Jane G
    May 21, 2012 @ 13:59:18

    So terribly saddened to hear about Ellie. Thinking of you all x

    Reply

  237. Chris Pearce
    May 21, 2012 @ 14:00:00

    No words can take away the pain you must be feeling but take comfort that Ellie provided so much inspiration, hope and comfort to so many. I was at Leeds Uni with Ellie and whilst we didn’t talk that much it was clear that she was a talented future journalist, intelligent and kind. You’ll see her again when the time comes. Much love to Tom, Ellie’s family friends. R.I.P Ellie. One in a Billion.

    Reply

  238. Jane Jackson
    May 21, 2012 @ 14:02:51

    We truly hope that Tom and the rest of Ellie’s family can draw some comfort eventually at having known and loved someone who was so brave and inspirational. It’s a tragic loss of a beautiful young woman who deserved so much. Our thoughts are with you. Jane & Roy

    Reply

  239. Connie, Brisbane
    May 21, 2012 @ 14:04:54

    Tom – what can I possibly say that others before me have not already said. So terribly sad. A sad loss and sad too and a hard road ahead for you Tom. Thank you for sharing your Ellie with us.

    Reply

  240. caseyfa1064
    May 21, 2012 @ 14:11:20

    Godspeed Ellie. I was truly saddened to hear of your loss Tom. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and her family.

    Reply

  241. barbara
    May 21, 2012 @ 14:14:08

    Such sad news.A life lost too early.Thinking about you and all Ellie’s family and friends.Do publish her blog.

    Reply

  242. Sandy Warr .
    May 21, 2012 @ 14:21:30

    This must have been so hard for you to write..thank you for having the courage to share your pain and I hope the love and support that flows back to you from this page and from all the people around you will be some little measure of comfort. Ellie’s blog and her spirit have been – and will continue to be – a comfort to many many people who never met her – especially those battling this terrible condition. She touched many lives and thats a wonderful legacy .

    Reply

  243. Ntokozo
    May 21, 2012 @ 14:26:37

    I am so sad, I was close to tears when I read this email this morning. So sorry for you Tom, but Ellie is in a better place now & free from all the pain she had endure, be strong & you have an angel watching over you now.

    Reply

  244. Nilly
    May 21, 2012 @ 14:31:55

    So sad to hear the news about Ellie. I have been following her blog religiously. My husband is 34 and on the same journey as Ellie was, and somehow reading her blog made me feel as if we were less alone. I’m so sorry that you didn’t get to have the wedding day that you were both planning but as you say you didn’t need a ceremony to validate anything.

    Reply

  245. Lucky
    May 21, 2012 @ 14:45:51

    I had followed Ellie for a long time through her blog, and through twitter. I feared the worst when she went quiet. She was amazing to read and so very perceptive.

    My favorite blog was when she told the cancer she was getting a bit pissed off with and would it just f off.

    I hope that you will be ok Tom, and that her family and friends find strength also. Please do put her words in a book. The only way to beat this horrible disease is to keep raising money. I am running race for life this year for my dad (rip) and my mum (4 years clear). And now for Ellie. x

    Reply

  246. Jan
    May 21, 2012 @ 14:46:48

    Hello Tom,

    Having been unwell myself this last month I had not shared Ellies blog, so when I read it today I was so shocked it actually took my breath away. You are both wonderful, inspirational human beings, and, as you say all who came into contact with Ellie fell in love with her. Her sense of humour throughout her illness was wicked , and made me laugh out loud. Thank you for having the courage to write what must have been a painful blog, but also I hope a cathartic one too. Ellie touched all our hearts and the one thing that shone out like a beacon was her love for you. My thoughts are with you and all of your families.
    Jan x

    Reply

  247. Aideen
    May 21, 2012 @ 14:59:26

    When I read the first line of your blog, I felt I had been punched in the stomach. I am so sorry Tom. I lost my friend, Lou just over a year ago to cancer and her battle was just so similar to what Ellie went through. Its cruel and unfair but most of all, its just unbelievable! I started to follow Ellie’s blog shortly just after Lou died and Ellie, like Lou always thought she would beat this god awful disease! Why couldn’t that have been true for both of them.

    Reply

  248. India
    May 21, 2012 @ 15:06:38

    Dear Tom & Ellie’s family
    So sad to hear your awful news this morning my thoughts are with you all. I started following Ellie’s blog a few months ago, so many people young and old are dying of this terrible disease. Having read Ellie’s blog it has made me view life differently and I know she has touched so many people, I wish I could have known her what a brave person she was.
    India x

    Reply

  249. Kim
    May 21, 2012 @ 15:22:18

    I was stunned to read that she has died. i really thought she would get to have her big day. She was so lucky to have you in her life too though, you sound like an amazing person as well. Man life really sucks sometimes.

    Reply

  250. Marie
    May 21, 2012 @ 15:25:51

    Ellie, you were special. You changed the way I look at life. You made me grateful for what I have and made me want to go after the things I wanted. You taught me what real love looks like. You gave me the nudge I needed to stop smoking (a small thing, but my friends and family are grateful). You and Tom were and still are, special. Tom, my thoughts are with you. People can live on in others memories, Ellie does. I think of her all the time. xx

    Reply

  251. Marianna
    May 21, 2012 @ 15:40:51

    My heartfelt condolences to you and your families. You will be re-united one day.
    M.x

    Reply

  252. Joanne Surman
    May 21, 2012 @ 16:33:42

    Tom, my condolences to you and the family, what a hard piece to write but you did ellie’s blog justice and ended it with a fabulous tearjerking speech, hope you carry her spirit with you always x

    Reply

  253. Laura
    May 21, 2012 @ 16:40:58

    Tom,
    I read your post this morning regarding Ellie. I have been in the position you are in now three times and yet I still am at a loss as to what to say. I started reading the blog last November and read all of Ellie’s previous posts. She was a true inspiration and I can only hope that if I am ever in that situation that I can be as stong an individual as she was. A real fighter and a sad loss of an incredible person. Laura x

    Reply

  254. Esthera Cotoarba
    May 21, 2012 @ 16:49:50

    My condolences to you, your families and your friends. I started reading Ellie’s blog after her interview in the Daily Mail and started to log in on WordPress just for the sake of her blogs. Her optimism, her humor, her determinance to keep on going no matter what were truly inspiring, thank you for letting her invest so much time in her virtual family. I wish you strength, hope, peace!

    Reply

  255. Nicky
    May 21, 2012 @ 16:55:38

    Such sad news. My thoughts are with you and Ellies family.
    Ellie inspired those of us living with cancer to fight for the life we have and love. We will continue that fight – and everyone one of us that wins the battle will do so in the name of all those who weren’t so lucky. RIP Ellie.

    Reply

  256. Bernine
    May 21, 2012 @ 16:57:15

    Like the ripples in a pond, the work of one person can spread out and touch the lives of many others.
    Ellie most definitely touched my life even though I only knew her through this blog. So very sad to hear of Ellie’s death, be strong Tom, you have some of the most wonderful memories of a remarkable young lady.

    Reply

  257. Emma birchley
    May 21, 2012 @ 16:59:10

    Such heartbreaking news. Ellie was a true inspiration and achieved so much in sharing her experiences. Love to you all as you cope with such a dreadful loss.x

    Reply

  258. mart007
    May 21, 2012 @ 17:21:27

    Terrible news, thoughts are with you and the families at this tough time. Ellie seemed an amazing girl, and the world is worse off without her.
    RIP
    xx

    Reply

  259. andrew newton
    May 21, 2012 @ 17:21:45

    this was the post i never wanted to read. ellie has enriched my life and broadened my understanding through her writing in so many different ways. i am thankful to her for this and so pleased she has shared her thoughts with me through this medium. i hope, tom, you can see how ellie has helped others beyond your immediate understanding and you can be thankful for the all too brief time she spent in this world with you.

    Reply

  260. Laurel
    May 21, 2012 @ 17:56:05

    I have followed her through many months and this was not something i ever contemplating writing about, so sad for someone this young. RIP Ellie,

    Reply

  261. Joanna Smith
    May 21, 2012 @ 17:56:57

    I’m so very sorry to hear this news. I saw the new title and felt my usual cheer, – hurray a new blog from the eternally upbeat Ellie!
    Now I am completely pole-axed.
    We never met but goodbye dear friend, I am going to miss you. My thoughts and prayers are with Tom and the rest of your family x

    Reply

  262. Nat
    May 21, 2012 @ 18:01:32

    Much love to you Tom and to Ellie’s family- what a special lady. Very very sad xx

    Reply

  263. Heather Porter
    May 21, 2012 @ 18:13:37

    I’ve been thinking of you and Ellie all day since reading your post this morning – I was hoping the silence was due to your holiday or wedding plans taking over…sadly I was wrong. Many of us will live our lives just that little bit fuller in memory of her fighting spirit that she portrayed so valiantly in her writing… A beautiful girl taken too soon. Thinking of you and your families.

    Reply

  264. Susan
    May 21, 2012 @ 18:17:43

    Admire your bravery and courage to be able to write this with such grace and integrity when you must be truly heartbroken…my heartfelt sympathy.

    Reply

  265. Lynn
    May 21, 2012 @ 18:40:14

    Very sad to hear this news. What an amazing woman your Ellie was. Deepest condolences to you all x x

    Reply

  266. Rae
    May 21, 2012 @ 18:43:07

    I don’t know what to say. I’ve been following Ellie’s blog since the beginning. I’m not even sure how I found her, but her words immediately drew me in. I honestly never expected to hear of her passing – her spirit seemed so strong that I was sure she would beat this. I never got the privilege of meeting her in person, but here I am at work with tears welling in my eyes anyway. She was a beautiful person, and it sounds like you were both blessed to have each other. I’m glad she had someone who loved her so much right to the end.

    Reply

  267. laura
    May 21, 2012 @ 18:48:36

    I am so sorry for your loss, tom. I can only imagine the sadness and upset I felt that you both didn’t make the wedding day Ellie so eagerly anticipated has been magnified by an immeasurable factor. You, ellie’s family and ellie’s friends have all been so incredibly brave over the last few months. Ellie will never be forgotten.

    With love x.

    Reply

  268. laylalayla
    May 21, 2012 @ 19:10:42

    So, so sorry. Her words will live forever.

    Reply

  269. Christina (Athens)
    May 21, 2012 @ 19:10:53

    Tom,
    I never wanted to read this post. I had hoped for a miracle for Ellie (as i hope for a miracle for myself). But then you see that life is not fair… Such a caring, sharing person, she will not be forgotten. For the rest of us who are still here, we have a responsibility toward her and others who have passed away to make the most of the life we have. It must be so hard on you, to those left behind but remember she wants you to be happy, to make the most, to remember her..and eventually to move on. One step at a time.

    Dear Tom,

    Take care

    Love

    Christina

    Reply

  270. Helen
    May 21, 2012 @ 19:18:47

    Hi Tom I’m so sorry to hear about Ellie, I have been following her blog for a while and never failed to recognise her fighting spirit. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

    Reply

  271. JAYNE TUCKWOOD
    May 21, 2012 @ 19:19:24

    Very sorry to Have to read this blog Tom, a blog that must of been very hard for you do do. Very Sad that ellie did not make her big day. She is free of pain now,and with the angels. Jayne x

    Reply

  272. carol nurse
    May 21, 2012 @ 19:21:08

    Ellie was a beautiful and lovely young lady she touched all our hearts thinking of you all at this very sad time love from your relatives in cambridge nurse family and kieraxx

    Reply

  273. ali p
    May 21, 2012 @ 19:32:28

    To Tom, Ellies family and her numerous friends, iv been following Ellies blog since she first started writing it, and her strength and hope shone out to me. She may be gone, but she sure as hell won’t be forgotten, she is out of pain now and at peace. God bless her, RIP Ellie and sleep tight xxx

    Reply

  274. Aileen Emily
    May 21, 2012 @ 19:40:21

    Into the freedom of wind and sunshine
    We let you go
    Into the dance of the stars and the planets
    We let you go
    Into the wind’s breath and the hands of the star maker
    We let you go
    We love you, we miss you, we want you to be happy
    Go safely, go dancing, go running home

    Reply

  275. Carol
    May 21, 2012 @ 19:52:17

    I am so sad to hear this news, words fail.

    Her strength and enthusiam shone through in every word she wrote and many people, me included, followed her journey with hope and faith. I am sorry that we have read the post that we never wanted to read, but thank you for letting us know.

    She was an inspiration to all of us.

    Reply

  276. Clare
    May 21, 2012 @ 20:07:49

    To Ellie, a truly amazing & inspirational person. To Tom, my heart bleeds for you.

    You can shed tears that she is gone,
    or you can smile because she has lived.
    You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back,
    or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.
    Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her,
    or you can be full of the love you shared.
    You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
    or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
    You can remember her only that she is gone,
    or you can cherish her memory & let it live on.
    You can cry and close your mind,
    be empty and turn your back.
    Or you can do what she’d want:
    smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

    Reply

  277. Sally
    May 21, 2012 @ 20:11:30

    Tom , most people never find a love so sincere and true in a whole lifetime as you both found with each other ! You were both truly blessed to have shared you’re lives together and found the love of your life as she did with you .
    Sweet dreams Ellie , you have touched a lot of strangers life’s In a way you could never have known , that is a very rare gift and testament to what an amazing human being you were . Xx

    Reply

  278. agentme
    May 21, 2012 @ 20:13:56

    This is the first time I’m encountering this blog, but it’s touched me. RIP Ellie, judging from the comments alone your words inspired people around the world. You & your family are in my thoughts and prayers tonight.

    Reply

  279. animalsnotingredients
    May 21, 2012 @ 20:17:34

    All my thoughts and love are with you. x

    Reply

  280. Leigh
    May 21, 2012 @ 20:36:19

    I have been following Ellie since that amazing article in the newspaper. I kept checking her blog this month and started feeling very fearful that something was not quite right. I am so sorry for your loss and only hope that time can heal….She will never be forgotten and her work in raising awareness is one of the many legacies she leaves…..

    Xxxxx

    Reply

  281. JN
    May 21, 2012 @ 20:36:58

    Have just read about Ellie c/o facebook and friends of friends. I worked with Ellie’s dad for 30 years and at some time taught Sarah, John and Ellie, all great kids and worth knowing. I know the kids meant so much to Keith and Chris and as dad and now grandad, I know or think i do, just how they are feeling. My thoughts are with all close friends and family- look back to the good times and try to take something from all the kind words written on here.

    Reply

  282. Katie hammond
    May 21, 2012 @ 20:54:10

    I am so so very sad to read this and want to let you know that you and all Ellie’s loved ones are in my thoughts. In all Ellie’s posts the sheer love that the two of you shared shone through so brightly, I’m just so sad for you both that you didn’t have a much longer lifetime together to live that love together. Take care of yourself.

    Reply

  283. Ailsa
    May 21, 2012 @ 21:06:22

    So very sorry. So very sad. Ellie was and is an inspiration to us all. Hoping that you’re getting all the support and comfort you need Tom. xx

    Reply

  284. B
    May 21, 2012 @ 21:06:53

    Tom, I too lost a soul-mate and life partner to cancer so I know your utter pain and wretchedness. I am so sorry you lost Ellie. I can only tell you that although time doesn’t heal, it does – eventually – teach you how to live alongside the pain and it makes the memories mellow. You will feel so terrible now, but you WILL get stronger. Reach out to others in your situation: they are there. You will get through this.

    Reply

  285. Tina
    May 21, 2012 @ 21:11:00

    Tom, I am so sorry for your loss. I was so sad to hear this news.
    There are not enough words to express what Ellie was and what she meant to everyone a courageous, amazing , inspiring lady. I feel privledge and honoured to read her blog. I think its a wonderful idea to publish her blog. Her memory will live on forever you were both blessed to have found a unique special love together. Look after yourself Tom. I am sure Ellie will be looking down on you for ever. Sending love to you and all Ellie’s family you are in my thoughts. xxx

    Reply

  286. Melissa (chrissa's friend)
    May 21, 2012 @ 21:16:42

    Much love to you and your families. We just lost my mums eldest and youngest sisters to cancer last week, two in one week. Ellie is in peace now, no more suffering and I believe she will always be with you. The bond you had was clearly strong and beautiful … It will remain so. Love m x

    Reply

  287. dawn
    May 21, 2012 @ 21:17:08

    Oh, such dreadful, sad news Tom. I’m so so sorry for your loss.
    I’ve followed Ellies blog from the start and have been inspired by her words and spirit. I can’t believe that she’s been taken so suddenly.
    Life is so unfair Tom.
    I hope that you and her family will take comfort from your memories and knowing that that she reached out to and connected with many people through her blog.
    Ellie’s words will live on forever and as a fellow cancer patient, I will always be grateful to her for that and will remember her courage always.
    Please know that you are all in my thoughts.
    R.I.P. beautiful Ellie x

    Reply

  288. suzanne hankin
    May 21, 2012 @ 21:24:31

    Completely devastated for you and so sorry. Been following Ellie’s story, she was an inspiration. Strange? but 10 minutes before I read this I had just signed up to do the 10 race for life for the mcmillan cancer. something I have nver done.. Although I never met Ellie I wil l dedicate this to her with my family (lost loved ones to family) x be strong x so hard for you at this time x

    Reply

  289. Lucy
    May 21, 2012 @ 21:25:35

    RIP Ellie. I have followed the blog since it began and hand on heart I thought she was going to be okay. She was truly inspirational. Her strength, humour and determination were unfailing and she could teach us all a thing or two. Love to you all x

    Reply

  290. Lianne Snelson
    May 21, 2012 @ 21:28:12

    I am so saddened to read this blog…Ellie sounded an amazing person, a huge loss to all that love her…my thoughts are with you x

    Reply

  291. Rose
    May 21, 2012 @ 21:28:12

    I have been following Ellie’s blog for a year and thought she was truly inspirational. I thought about her a lot and was so hopeful that she would make it. The book sounds like a lovely idea and a way to remember her legacy xx

    Reply

  292. John Chaytor
    May 21, 2012 @ 21:42:03

    I am so, so sad for your loss. I’ve read this blog from the start and always hoped for the best for the both of you.

    You said: “While we desperately wanted to marry each other, we didn’t need any old ceremony to validate our love.”

    That is true love. You both knew it. You both felt it.

    Reply

  293. Lauren zazzera
    May 21, 2012 @ 21:43:40

    Hello Tom
    I am so sorry to hear of Ellie’s passing I have followed her blog for the last year and I have always found Ellie had great humour in such a desperate situation . I was so interested in Ellie’s story because my sister had a very similar story she had grade 4 breast cancer which spread to her liver and brain , my sister defied the doctors prediction and lived longer than they expected through sheer determination , she passed away in November last year, she was 37 . I have no advice for you because I’m still battling to get my life back together but I hope you get comfort from your friends and family and support from all the people who knew what a wonderful brave and beautiful woman Ellie was , take care of yourself will be thinking about you xx

    Reply

  294. Julie Nichols
    May 21, 2012 @ 21:59:06

    I am so sorry for your loss Tom and for Ellie’s family. I did not know Ellie personally, but followed her blog. I thought about her often and hoped and prayed that she would beat this horrible disease. Her humor, strength, and optimism will be things I will remember always. I watched the same combination of chemo leave my father with nothing left. He could fight no more. He needed morphine like Ellie and I believe that he heard us comforting him as I believe Ellie heard you Tom. I wish you both could have experienced your wedding day but as you say, you were already intertwined. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Reply

  295. Cate
    May 21, 2012 @ 22:00:02

    Tom,

    Thank you for letting us know about Ellie. Like others, I missed her posting here, and hoped all was as well as possible. Ellie truly was a fabulous, inspirational and feisty lady who has left her own mark on the world. What a legacy. She’ll be sorely missed by more people than she could ever imagine, I’m sure.

    Your speech is beautiful. I can see why she fell in love with you!

    Sending much love to you and her family across the blogosphere.

    Cate xx

    Reply

  296. Clare
    May 21, 2012 @ 22:09:09

    So so sad tom , what a brave young lady Ellie
    Was , read all her blogs , such an inspiration
    to us all . Gone but never be forgotten .
    Clare

    Reply

  297. Effie
    May 21, 2012 @ 22:09:52

    Heartfelt condolences from Greece. I hope her blog lives on, she was special and her life should be celebrated. R.I.P. Ellie.

    Reply

  298. kate
    May 21, 2012 @ 22:11:35

    I am so very sad to read this blog post. I saw an article in Grazia a little while ago, looked Ellie up and found her blog and ever since I’ve read her articles.
    Her spirit was amazing. I loved how she would swear and curse at this disease – something it only deserves. She reminded me of my Mother who also died of cancer nearly 12 years ago. Her death absolutely crushed me, as Im sure Ellies has done to you, but I did feel a sense of relief for a little while that she was no longer in pain.
    Im very sorry you didn’t get to seal your love for one another in a way you had both hoped and dreamed for. But you clearly had an amazing bond and love for one another.
    Cherish those memories forever.
    My thoughts are with you Tom and both your families at this heartbreaking time x

    Reply

  299. c
    May 21, 2012 @ 22:12:40

    I am so sorry to hear this sad news.She was truely an inspiration for all of us and makes us value so much what we have.Tom, you and your families are in my thoughts,thank you for sharing with us.Bless you all xxx

    Reply

  300. J
    May 21, 2012 @ 22:34:37

    Like so many others, I did not know Ellie but followed her blog. I enjoyed reading her posts and it was clear from them how amazing she was. Thinking of you at this most difficult time. x

    Reply

  301. Rebecca
    May 21, 2012 @ 22:46:47

    Thank you Tom for sharing this loving dedication to your Ellie. I never had the opportunity to meet Ellie, but have followed her since the start of her blog. I was personally cheering and praying her on. I felt the loving energy and will to beat the big C in every post. She was an inspiration to so many and her words will continue to live on. I am sorry that she has gone so soon from you, her family and this world. My deepest sympathy to you all xoxo

    Reply

  302. Barbara
    May 21, 2012 @ 22:47:19

    Hi Tom,
    I am so sorry to hear Ellie passed away. Words are inadequate in such circustances…sending my warmest thoughts to you and Your whole family.

    Reply

  303. Bronwen Hopkins
    May 21, 2012 @ 23:05:54

    Bronwen Hopkins
    RIP Ellie you were such an inspiration to us all and gave alot of people hope . You will be sadly missed but never forgotten.
    My condolences to you Tom and Ellie’s family. May it help you to know Ellie was such a wonderful, brave lady who loved you so very very much. xx

    Reply

  304. Adrian
    May 21, 2012 @ 23:29:13

    The one Blog we never wanted to hear Tom. I too was worried at the quietness of the blog and thought and prayed for Ellie and you all that she would pull through this latest bout of treatment. My thoughts are with you all. A sad loss of a very funny, kind and talented young woman. She will be missed by everybody here. God bless Ellie and Tom.
    Adrian x

    Reply

  305. Geraldine O'Brien Mead
    May 22, 2012 @ 00:40:05

    Such a beautifully written post, Tom, thank you for writing (and so soon) to us followers of the blog and for sharing your speech. I suspect Ellie was every bit as lucky to have you in her life as you were to have her. Love and condolences to you and all the family, From Gezza x

    Reply

  306. Dan
    May 22, 2012 @ 00:41:11

    Im so sorry for your loss Tom. I’ve known Ellie for about 10 years now. Ever since I heard that she came down with cancer i always belived that she’d get over it. The Ellie that both you and I know is strong enough to beat anything. I got the text telling me that she’d passed and my heart sank. For the last year I’ve wanted to see her and show my support but I have always felt that she had some amazing friends close to her and an amazing fiancée so there was no need for me. She always will be special. Your lucky to have had her in you life as I feel I am luck to have had a small piece of her in my life. Like I said I’m sorry for your loss. I really am.

    Reply

  307. Kim Bumgarner
    May 22, 2012 @ 01:58:57

    I am so deeply saddened to read this post, my heart and prayers go out to you and to Ellie’s family. I had hoped that the silence on her blog meant that she was having her treatments, living her life, and planning her fairytale day. Ellie was ( is) an amazing woman who faced her fight like a soldier going into battle, her legacy and words will live on forever. RIP Ellie, and god bless Tom…

    Reply

  308. Lesley
    May 22, 2012 @ 08:05:04

    Tom,

    If good will and heartfelt wishes from all over the world counted, Ellie would have lived to one hundred and twenty nine, not just twenty nine. She touched so many.

    Thank goodness she had you in her life to help her through it all. The horrendous shock of a terminal diagnosis; the endless hospital visits; the treatments and the treats; then the gut wrenching realisation that nothing is working.

    Watching the one you love decline and die is a hugely traumatic experience.

    It was obvious from her blog that you made her so very happy and planning the wedding gave her something to focus on with hope for the future.
    I’m sure she heard and loved your speech. Well done.

    Lesley

    Reply

  309. Mrs Richards
    May 22, 2012 @ 08:55:43

    The quietness on the blog had me hoping that living had got in the way of cancer, I hoped that wedding planning, a Crete holiday and everyday life had meant that blogging had become one of those things Ellie would do later. That she would update us on her news and share some pics when she got the time.

    I am incredibly sad to hear the unexpected news for Ellie, Tom and her family and friends, it just doesn’t seem fair, It’s not fair that she got cancer, not fair she didn’t make her wedding, but then I’m certain cancer and life itself just isn’t fair. What is fair, is that Ellie met Tom, and that Tom met Ellie, that you both found true love, respect, and to use a cliche, a soulmate. Some people go their whole life without ever experiencing that, and the joy it brings. Cancer can never change that nor those memories.

    Thinking of you xx

    Reply

    • paperandstone
      May 22, 2012 @ 16:41:50

      Wow. This is exactly what I wanted to say but written much more eloquently than I could hope. So I would like to second every single sentiment here and offer my deepest sympathies on your loss. Thinking of you and your families, take care.

      Reply

  310. Robert Brownbridge Writes Stories and Poetry
    May 22, 2012 @ 09:03:37

    Dear Tom – I am deeply touched and saddened by what I have just now for the first time read and learned. Your love Ellie obviously was a remarkable and high spiritual being who has touched hundreds if not thousands, as you have now as well. And of course Ellie remains a remarkable being whose light will continue to shine on those who love her and those who have known her through her writing and sharing here on these pages. I’ve had tears reading what you wrote and all the support and comments you’ve received. As I inferred before,tonight is the first time I’ve known of Ellie and you, but from what I’ve read, the two of you are obviously special beings and your loss is huge she was so unique and loving. Ellie will remain in you forever; I know this to be true, for in my living and learning in my long life, I’ve found that love truly never ends. You are forever connected and there will never be another to replace her in your lifetime. She blessed you and you blessed her and those blessings will continue to enrich you – and others as well. I am deeply saddened by your loss. There are no words that can fully comfort you. I hope you will continue to share your journey if by doing that it also is helpful to you in such a painful time. Opening one’s heart and soul to others can help both the giver and receiver. All someone like myself and the hundreds of others who have followed yours and Ellie’s story and struggle can give you is our love and prayers. Know that you have mine.

    Reply

  311. Anthony
    May 22, 2012 @ 09:40:11

    This is very sad news. I was a daily visitor to the site, eagerly anticipating the blogs courageous words and strength. Ellie had so much vitality and hope. It is indicative of the times we live in that you can be touched so much by a person with whom you have never spoken or met. I hope Ellie’s strength will help to get Tom, her family and friends through this most difficult time.

    Reply

  312. Chelle Jones
    May 22, 2012 @ 10:11:35

    A Beautiful little girl who grew up to be an Incredible young lady, taken far too early, gone but you will not be forgotten. May the Angels look after you sweetheart.

    Love to your Family and Tom
    With Love Michelle
    xxxx

    Reply

  313. Melanie
    May 22, 2012 @ 11:27:16

    I’m so sad and sorry to hear this news Ellie was an inspiration to so many may she rest in peace x x

    Reply

  314. Louise
    May 22, 2012 @ 11:48:25

    Dear Tom, and all of EJ’s family.

    This is such terrible news and it still hasn’t sunk in. I can’t imagine how you’re all feeling….please accept my sincere condolences.

    Ellie was such a briliant person and as everyone on here says…. it’s just not fair.

    I worked with Ellie a few years ago and one of the biggest compliments I can give her is I actually looked forward to working horrible night shifts if I knew she was on at the same time!!

    I hope her loved ones take comfort in the fact that she was a fighter, that she inspired so many people, that she had found true love and that she is now at peace.

    A beautiful and brave post from Tom…..

    Thinking of all of those close to Ellie

    Rest in peace …. you did good xxxxx

    Reply

  315. Claire
    May 22, 2012 @ 12:08:26

    I did an actual gasp when I read this post. I just can not believe it. So sad for you that you didn’t get to have your wedding but like you said, you 2 didnt need a piece of paper to validate your love for each other, you did that every single day in a way words cant even express. I am truly sorry for you and for all of Ellies friends and family x

    Reply

  316. katy ditchfield
    May 22, 2012 @ 12:09:54

    R I P. Ellie , you have inspired me with my battle too , you have helped so many others with our breast cancer . love katy xxxxx

    Reply

  317. shelley
    May 22, 2012 @ 13:43:27

    We sat looking up at the night sky this evening in Margaret River, sought and found the brightest star, raised our glasses and said thank you Ellie Jeffery. The kindly shared words of your journey, which we will so miss, gave us courage, made us smile and wish for you and deeply inspired us….. Much love and respect to you and your Tom xxx

    Reply

  318. Mary Poppins
    May 22, 2012 @ 13:45:30

    Ellies story has touched myself and thousands of others so very much. I only found this blog last week and read it all in an evening through tears and laughter. I was so very very moved on what a strong, brave, funny, beautiful young woman Ellie was. I looked forward to Ellies next post explaining how she was fighting on and I looked forward to seeing photographs of her special day. And then no sooner had I read this blog she was taken, far too soon. I have learnt so very much from reading Ellies blog, about life, and the challanges and hurdles we face at times. Tom you must look into making it more available for others, I bet Ellie would have wanted that. Ellie’s courageous spirit shall live on in so many people who knew and loved her. Xxxxx

    Reply

  319. michelle
    May 22, 2012 @ 14:02:37

    Tom what a beautiful tribute to your amazing Ellie. Although I didnt know her personally reading her blog felt like she was letting me journey with her. I feel truly honoured to have had a little glimpse of such a wonderful girl. Please know Ellie has truly inspired all of us that read her words & willed her on. You & your girl will be in our hearts, sending you & your families much love x

    Reply

  320. Sarah-Jayne Windridge-France
    May 22, 2012 @ 14:11:16

    Such poignant words about a young woman who meant a great deal to a whole lot of people. Ellie and her posts, and in turn yours, have touched the hearts of everyone. As a complete stranger (a friend of Ellie’s suggested I read her blog) the love that you both share and the courage that you both show is tremendous. Even to be an eavesdropper … makes me feel proud. Ellie was so obviously an amazing, lovely, courageous person and I don’t think anyone that she’s touched will ever forget that … least of all you, Tom. Stay strong. Her love and your memory depend on it. x

    Reply

  321. Natalie McDonald
    May 22, 2012 @ 14:45:39

    Tom you & Ellie will be together forever in everyones hearts.You were both so brave,true soulmates.Thinking of both of your family & friends,take care x

    Reply

  322. Imran
    May 22, 2012 @ 14:47:50

    I never had the pleasure of working with Ellie, but she was a very popular woman in the Tyne Tees newsroom where I worked. Everyone spoke of her with such admiration and love. My thoughts are with you and your families. May she rest in peace.

    Reply

  323. Another Ellie
    May 22, 2012 @ 14:55:35

    The most awful news. Ellie was a total inspiration. Truly. xx

    Reply

  324. Irene Blackbourn
    May 22, 2012 @ 15:07:50

    God bless you Tom, Ellie was well loved.

    Reply

  325. jenn
    May 22, 2012 @ 15:41:37

    tom, i keep re reading ur post. i find it difficult to belief. i kept dropping in to see if ellie updated her new blog 2 weeks back. i kept checking in day after day and today i read ur post. i am speechless. my deepest condolences to u and ellie’s family. i know that no words can comfort u now, i dont even know wat are the right words to write anymore. tom, take good care, walk this journey of life knowing that ellie is at a much better place now. ellie is an amazing person. rest in peace ellie. big hugs.

    Reply

  326. Lucienne Smith
    May 22, 2012 @ 16:38:31

    Tom you made Ellie so happy – it was a privilege to share in your love story and heart-breaking that you have been separated. I send you and Ellie’s family much courage at this desperately sad time and I will remember Ellie’s words and thirst for life when I am myself in need of inspiration. May her light burn brightly inside you to give you on-going strength. A reader of Ellie’s blog. xx

    Reply

  327. elusivelysium
    May 22, 2012 @ 16:40:08

    I am devastated to read this…. Ellie is such an inspirational, brave woman and my prayers are with you both tonight… I am so, so sorry. My thoughts are with you Tom and Ellie’s friends and family at this difficult time.

    Julie x

    Reply

  328. Gnstr
    May 22, 2012 @ 16:45:25

    Tom, saddened by your loss. But your story has been inspirational, and in the fight against this dreadful disease, I must say I can’t think of a better plot for a movie based on a true story. God bless.

    Reply

  329. Kim
    May 22, 2012 @ 17:14:15

    Even though i like many people reading Ellie’s blog we did not know her personally i felt i did because of the way she wrote each day. She touched me, inspired me in a way that not many people can. She is the most amazing women. You both are truly remarkable people. Our thoughts are with you Tom, family, and friends.
    God bless you Ellie. x x

    Reply

  330. Helen
    May 22, 2012 @ 18:03:08

    To Tom and Ellie’s family, my thoughts are with you all. I am so terribly sorry to hear this news. One remarkable lady indeed, that touched so many!

    God bless you all x

    Reply

  331. Joanna
    May 22, 2012 @ 18:30:16

    I’m so sorry to hear the news. I have read every entry in this blog and was so touched and heartened by Ellie’s spirit and bravery. She was a wonderful writer and an incredibly strong person. I had tears in my eyes reading this entry. I know I have never met Ellie but I really felt I had gotten to know her through her words and her sharing of experiences. I hope you and your family can draw strength from each other in this truly difficult time. There are people all around the world thinking of you.

    Reply

  332. TraceyandChris
    May 22, 2012 @ 19:59:35

    Dear Tom and Ellie’s family and friends, I was so unsure how to write to Ellie on her blog after following her emotional journey and now I’ve left it too late… I truly believed that she would beat the cancer. I met Ellie at a fashion show in December, where our mutual friend Lora had organised the fundraising event in support of Ellie. I recall it was a brilliant evening and my fiancé and I were lucky enough to briefly talk with her. We needed Ellie to know how much of an inspiration she had been to us, so Chris managed to find a window of opportunity to speak with the most beautiful lady in the room. I was so nervous and unfortunately became all tongue tied but Chris explained that after reading her blogs she had enlightened us to realise just, how much we had to set our wedding date and live much more in the moment rather than waiting. When we told her this, I hope she took comfort in knowing how much we really did admire her enthusiasm, energy and without knowing it, her advice.
    Our thoughts are with you all through this tragic time that should never have been God’s plan…much love Tracey and Chris x x x

    Reply

  333. Mark adams
    May 22, 2012 @ 20:27:01

    Dear Tom and family,
    Our sincere condolences, my wife who works with me in a family medical business in Dubai shared her respect and admiration for Ellie many months ago. We are trying to develop our prevention, guidance and treatment for this terrible condition, shaped in part by Ellie’s real, practical and determined approach to life. We are sorry we did not know your special lady but know that others will benefit from the wisdom she shared.
    Mark

    Reply

  334. Liz Cole (@lizbethsc)
    May 22, 2012 @ 20:53:20

    So sorry Tom. I have read Ellie’s blog for a few months now and had hoped that your post would never come. Thinking of you and all your family & friends and this heartbreaking time xxx

    Reply

  335. Anna
    May 22, 2012 @ 21:26:31

    Tom, thank you so much for taking the time to update us and write such a beautiful post. I never met Ellie, but watching my husband fight cancer and struggle through chemo, at such a young age too, i found Ellie’s post such a support. A shining light in a dark day. My husband is still here with me and I feel so angry that cancer took away your girl. That she didn’t get to have her special day. From everything she wrote about you we know you two were entwined and ‘married’ from the start. She was so lucky to have you there.

    Cancer is such a complete bastard and nothing I can write can take that pain away but you know, she stole away a little of all our hearts too and within us all she will never be forgotten.

    my thoughts and sincere condolences to you and all of Ellie’s family, Please be good to yourself and know Ellie’s spirit will live through us all x x x

    Reply

  336. Katie M
    May 22, 2012 @ 21:28:34

    My thoughts are with you all. Ellie was a remarkable woman and I’m sure that all of us who have read her blog have been touched by her amazing courage and zest for life. I know I have. I hope that you do get this published Tom and can take some comfort in knowing how we have all hoped and prayed for Ellie, she will continue to inspire people.

    God bless Ellie x

    Reply

  337. Aisling, Ireland
    May 22, 2012 @ 21:41:08

    Tom, I am so sorry for your loss. I loved reading Ellie’s blog. It really thought me not to sweat the small stuff and be grateful for everything that I have. It’s amazing how Ellie had such an impact and managed to touch so many people’s lives through her blog and it is a true testament to her wonderful self. Although she has left this world, I am sure she is not too far away and will always look after you.

    You and Ellie’s family and friends are always in my thoughts. I will never forget her. xxxxxxxxx

    Reply

  338. Rosie
    May 22, 2012 @ 22:35:01

    I will miss Ellie’s blog, she was a fantastically talented writer as well as a true inspiration. My thoughts are with you and the rest of your families.

    Reply

  339. glynbop
    May 22, 2012 @ 23:39:58

    Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate
    Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure
    It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
    We ask ourselves, who am I, to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
    Actually, who are you not to be?
    You are a child of God.
    Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.
    There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
    We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
    It is not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
    And as we let our own light shine,we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.
    As we are liberated from our fear our presence automatically liberates others.

    Ellie you are remarkable, sweet dreams xx

    Reply

  340. glynbop
    May 22, 2012 @ 23:44:32

    Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
    Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
    It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
    We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
    gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
    Actually, who are you not to be?
    You are a child of God.
    Your playing small does not serve the world.
    There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
    so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
    We are all meant to shine, as children do.
    We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
    It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
    And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously
    give other people permission to do the same.
    As we are liberated from our own fear,
    our presence automatically liberates others.

    Ellie you are remarkable. Sweet dreams xx

    Reply

  341. Laura
    May 22, 2012 @ 23:49:15

    I can only imagine how utterly lost you are all feeling at this bleak moment in time, and I offer my sincere condolences. There are countless people, many who did not even know Ellie personally, who are mourning alongside you. She leaves behind a rich legacy which I truly hope will be continued by all who loved her. Tom,it is clear to see that yours and Ellie’s love story was one that cannot be moved by even this.
    Remembering a truly inspirational lady, from whom we can all learn a little something.

    Reply

  342. amelia soegijono
    May 23, 2012 @ 01:00:43

    Tom, I am loss for words… when you said that your life has been richer by having her in your life…. i am sure all of us whom lives Ellie’s touched has experienced a richer life too because of her sweet soul. RIP Ellie, Tom you will be in all of our prayers…. x

    Reply

  343. simon wynn
    May 23, 2012 @ 02:26:05

    Hi Tom,I know you and i have never met,however i have heard many things about through fax + sarah and of course gorgeause Ellie! Ive read your blog with great interest,and also not meeting Ellie very often and certantly not knowing Ell like fax and sarah,i HAVE to say i can only agree 100% with your writings/brilliant description of Ellie,
    I remember the 1st time i met Ellie,myself,fax and sarah and other cool cats were partying on down @ fax + sarahs new pad (this is of course some years ago) and i/we met Beautiful Ellie for my 1st time!,,,,,As you SO brillianty put it ,Ell was instantly attractive to be around!,fun,cool,beautifull looking,endearing,enchanting,extremely warm and of course bursting with that such pleasent way she made you feel,i just felt (as did my other freind chris wilson) So safe in her company,that you could instantly tell her everything about you whole world ,knowing there and then youve made a GREAT , BRILLIANT and TRUSTWORTHY freind.

    Of course,again as you so brilliantly wrote it was Ellie’s ‘SPARK’ that she had,that came SO naturally from here that you couldnt help but be knocked off your feet in complete exited suprise,instantly feeling her natural warmth,love,honesty,kindness and genuine-ness,it ooozed from her STRAIGHT into the Lucky recipitent she was spending time with.

    Thats how i remember gorgeause Ell,So unfortunatly rare in this modern world!
    So inspiring too as i know you know,Ellies strenght brought me to tears on many occasions,reading her blogs,and meeting her in Londan etc.
    An absolute TRUE genuine Inspiration as a human being and to all who were lucky enough to either meet Ell,Or get to know her through her writings etc!

    I can HONESTLY say Tom,Your beautiful Ellie touched me DEEPLY in many ways ,i of course feel EXTREMELY blessed and also honoured to of met Ellie and spent the times with her that i did.
    i of course as will everyone else always have Ellie in our hearts.

    I hope we meet sometime soon Tom,I know how MUCH Ellie LOVES YOU .

    In our hearts forever as our freindship is too you.
    God Bless to you both,ALL our LOVE Wynny + Noah Xxxx

    Reply

  344. Amanda Power
    May 23, 2012 @ 08:26:57

    Hi Tom – I have no words having gone through the tragic loss of a young friend to breast cancer 3 times too often already – and now Ellie, whom I considered a friend, tragically has also lost her noble but untimely battle.

    I have to agree with Jane above Tom, please don’t close Ellie’s blog!

    It’s so important to us ‘young women’ with cancer to have a blog – which Ellie so successfully created – in which we can voice ourselves, find much needed support, and help each other through our rough journeys.
    I’m quite sure Ellie would support such a legacy, especially as she created this blog herself. It’s clear, I think, that she too needed a ‘room’ to be a cancer patient in, where she didn’t have to be tough, brave or positive – where she could be just a young girl, in herself dealing with a deadly disease along with a very unpredictable future.

    No one chooses or wants to die – sadly you know this far too well first hand. This is where Ellie’s blog is tremendously real, and so for us, struggling to survive, it would be a great honour to keep the site open.

    I think many of us would appreciate your strength in doing so. We will keep it alive for Ellie – until you are ready to do so again Tom.
    Words cannot express just how precious this is, and even though many of us never knew Ellie, she was so real and so ‘girl next door’ to us. She symbolised many of our lives in a exceptionally positive way. You deserve to be so proud.

    Have a rest and grieve, dwelling on Ellie as much as you need to – I think everyone who participates on this blog recognises the importance of a major loss in life – Ellie.

    We will all be here when you come back.

    Much love, Amanda Power
    South Africa

    Reply

  345. Nicola M
    May 23, 2012 @ 08:30:01

    Tom, I started to follow Ellie’s blog after reading about her fight with cancer in the Telegraph last year. What I found on this site was an amazingly brave woman who’s positivity and determination never wavered. When I saw your post today my heart sank and I will admit without shame that I cried for you both and for everything that has been lost. More than anything I wish she could have had that beautiful wedding day that she had planned. Though it is of little comfort right now I think in 29 years Ellie achieved things that many people can only dream of and more than anything she found something really amazing – somebody she loved and who loved her in equal measure.

    To you and all of Ellie’s family and friends I can only say how very sorry I am for the loss of Ellie. Please know that she will always be remembered by the people who have followed her blog xxx

    Reply

  346. Verity
    May 23, 2012 @ 09:17:42

    When I started reading Ellie’s blog, I had just been discharged from a psychiatric ward suffering from depression. I count Ellie for inspiring me to carry on; to see how short and fragile and beautiful life can and should be. I know this is of little consolation to you during this awful time … but Ellie helped save my life.

    Reply

  347. Jackie P
    May 23, 2012 @ 12:12:03

    No words can express how cruel life can be and always to the most amazing people like Ellie who was a true inspiration.

    Take care and be kind to yourself

    Reply

  348. Kerry
    May 23, 2012 @ 13:07:08

    Dear Tom
    Ellie was extremely lucky to have felt your love, that unconditional love which is so natural when you meet your soulmate. Getting to know Ellie through her blog was a priviledge – independant, inspirational, funny, loyal and with such depth of feeling for people who she probably never knew.
    I hope that you can gain some strength from the knowledge that so many of us will be thinking about you and remembering Ellie with warmth and fondness. I hope your memories will also give you strength and reassurance that Ellie didn’t lose her fight, she fought the fight and won in so many ways.

    Look after yourself and those around you and please pass on sincere sympathies to Ellie’s family.

    With love
    Kerry

    Reply

  349. sarahw1
    May 23, 2012 @ 14:15:18

    Tom and Ellie’s Family

    I am so so sorry for your loss. I have been following Ellie’s blog for months and I really hoped and prayed that Ellie would be able to marry you Tom and have the wonderful day she had planned. Ellie was an inspiration and so very brave – it’s not fair that such a lovely human being should be taken away by such a horrendous disease. I have been thinking about Ellie all week and on my own wedding day on June the 1st next year I will take a moment to think of her.

    I am so sorry..
    Sarah x

    Reply

  350. Catharina
    May 23, 2012 @ 16:40:31

    Dear Tom, I read your blog with tears in my eyes…
    My sincere condolences to you, your and Ellie’s family and friends.

    Rest in peace, strong, brave and beautiful Ellie xx

    Reply

  351. kim
    May 23, 2012 @ 17:41:54

    Tom,
    I read Ellie’s article in the Daily Mail and have been following her blog ever since. My heart is broken for you. Ellie was such an inspiration. Her love for you and her dedication to beating such a horrible disease was something that could be felt even just by reading her words. That is a true gift. She was an amazing writer and someone who made such a difference in so many lives. May she rest in peace knowing that her fight was not in vain. My sincerest sympathies to you and the rest of her family.
    Much Love

    Reply

  352. Robin
    May 23, 2012 @ 18:12:10

    I never met Ellie but I read her blog religiously. I discovered it last summer, just as I finished treatment for breast cancer and was feeling incredibly vulnerable. I always got strength from Ellie’s strength and was uplifted by her positive energy. I was thrilled to hear about the wedding. Over the past month, I kept checking in to see if her blog was updated. Never letting myself think the worst, I assumed wedding planning was monopolising her time. Oh how I wish. I was so stunned and sorry to hear the news and just wanted to let you know how much of a positive impact she had on someone she didn’t even know.

    To echo some many others on this site, lets keep Ellie’s legacy alive.

    With love,
    Robin

    Reply

  353. biscuit4tea
    May 23, 2012 @ 19:18:16

    I’m so sorry to all of you for your loss, although I have always been a silent lurker of the blog, I have always enjoyed reading Ellie’s words. she will be missed by more people than she knew x

    Reply

  354. khadija
    May 23, 2012 @ 19:43:05

    Dear Tom

    I desperately wanted Ellie to beat this disease and make it to her wedding day. I was devastated to read about her death. You meant the world to her and she loved you dearly. Thinking of you and her family.

    Khadija

    Reply

  355. Meera
    May 23, 2012 @ 22:10:08

    Absolutely amazing tribute to an absolutely amazing girl. Your post made me sob and smile at the same time. The love you two had for one another was simply out of this world. R.I.P Ellie. I never met you but you were and are truly an inspiration. Tom…sending you love and strength. xx

    Reply

  356. Gareth
    May 24, 2012 @ 01:09:22

    Such sad news, such a lovely, bright and engaging young woman lost to us all. My family and I sending all our love to Tom and Ellie’s family.

    Reply

  357. Helen
    May 24, 2012 @ 10:36:47

    Tom I’m so very sorry to hear about Ellie and for your loss of what was truly an amazing and inspiring person. Reading her blog was like hearing from a girlfriend. Whilst hers was an incredibly hard fight, she did it with humour and utter strength. Like others, I desperately hoped that she would win this fight. My heart goes out to you Tom. I wish you and your family much strength, peace and love.

    Reply

  358. Lauren
    May 24, 2012 @ 11:32:37

    When the time is right it feels like Ellie’s work would make such a phenomenal book. Your words are filled with such love and the lively spirit that infused Ellie’s writing, such a beacon of light and strength for those in need,
    with love to you and the family
    x

    Reply

  359. Dawn
    May 24, 2012 @ 15:41:13

    I never knew Ellie but I started reading her blog after I read about it in a newspaper. I had such hope that everything would work out for Ellie she was such a fighter, something blatantly apparent from her blog and I admired her gusto more then anything. I write this with tears running down my face. To all Ellies family and friends I’m so very sorry for your loss, Ellie sounded like such an amazing lady, of course you all know that anyway xx

    Reply

  360. Clare
    May 24, 2012 @ 16:08:48

    How utterly heartbreaking that this amazing and talented young woman lost her fight, she battled right until the end and her words will live on!

    I will never forget this Blog, God Bless you Ellie, Tom and all of your loved ones. You shall hold your beautiful memories in your heart forever.

    xxx

    Reply

  361. Hilary Craft
    May 24, 2012 @ 16:48:46

    Heartbroken for you Tom, Ellie’s family and her wonderful friends.

    Sincere condolences to you all

    Hilary Craft (Action Against Cancer)

    Reply

  362. kerry
    May 24, 2012 @ 19:28:02

    Tom, I have thought of Ellie a great deal over the past week, have willed her on, along with the rest of the world, have wished you both all the happiness and love that should have been yours….’In sickness and in health’…….you both knew and understood the real value of those words….’for better and for worse’…Yours was an inspiring and enduring union, ceremony or otherwise. My love and thoughts, and condolences are with you for this very great loss to you Tom. You were everything to Ellie, she was immensly proud of you, and loved you so very much.

    Reply

  363. Grace Higgins
    May 24, 2012 @ 19:35:18

    My sincere condolences to you Tom, and to yours and Ellie’s families. I didn’t know either of you but my best friend knew Ellie and today spoke so fondly of her to me on the phone. As she knows I work for Macmillan Cancer Support she encouraged me to read her blog. Ellie’s honest account of her life, treatment and cancer journey were humbling and inspirational. She is a beautiful writer, and I will be encouraging my supporters and other people affected by cancer to read Ellie’s blog and gain strength and inspiration from her words.

    Once again, I am so sorry for your loss.

    Reply

  364. Marla
    May 24, 2012 @ 19:57:00

    Tom, thank you for sharing this post with all of us. I was just introduced to Ellie and her journey. I know that we lost a cancer crusader. And I also know her words will continue to live on and she will continue to touch many souls. Love and light to you all.

    Reply

  365. Christine brewis
    May 24, 2012 @ 21:57:48

    My are thoughts are with you Tom ,Chris and family at such a sad timex

    Reply

  366. dede
    May 24, 2012 @ 22:37:04

    Well Tom, Ellie sure did pick the right man in her life, for you are a true star, to have the strenth to post here, and share with us such a wonderful wedding speech, god love you and do know we all are gutted for this terrible news.
    After reading this last night and not able to sleep afterwards, i really wanted to do something for Ellie but what could i do, but as i happend to go out to the garden this morning to call the dog, i saw all the rose petals scatterd on the ground, and one guilty dog look up with those big brown eyes, i thought i know, so i gatherd them up alll red, pink and yellow, and put them away till i came home from work, took myself off down to the sleepy lake, where a wonderful little waterfall lies among the wonderful tall trees.
    I said a silent prayer to Ellie and you and scattered the petals, it may sound silly, but it sure made me feel like i done something, God bless you and yours Tom you will go forward and live a life as you say all the richer for having Ellie in it then and always.
    Love dede

    Reply

  367. Stephen
    May 24, 2012 @ 23:49:37

    Tom
    I am so sorry to hear that Ellie lost her brave fight with cancer. I am writing this comment in the hope of providing you personally with some words of comfort as I can empathise on the deepest level. My girlfriend Kate lost her fight to cancer on 11th February 2012 aged 29, like Ellie she was amazingly brave and positive and I’m so proud of what a strong person she was. Kate got know of Ellie’s blogs through a friend in August 2011 and she read every one of them, Kate drew huge inspiration from Ellie’s optimism and loved her great writing style, she was always telling people about writtenoff.net. Like Ellie she was ready to fight all the way but ultimately the chemo took it’s toll on her body and she passed away in the care of the christie hospital whilst surrounded by many loved ones.
    Printing Ellie’s words as a legacy for others is a fantastic one and her positive spirit will forever impact on other people’s lives as it did with Kate.
    I would get some people come up to me and say how sorry they were for my loss but ultimately that they didn’t know what to say, i would tell them there is no right answer, the truth is there isn’t as no words will bring back the love of your life. One comment however does give me some comfort and that is that Kate lives on through me, not just in memories but in her impact on my personality, how she influenced me and made me a better person, so in that way Kate is forever with me, part of my soul. This comment might help you, I don’t know as we all think about things differently, but I hope it does.
    You’re right about how the pain hits in different waves of intensity, at very first in an extreme level but it does get easier. If I’m honest I don’t know what to make of life at the moment as all my future plans were with Kate, what has helped though was keeping busy and the charity side of things. We had made plans to travel for 6 months, setting off in march just gone, I’m going to carry these out in the near future, hoping that maybe then I’ll get some direction.
    I wish you all the best for the future Tom.
    Stephen

    Reply

  368. Carol
    May 25, 2012 @ 00:38:31

    dearest Ellie and Tom…i am so sorry to read about your loss Tom xx I first read about Ellie in the Daily Mail in November and as i read about her story..i felt a pain in my breast ..and as i reached out to it..i felt a lump… and yes it turned out to be a cancer similar to Ellie’s..it was as though Ellie was sending me a message..i followed her story and then recently it went quiet..and i was hoping she was far too busy to write…and i was thinking about her on Sunday …and there you where Tom..with such sad and beautiful words for Ellie…God bless ..i will never forget you both…even though we never met..i felt i knew a small part of your life together…xxxx

    Reply

  369. Paula Mitchell
    May 25, 2012 @ 08:52:50

    To Tom and everyone who loves and will achingly miss Ellie, I sincerely send my thoughts and prayers to you!

    I have been reading this blog for quite some time and I am astounded by the courage an bravery of this young lady in her battle against cancer. She is an inspiration!

    I am so sorry to hear of this dreadful news but I as well as everyone who reads this blog am comforted by knowing that Tom will continue the legacy that Ellie fought so hard for.

    R.I.P Ellie xxxxxx

    Paula N.Ireland

    Reply

  370. Chloe
    May 25, 2012 @ 13:33:31

    I am so very sorry. I loved hearing her story. What a gorgeous person. PEace be with you.

    Reply

  371. Millie
    May 25, 2012 @ 15:19:00

    That wedding speech is one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. Love is eternal. My thoughts and deep deep sadness are with you both and with Ellie’s family and friends xxx

    Reply

  372. Catherine
    May 25, 2012 @ 18:47:35

    I am really saddened by this news…I always read Elies blog and despite the terrible situation she was talking about there was always a certain wisdom contained in her words that really made me look at life in a different way. I suppose in some way I thought people like Elie must survive as the world needs them. I don’t think I will ever forget Elie as an example of what living is about. She seems incredibly remarkable…Thoughts Catherine

    Reply

  373. maria
    May 25, 2012 @ 19:00:30

    I am one of those who had never met with Ellie. I wanted to give her a hug, if only a virtual one. I wanted to celebrate her wedding. I am deeply touched by her fight. I was heartbroken to hear the news. I am so sorry. But I am sure that her spirit is still here.

    The fight is still on against cancer. Any of us might carry the altered genes responsible for developing cancer. No test is available to indicate when it switches on. The unspoken fear that Ellie had faced with all her might is still here. I admired her for her strength.

    It seems that the void she had battled with so bravely till the end is still out there – even more so. We have lost one of the bravest fighters. One ponders if one had the faulty gene turned on and one’s days were numbered. Who has the courage to fight like her?

    Would it be possible to keep her blog active to help other women facing the disease? Would Ellie have wanted it to spread awareness after she was gone? Could it be possible to make this blog a tribute for her by making it a breast cancer awareness page to console others? Perhaps, it just too painful for you, Tom to think about that at this time.

    I’d like to encourage you to keep the site active. I think Ellie had become a role model in her fight. I miss her guiding force. She made us gather here from all over the world to celebrate her bravery. Science has not come up with the preventive test yet. We have to go on with the fear in the back of our minds.

    I am thinking of an interview with Professor Hope on current research. Let’s collect Ellie’s brilliant articles on her condition and put them up on the site. Let’s have her brother write something light hearted and funny. Let’s face this terrible loss Ellie’s way and carry on in Ellie’s spirit. Let’s celebrate Ellie’s quest this way. So, we can find some peace in knowing her while fighting our own battles.

    Maria, Hungary

    Reply

  374. Tina
    May 25, 2012 @ 21:46:06

    They are not dead,
    Who leave us this great heritage of remembering joy.
    They still live in our hearts,
    In the happiness we knew, in the dreams we shared.
    They still breathe,
    In the lingering fragrance,windblown, from their favourite flowers.
    They still smile in the moonlight’s silver,
    And laugh in the sunlight’s sparking gold.
    They still speak in the echoes of the words we’ve heard them say again and again.
    They still move,
    In the rhythm of waving grasses, in the dance of the tossing branches.
    They are not dead;
    Their memory is warm in our hearts, comfort in our sorrow.
    They are not apart from us, but part of us,
    For love is eternal,
    And those we love shall be with us throughout all eternity.

    My thoughts are with you Tom and all Ellie’s family sending you lots of love, Lets keep this blog alive for Ellie and for everyone who loved her and misses her xx

    Reply

  375. Wendy
    May 25, 2012 @ 22:54:41

    I am so very, very sorry. I am so sad and it’s hard to believe Ellie is gone. I loved seeing her photos and reading this blog, she was beautiful and funny and brave and like everyone else I was really, really hoping she would make it.

    I can’t say anything more that hasn’t already been said, except I will be thinking of you all and know your family and friends will help you through this tough time.

    Wendy, Colorado

    Reply

  376. helena
    May 26, 2012 @ 00:24:50

    Ellie’s family and Tom,

    I have been following Ellie’s blog for a while now, she has been such an inspiration. She dealt with her illness with pride, dignity and courage. I live all the way in Kuwait yet Ellie has managed to touch me in so many ways. She has helped keep me grounded and appreciate the blessings around me. I truly believed with all my heart that Ellie will beat this nasty disease. Ellie rest in peace now. You can have as many rocky roads as you want now. Sleep tight beautiful angel.

    helena

    Reply

  377. Florence
    May 26, 2012 @ 08:31:24

    Tom – you have given Ellie so much during her years of suffering…words cannot describe how precious this support is. You made her feel valued as a human being but also as a woman, which given her illness, was so important. It is rare in our spoiled world to find a loyal and loving human being like you. I wish you now all the strength to regain a sense of your own future, with Ellie in your heart. It is early days, but I am convinced that you will be happy again one day… It is not for me to do and Ellie must have said it a thousand times, but I still want to say ‘thank you’. Thank you for all the love and support you gave to Ellie and showing that REAL love in its purest form does exist. Lots of energy and comfort to you and Ellie’s family and friends x

    Reply

  378. Lisa Severin
    May 26, 2012 @ 12:29:35

    Dear Tom,
    I have only just become aware of your beautiful Ellie through my friend Francesca, who thinks the world of her too. And now I understand why. I wanted to pass on my thoughts to you. Her blog is so honestly written and she sounds like a wonderful woman. I hope you and your family are coping okay and Im sending lots of love , Lisa x

    Reply

  379. Jayne Balshaw
    May 26, 2012 @ 15:17:58

    A very moving tribute. Bless you all at this very sad time.

    Reply

  380. Emma
    May 26, 2012 @ 18:18:36

    I have only today come across Ellies blog and what an amazing blog it is by an amazing lady i am truly sorry for your loss i hope Ellie rests in peace after fighting her best against an awful disease xxxx

    Reply

  381. Mary
    May 26, 2012 @ 22:53:22

    Tom, Ellie’s story has touched myself and thousands of others so very much. I found this blog not long ago and read it all in an evening through many tears and laughter. I was so very, very moved on what a strong, brave, funny, beautiful young woman Ellie was. I was eager to read Ellie’s next post explaining how she was fighting on and I looked forward to seeing photographs of your special day. Then no sooner had I began reading this blog, she was taken, far too soon. I have learnt so very much from reading Ellies blog, about life, and the challanges and hurdles we face at times. Tom, I think it would be a very moving tribute to make this blog available as a a reading aid for others. I know Ellie’s words have touched so many lives and making this blog available would mean Ellie’s words can carry on touching the hearts of others. Ellie’s courageous spirit shall live on in so many people who knew and loved her. Sending you lots of peace at this sad time. Xx

    Reply

  382. Kate Hough
    May 27, 2012 @ 00:13:56

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss of Ellie – I have followed her blog since reading of her in the Daily Mail – she was such a brave young woman and so very inspirational and also beautiful – I truly hoped she would have the wedding she was so looking forward to and my heartfelt sympathies lie with you and her family and friends – you were all so lucky and blessed to have her in your lives xx

    Reply

  383. Francis
    May 27, 2012 @ 06:38:13

    It breaks my heart to hear the loss of your Ellie, Tom! Her courage, her optimistic approach lighten up many people’s lives, including mine. Words cannot describe how grateful I am to hear how Ellie tackled the big c and how she had every will and tenacity to beat it! Yes, she may appear to have lost the fight but in truth, she won a splendid battle and she is a true credit to you and her loved ones!

    I sincerely hope that you will get over the loss of Ellie and be able to get on with your life with her in your heart! I am sure you would appreciate that it’s better to have met someone so splendid and to lose her rather than not having the fortune to have met her at all!

    The very best of luck to you, mate!

    Best regards,
    Francis

    Reply

  384. Jacquie
    May 27, 2012 @ 10:10:54

    Dear Tom, I read the first few lines of this entry and I gasped. How could it be? The optimism and determination Ellie showed shone through her blog, making it inconceivable that anything but a long and happy future would be hers. Reading your beautiful words I – a stranger to her – felt a deep, deep sense of injustice and sorrow. So I cannot begin to fathom the terrible depth of sadness you, her family and friends must be feeling. I hope it will lessen your sadness just a tiny bit to know that she touched so many, many people with her humour, honesty, bravery and love. She truly was a gift.

    Reply

  385. julie lambley
    May 27, 2012 @ 10:18:12

    fly with the angels, you fought a hard fight i hope you have found some peace now. my thoughts to your devoted husband to be and family xxx

    Reply

  386. Pat Sweeney
    May 28, 2012 @ 01:45:51

    Just want to send you love and best wishes .. I found out the news when I opened the Sun newspaper whilst away on holiday in Spain….my thoughts and prayers are with you and all your family xx Pat

    Reply

  387. Clare Harley
    May 28, 2012 @ 10:22:33

    Dear Tom and family. I have returned from holiday to find news of Ellie’s passing, and although I never knew her I followed her blog and was willing her to survive the horrible disease. I lost my best friend, Caroline (aged 33) some 7 years ago to breast cancer and I suppose that I hoped that somehow Ellie would beat it. I am so sorry that she did not make it.
    Clare xxx

    Reply

  388. Victoria
    May 28, 2012 @ 11:11:24

    I have only just become aware of Ellie’s Blog, I am so sorry for your huge loss. I hope that Tom and Ellie’s family and friends feel the love Ellie will always bring them even if she isn’t physically with you… she will not truely all the time you remember her. God bless. xxxx

    Reply

  389. Angela
    May 28, 2012 @ 14:14:00

    Such sad news, Ellies Blog was so inspriring – what a brave girl x

    Reply

  390. Janet
    May 28, 2012 @ 16:54:13

    I followed Ellie’s blog since reading her article in the Daily Mail. I was so touched by her positivity, that I had to follow and prayed for a happy ending for her. Sadly her life was taken far too early. “For your positivity, your strength and your courage, Ellie I applaud you”…………I hope you are flying with the angels in paradise now. Condolences to Tom, family and friends, God bless you all. x

    Reply

  391. Jane Montgomery
    May 28, 2012 @ 20:37:00

    So sorry to hear of Ellies sad passing. I have been following her blog since august as I was going through chemotherapy myself for breast cancer. I was truly inspired by her bravery and her love of life. I cried for u, Tom, Ellie and ur family circle as Ellie never got the wedding of her dreams – sometimes life can be so cruel. I cried for Ellie as if she was one of my friends. I’ll miss reading Ellies blogs – would be great idea to publish blog into a book. I’m praying for you all at this sad time. Jane

    Reply

  392. LauramcG
    May 28, 2012 @ 20:53:40

    To you Tom and both family’s, I never had the pleasure of meeting Ellie or yourself but you both appear to be strong, loving people. May she rest in peace an may you find strength in knowing she is no longer suffering. RIP angel. With thoughts at this very sad time x

    Reply

  393. Sally
    May 28, 2012 @ 22:53:52

    I just want to say what an inspirational person Ellie was and how sad I was to hear the news. I lost my beautiful Mum on 17th May, after eight years of fighting cancer. She was given weeks when she was diagnosed and we had her for eight years for which I am so grateful. She was incredible. Although I didn’t know Ellie personally it was obvious she had a very special personality and her light shined so bright. I prayed for Ellie as I prayed for my Mum, and will continue to do so. Much love to you xxxx

    Reply

  394. Mimi
    May 29, 2012 @ 01:00:48

    Sending love and sympathy from Australia. What a girl she was.
    Tom, I wish you strength. Wonderful wedding speech.
    xxx
    Mimi.

    Reply

  395. Joanne
    May 29, 2012 @ 10:51:11

    Dear Tom,

    My friend told me about Ellie’s blog a few months ago and I am so glad I got the chance to read it, She wrote so beautifully and it was plain to see that Ellie was a lovely down to earth girl. She will always be remembered by so many people who like me never even met Ellie in person, I loved her sense of humour and fighting spirit, a true inspiration!
    I’m so sorry you and Ellie didn’t get to have your big day, she must have Loved hearing your wedding speech, The way she spoke about you was so humbling, I believe Love like that will last forever and I’m certain Ellie will always be with you!

    I think your idea of maybe having the blog published is fantastic, I am a paediatric nurse and some of the things Ellie said really hit home, for any nurse to be given such a truthful insight to the person behind an illness is totally invaluable.

    Thinking of you
    Joanne from Adelaide. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Reply

  396. mjdompierre
    May 29, 2012 @ 13:45:25

    Thank you, Tom for this post. I met Ellie last autumn when she still considered to get alternative treatments in addition to the chemo. She spoke with pride and love of you and I could easily see how much she already felt to be your wife. She said that she has the best man in the world at her side and that you make her very, very happy.

    Reply

  397. Michael Mathäß
    May 30, 2012 @ 13:36:46

    Thank you Tom for somehow finding the time to share this with us. This is the post I had hoped never to write.
    Ellie was an inspiration – her courage and determination, her warm and sometimes savage wit endeared her to all who had the absolute privilege of knowing her. May her memory live on in hearts of all. Thoughts with you Tom and your new and extended family.

    Reply

  398. Carly Nicole
    May 30, 2012 @ 16:08:50

    I am actually lost for words. I have been reading this blog ever since it was featured in the Daily Mail and would often check back for updates. She was such a fighter and had the most amazing, positive, strong outlook on everything. I feel like I have lost a friend and can’t believe she has gone. Thinking of all the family at this very very sad time.

    Reply

  399. Kay
    May 30, 2012 @ 17:24:56

    I think your words ‘I will always regard Ellie as my life partner’ say it all. What an amazing woman who fought to the end. It was clear to see her true love for you Tom through her words on this blog. So sad that she didn’t make it to your big day.

    Thoughts are with you and all those who loved Ellie.

    RIP Ellie, sleeping with the angels now xxx

    Reply

  400. Stuart Brown
    May 30, 2012 @ 18:26:21

    Tom – I first heard about your story a few months ago whilst reading the Evening Standard on the way home. I recognised your name as someone I used to know back at Brentwood P school when I think we were about between the ages of 7-10 before my folks moved to Sussex.

    Having read Ellie’s blog, words cannot describe what an inspirational person she was and will no doubt continue to be for future readers. Hers and your courage through all of this was amazing and thoughts and prayers are with you from an old school mate at this sad time.

    I really wish you all the very best for the future.

    Stuart Brown

    It’s often

    Reply

  401. Rachel
    May 30, 2012 @ 23:42:58

    Tom,

    Thank you for spending your time writing this post, the post nobody ever wanted to read.

    It is clear from your words that you and Ellie were a perfect match and it was clear from Ellie’s posts how much she loved and adored you. I am so very sad that you and Ellie never got the wedding day you dreamed of however you are totally right when you say that your lives were entwined and that she was your life partner and you don’t need any ceremony to proove that.

    My thoughts and prayers are all I can offer at this time. I do hope you publish Ellie’s book. Ellie was such an inspirational person who it is clear could turn such negative circumstances into positives because of her incredible attitude. I have no doubt having her amazing fiance by her side made her journey so much more bearable.

    Much love to you and please do post photos/videos at some point if you feel you can.

    Reply

  402. Caroline, Ireland
    May 31, 2012 @ 15:18:36

    Heartfelt thoughts to you Tom and all of the family, so so very sorry and sad to hear of Ellie’s passing, R.I.P Ellie, an Inspiration xxx

    Reply

  403. Kelly
    May 31, 2012 @ 15:21:31

    Oh my, I have only today become aware of this. God bless you all, her family and friends and her wonderful husband to have been. She was an inspirational, wonderful, amazing young woman. I really don’t know what else to say – am in shock from reading this on alrightit.com site.

    Reply

  404. Liz Jackson
    May 31, 2012 @ 15:58:57

    I have tears running down my face, i have like many others been following this brave, brave girl that i have never met. Rest in peace Ellie, and to Tom, be brave

    Reply

  405. Lisa
    May 31, 2012 @ 17:10:32

    I never had the honour of meeting Ellie, I read about her story and her life on the Daily Mail website over in Germany where I live now and her words stayed with me. I admired her so much, all her dreams and her aspirations and the strength and courage of her soul just shone through in that article, cancer couldn’t take that away. I wanted her to have that dream wedding so much, I got married myself this year and I could understand the dreams you want with the man you love with all your heart, after everything she had been through, it was only fair that Ellie got that. I only recently found out that she had passed away and I was devastated, how could I feel so upset about someone I had never met I asked myself, well because Ellie was so special and she had touched my heart. Why is life so unfair sometimes, I just don’t understand it but I will never forget you Ellie, you made me appreciate what I have and may your soul be helping people up there, like you helped so many people down here…god bless you xox

    Reply

  406. Bryony
    May 31, 2012 @ 22:56:42

    I think I probably speak for a lot of people when I say that once I discovered Ellie’s blog, I read it religiously. As soon as I saw there was a new post, I would drop everything to read it. But I never left a comment, and now I wish I had.

    I was utterly shocked when I read this post as I hoped so much that Ellie would get to see her wedding day. I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I hope you can take some small comfort in the fact that Ellie, through her beautifully written words and her incredible bravery, inspired many more people than you will probably ever know. x

    Reply

  407. rachel
    Jun 01, 2012 @ 07:55:11

    this is such sad news and i am thnking of you tom and ellies family and friends. like many others i never met ellie but her spirit and courage have touched me. i know there are not words to describe how you must feel now and you have been very brave in writing this post and sharing very raw emotions with us all. i am thinking of you all.

    Reply

  408. Caz
    Jun 01, 2012 @ 16:00:45

    Tom, Mr and Mrs Jeffrey and family,

    It was an absolute honour and a priviledge to nurse Ellie along the end of days path and to also ‘nurse’ you, her family, during what was ultimately a very sad, often painful, sometimes funny but ever – determined time.

    Ellie never lost her beautiful disposition, the one of thankfulness interlaced with her wonderful sense of humour, even when receiving treatments. Thank you, Ellie’s family, for entrusting her care to us and for letting us share your amazing fiancee, daughter, sister and friend at the most intimate family time.You, and especially Ellie, have left such an impact on us all.

    Ellie’s engagement ring sparkled… lol…….but not as much as her. :) xx

    Reply

  409. Suzy Smith
    Jun 01, 2012 @ 17:03:45

    As I stumbled across your blog Ellie, when you first began writing, I have been captivated by your fearless strength, love and wit. I am deeply sorry to hear that you have passed, May your wonderful memory live on and let there be hope for others to come. This world can be very cruel, may your love and memory remind us of how lucky we are. Rest in peace Ellie. Your a star in the sky.Thank you for sharing your story. My thoughts are with your loved ones. Suzy. x

    Reply

  410. Deb
    Jun 02, 2012 @ 12:59:33

    Dearest Tom, if I have my dates right, this was to have been your wedding day. I am so sorry that your beautiful girl couldn’t reach the landmark we were all so hopeful she would see. I pray that your memories of your wonderful life with Ellie bring you some small comfort today.

    Reply

  411. Pam Gotham
    Jun 02, 2012 @ 16:23:27

    Tom, I am SO sorry.

    Hopefully you will get a measure of comfort from your memories of the devotion and precious times you and Ellie shared. Having followed Ellie’s blog, with much admiration for her positive mindset, I do hope her words can be widely published so as to inspire and encourage others.

    RIP Ellie. God bless you both.

    Reply

  412. Ann-marie
    Jun 02, 2012 @ 17:40:36

    Omg have cried my eyes out reading xxx

    Reply

  413. table for two
    Jun 03, 2012 @ 00:17:40

    Dear Tom, I found this blog tonight through a friend of a friend and did not expect the first post that I saw to be that. Ellie seemed like a wonderful, lovely, optimistic, energetic young woman who made the best out of an awful situation and she was so so lucky to have you standing next to her. I can’t begin to imagine what you and her family are going through but I really hope one day things are easier for you. Ellie is the kind of person I would love to have been friends with and it must have been an honour for you to have known her and loved her.
    Your wedding speech was perfect, and I bet she savoured every word as you were reading it to her – she couldn’t have asked for a better husband. Love to you and her family xxx

    Reply

  414. Jo Pawlett
    Jun 03, 2012 @ 16:06:08

    I have been following Ellies story, since reading about her in a publication of Breast Cancer Care. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer In 2010. She truly was an inspiration, i found it very comforting to read her thoughts and feelings. She has touched so many lives.
    RIP Ellie xxx

    Reply

  415. precious gran
    Jun 03, 2012 @ 19:45:30

    you are all in my prayers,i would like to send you a song:please play,Ten Thousand ANGELS by lynne cooper,it says everything.with love to ellie tom and all who need comfort strength care n support xxxx

    Reply

  416. Emma
    Jun 03, 2012 @ 22:46:33

    This is the post I hoped I’d never read. I didn’t know Ellie but I feel as if I did. I’m so terribly sorry for your loss, Tom. RIP Elliexxxxx

    Reply

  417. sky
    Jun 04, 2012 @ 03:23:57

    Thanks for letting us know Tom. I hope everyones thoughts are giving you and Ellies friends and family a little bit of comfort at this sad time. I have thought about Ellie a lot even though I didn’t know her personally – she really has touched so many lives around the world.

    Reply

  418. Corina
    Jun 04, 2012 @ 10:36:13

    I’m so sorry for your loss, like many people here I didn’t know Ellie, but felt like I know her. She touched the lives of so many people xxxx

    Reply

  419. Karen
    Jun 05, 2012 @ 10:15:04

    R.I.P. Ellie, my thoughts are with you Tom and with with both your families. Beautiful wedding speech, you both so deserved an amazing wedding day, may you find consolation in your memories.
    Much love, Karen M

    Reply

  420. bernadette raleigh
    Jun 05, 2012 @ 15:36:23

    I am so shocked to read of Ellie death .She has inspired me for many months now.R.I.P.Ellie you were amazing’

    Reply

  421. Laura Roberts
    Jun 06, 2012 @ 10:39:06

    Stay strong, so deeply sorry for your loss – I have read and re-read Ellie’s blog, it has helped so much with coping with my own loss.
    Best wishes

    Reply

  422. Tracey
    Jun 06, 2012 @ 20:01:27

    Have followed Ellies blog for quite a while now, I was so sure she would kick this cancers ass, she was so positive and determined, she was an inspiration to so many people going through the same painful agonising times, I have no idea why some people are taken before others, its life at its cruelest. Its heartbreaking news.
    Be safe, and be happy xxx

    Reply

  423. Jessica Vieira
    Jun 07, 2012 @ 03:38:02

    You did not marry as many couples have also had no children, but lived an UNCONDITIONAL love that few people have the opportunity to live. And that love has taught thousands of people around the world to be more loving and more HUMAN. Unfortunately Ellie gone, but the soul does not die, and she will live with each person who had the opportunity to know this amazing human being. Tom, feel honored to have lived next to someone so wonderful and that she chose you, I’m sure she felt honored as well. BE STRONG, TOM! Ellie is with you and help you overcome this pain.

    Reply

  424. Stephanie
    Jun 07, 2012 @ 19:32:24

    I have followed Ellie’s blog for quite a while and I so admired her, what a truly wonderful spirit she had. I have a dear friend who has been going though a very similar situation along with Ellie and who also shares a fighting spirit. She knows that her time is going to be very limited, but fights on determined to pass every milestone, much as Ellie did. I felt so very sad to read this post, I was carried away by Ellie’s determination and feel shocked that the inevitable has happened and realise that it will also for my friend however much I don’t want it to. My thoughts and prayers go to you Tom and all of yours and Ellie’s friends and family. I hope you can gain strength from the support around you, your love and your memories.

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  425. Rocky Road
    Jun 08, 2012 @ 08:27:36

    I feel like a light has gone off in the world. I always hoped that Ellie would be here for so much longer. Tom, thanks for sharing your thoughts. Beautiful writtten. How lucky she was to have you by her side. I admire you both. Love to stay in contact.

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  426. Claire Singlehurst
    Jun 08, 2012 @ 13:06:00

    Tom, I periodically check in on Ellie’s blog posts to see how she is getting along, and if I’m honest to get an inspirational boost from such an amazing young woman. I’ve just read your post and I’m devastated. I read with interests the plans that Ellie made for your much anticipated wedding, something she was clearly so excited about. I’m so so sorry for your loss x

    Reply

  427. Nicola
    Jun 08, 2012 @ 16:03:33

    Isnt it amazing that 377 people have been so moved by Ellie that they have left a comment, and I bet there are so many more that havent been able to find the words to express how they feel on here – just shows what a huge impact she has made. Her family and friends must be so proud of her.

    Reply

  428. Maria
    Jun 08, 2012 @ 20:50:31

    First it puzzled me why Ellie named her blog written off. I thought about the brutality or rather a threatening finality of the meaning behind these words. She challenged that. These words still give me the shivers and I didn’t have to face what came with them. I slowly started to realize that she took up the fight with all her might. I admired her for it. “Written off.” – they say. I say: “What’s the next thing to do? I’ll do it.” I think that was her attitude, a first class kick-ass attitude.

    I didn’t know her, but just like so many others I’d followed her and felt that I knew her through her writing. I was to convince her to keep on writing, she did that anyway, and make her page a sort of breast cancer awareness page. That is exactly what she started to do in her very intelligent way. She spread awareness. I think it is still great. I think it should be out there for others to see. How many other Ellies are out there facing the same thing right now? And how many will be to come after her? She did everything the best way she could.

    I was planning something, a small surprise for her wedding to help her remain in good spirits. I didn’t have a chance. Now I wish I still could do it for her honor. I am sure that living in a blissful state focusing on her plans for the wedding preparations till the end, she was in good spirits. That is great. Sometimes, I want to think that the genuine givers like her are invincible. No one is.

    Her words are still here. And her intelligence and force and spirit that her words carry are still here. So, one more time I’d like to encourage you to keep her words, her web page open for all to see. I am sure her words would keep on giving courage to sufferers like her.

    If I can be a help somehow, even in a small way to keep that website active, feel free to contact me. Thank you for sharing your beautiful wedding speech. I am sure that Ellie too, in one way or another had heard that.

    Reply

  429. Anna
    Jun 08, 2012 @ 21:17:10

    Tom,

    I have tried several times to leave a message on here but I have found it difficult to find the right words to say. I still haven’t found those words but I really wanted to write something. Myself and my sister followed Ellie’s blog and like many others were concerned when all went quiet. A blog is such a personal thing but Ellie chose to share her story with others and in doing so she has changed the way that so many people think. Ellie’s writing was so open and honest that I felt like I knew her and it was such a blow to read your post. Ellie leaves an amazing legacy and whilst I can’t begin to imagine what you’re all going through at the moment you can be sure that a little bit of Ellie will live on in so many people.

    My thoughts are with you.

    Anna

    Reply

  430. nicola
    Jun 09, 2012 @ 06:44:12

    My thoughts are with you Tom and all Ellie’s friends & family. I would come on here and read her blog, so amazed how somebody with such an awful disease remained so positive. A truly inspirational person. xxx

    Reply

  431. Helen
    Jun 09, 2012 @ 19:25:38

    Sleep peacefully Ellie, and take comfort Tom in the wonderful legacy of how her words touched the hearts of so many people around the world. God bless you both xxx

    Reply

  432. Zoe Harris
    Jun 09, 2012 @ 22:11:06

    I keep coming back to the blog. I’m not sure what for. I know that there won’t be another post, but still I come back. I can’t believe that someone who I’ve never met can have such an effect on me. By the number of comments, it looks like I’m not alone. You were and still are a top girl Ellie. Never written off.

    Reply

  433. Rachel
    Jun 09, 2012 @ 23:31:47

    I am very saddened to hear this, sending much love and thoughts to all Ellie’s friends, family and loved ones. Such an incredible fighter, such a beautiful soul x x x rest in peace x x x

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  434. Nuria
    Jun 10, 2012 @ 11:03:18

    Dear Tom,
    I am really sorry about Ellie. I just found out today about this sad news.
    I have been following Ellie’s blog since my diagnosis after seeing an article on a Breast Cancer Magazine. She has helped so many young women to get second opinions and to try everything possible and never give up. I wish we got a chance to meet. She was a truly positive and inspirational person. She was very kind and always found time to provide advise despite her illness.
    Rest in peace my dear Ellie.

    Reply

  435. Jill Spain (@JillSpain)
    Jun 10, 2012 @ 15:41:55

    I found Ellie’s blog through a fellow blogger’s post and am deeply saddened to learn that she has gone. My heartfelt sympathy and wishes go out to Tom and her family and friends.

    Reply

  436. Nicolle
    Jun 10, 2012 @ 19:38:56

    Tom – my thoughts are with you and Ellie’s family. I had very much hoped that Ellie can be cured and survives. I have a vague idea what you are going through. My husband and I fought one year against his lung cancer. Sadly he lost his battle and past away in January at the age of 37.

    Reply

  437. Hannah
    Jun 10, 2012 @ 22:38:42

    Such sad news what a truely amazing girl Ellie was. So incredibly brave and honest. I’m training to be a doctor and ellie’s posts have truely inspired me to be try to be best Doctor I can be and try my best to help people as much as i can in Ellie’s situation. My thoughts and prayers are with you x

    Reply

  438. Gareth
    Jun 11, 2012 @ 15:25:43

    Such sad sad news, RIP

    Reply

  439. Tamsin Michelle
    Jun 11, 2012 @ 15:44:23

    So saddened to read about this. My thoughts are with you and the family. Lots of love from Chile

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  440. Lauren Schab
    Jun 11, 2012 @ 15:58:26

    Tom- I just found this article on Daily Mail and Ellie’s story is very touching. I hope you are hanging in there!
    Lauren

    Reply

  441. Nik
    Jun 11, 2012 @ 17:00:52

    I am so so sorry for your pain and very sad news of Ellie and her relentless suffering. My little boy had Leukaemia afew years back and it was the most devastating thing to have ever happened as I am not and was never a strong person and wanted to end it all truly and feel guilty to this day that cancer done that to him and changed me.

    You were so very very lucky and the stars collided when you met online and you were her angel and soul mate. I met my partner the same way but he chose to leave me when I was pregnant with already having a baby and teenager. I myself had to have an MRI as very unwell and still am and awaiting some more news.

    Ellie and yourself are made of sterner stuff and with such admirable courageousness and compassion. Touched my heart and soul reading her blog and your speech. Truly heartbreaking.

    We will donate blood more often as a family and urge other people to do the same as its so vital.

    My she rest in peace and have the serenity she deserves. God bless to you and both your families. xxx

    Reply

  442. Nele
    Jun 11, 2012 @ 17:01:22

    Dear Tom,
    I remember last writing a comment on a post in November, when I was still in China and read about Ellie’s condition in the DM. Ever since then I kept coming back to this website to read how she was doing and I continued to feel sad every time I realised that she might not make it. I grew concerned when all went quiet after her last post. Since then my time in China has come to an end and I moved back to Europe only to discover this last post from you, leaving me speechless. I dont know what to say to you, but I will try.
    I am very sorry Ellie past away, her words and writings, so personal so honest, have made a huge impression on me. Through all this time you’ve been an amazing life partner to her and I think publishing her blog and continuing her legacy are a great thing of you to do. Thank you for publishing a last update on Ellie, you have written a real beautiful wedding speech.
    Dear Tom, I wish you all the strength in the world to get through this difficult time you are facing. I am sure she will be there with you to guide you along the way.
    Dear Ellie, a truly inspirational person, may you rest in peace.

    Reply

  443. Lara Livingstone (@divasdelite)
    Jun 11, 2012 @ 20:15:00

    I send my deepest condolences to you Tom and all of Ellie’s family and many friends.

    She was an amazingly bright, beautiful, funny, positive inspirational person, whose strength and courage in sharing her story has helped so many other people; most of who, like myself were unfortunately not blessed enough to meet her, but felt like she was a much loved friend.

    Such a very special lady – RIP Ellie -xxx-

    Reply

  444. Afua
    Jun 11, 2012 @ 20:25:46

    Rest in peace, Ellie. You sound like a great person. I’m sad to read about your death. To Tom and Ellie’s friends and family, you are all in my thoughts. I hope that in time, your pain eases. Love and hugs to you all. xx

    Reply

  445. Kirsty George
    Jun 11, 2012 @ 22:31:57

    Dear Tom (& family)

    I don’t know how I’ve missed this but I have only just read the post you hoped you’d never write ….. And we hoped to never have to read.
    I’m sorry, words fail me. I only knew Ellie through her inspiring blog which made us all appreciate our lives with fresh eyes and remember to live every day as well as we could. This was her gift to us, thank you Ellie.

    I hope that you can smile and still feel Ellie’s love knowing that she is watching over you from paradise, where no doubt she will be having mischevious fun like she did when she was here!

    Thank you so much for continuing to share your memories of Eliie with us

    Kirsty xx

    Reply

  446. Brenda
    Jun 11, 2012 @ 23:00:51

    Dear Tom,

    I have read Ellie’s words and am touched beyond imagination. I hope that her words and memory will bring you comfort.

    Reply

  447. Kate
    Jun 11, 2012 @ 23:04:30

    Tom my heart breaks for you, the attatchment I and clearly many others here felt to Ellie pales into insignificance with your loss. From reading her words, I feel I got to know a small amount of what Ellie was like, and she certainly was all the things you said. In knowing that, she saw in you a life partner, an equal. The strength you have seen her possess, she saw in you too. I pray that the right people will surround you, comfort you, and allow that strength to in time flourish. The human spirit is surprisingly resilient. If nothing else, Ellies blog said one thing… grab life by the short and curlies and go out there and live it. You deserve to do that and I honestly believe you have in you the courage to do so. It would be so wonderful to hear through the blog of your progress, never forget her supporters are your supporters too xx

    Reply

  448. Grace
    Jun 12, 2012 @ 01:22:55

    I have just stumbled across Ellie’s blog purely by chance yet within minutes, she has inspired me. Her video tribute has had me in floods of tears. What a beautiful woman, inside and out. x

    Reply

  449. Rachel
    Jun 12, 2012 @ 03:24:44

    God always takes the good ones first… I have only just learned of Ellie’s blog, her spirit and character seem to be that of a truly unique person, one in a million and I am so sorry to hear she has lost her fight to this cruel disease. My thoughts and prayers are with you Tom, and with Ellie’s family, you must all be so proud of her. It is obvious from the comments on here that Ellie inspired a lot of people out there, something very few people hav the ability to do, it seems, you were truly blessed to have had the time you had together and yours is a special love that will last a lifetime. I’m sure you will meet again in another lifetime, absolutely sure of it. RIP Ellie xxx

    Reply

  450. Lydia
    Jun 12, 2012 @ 14:13:14

    You may not be here Ellie, but your spirit will be here for an eternity. I wish Tom, your friends and your families peace and happiness.

    Reply

  451. lucia & chris tomlinson
    Jun 20, 2012 @ 12:42:22

    Hi Tom,
    Me and my husband went to college with Ellie. We were so gutted to hear the sad news, and we just want to say how sorry we are, we will never ever forget her courage, strength & determination – what an amazing woman. X

    Reply

  452. Ruth Speers (@RuthSpeers)
    Jun 24, 2012 @ 16:51:40

    I didn’t know Ellie but stumbled across this blog which i then couldn’t forget about. The amount of strangers following her journey and posting comments highlights just how inspirational her attitude was. RIP x

    Reply

  453. Alice
    Jul 11, 2012 @ 18:26:22

    It was just a normal day at work, today, and then i had this thought that is already July and i dont even know how was the wedding, i was just so excited, wanted at least read about it, feel emotions, love (and joy in this case as well) thru Ellie’s post like I always did. But then i saw the blog and i said there must me something wrong. i always believed that somehow she will just make it. That she will be fine, you know. Also if i knew that the thing is not going really well, that is not just a flu,i never really thought that this happen. I mean, there are so many miracles happened in this world, why she could not be the next? She would deserved it, so why not?

    I never met Ellie in person, i didnt know her. One day accidentaly, i found her blog and I was impressed by strenght and spirit she put into her posts. So i always came back, to see how is doing, what’s new, how the thing with Tom is going, what about results…She posted one day the most beautiful photo i have EVER seen, i think its from Christmas with nephew, that one became my favourite and i carry her in my phone because its just beautiful and so full of love and hope. She always made my cry, how brave she was, how grateful, how beautiful, how strong she was. She became a person i was thinking about quite often asking me why she was so unlucky? She seemed to me to be a great daughter, loving fiance, a great friend, a fighter, a wonderful person with a big heart, a person i would be proud to be a friend of…and in some strange way I feel like i know her, i cared and i felt to be very close to her, also if i never really knew her. I haven’t that pleasure. After i find out she passed away i cried, I’m still crying, because I’m so sorry and I cant believe it. Anyway, she was also a very lucky woman, with loving family, lot of friends, she also make it in a time to meet a man of her life and spent some wonderful time together. She was an inspiration for many of us im sure about that. She was, for me.

    My deepest condolences.

    Reply

  454. calebalotCaleb
    Jul 23, 2012 @ 12:47:03

    I met Ellie’s brother John in Australia about three weeks ago now in fairly unique circumstances. The way John spoke (and speaks) about Ellie is at once inspiring and desperately sad. The tragedy that has over come a clearly amazing person and her loved ones is heart breaking. There is a lesson here for everyone about loving the people close to you and finding the things worth holding onto in life. RIP Ellie.

    Reply

  455. Amanda Power
    Aug 06, 2012 @ 17:05:15

    Hi Tom

    Just wondering how you are – I hope with all my heart you are doing well and somehow managing life without your dear Ellie.
    Think of her so often, miss seeing her news and enjoying her wonderful quirks and jokes.
    Amanda, Cape Town

    Reply

  456. Amy Fry
    Sep 25, 2012 @ 04:18:55

    I started following Ellie’s blog when it was featured on Daily Mail. Even though I never met your lovely Ellie, I wanted to offer my deepest condolences to you, Tom, and the rest of Ellie’s friends and family. I was so saddened when I read of her passing in May. I was thinking about her and you today and thought I would post a comment to let you know that someone on the other side of the world was thinking of you and wishing you well.
    Amy
    The Woodlands,Texas

    Reply

  457. Caroline
    Oct 03, 2012 @ 21:06:19

    Hi Tom and family,

    My condolences to you and the families.

    This November i will mark 10yrs since i was diagnosed with breast cancer at the tender age of 27. It was on November 8th 2002 when i felt the pea size lump on my right breast while breast feeding my son(am a single mother of an 11yr old boy) who was then 1yr 8 months. The histology report two weeks after the GP made an open biopsy was devastating keeping in mind i was so young and my son too..and the possibility of metastases was scary. The chemotherapy and radio therapy followed after the full mastectomy was done in December 2002 at KNH hospital Nairobi. It has been a tough 10yrs and i thank God for everything positive that has come my way.

    I will hold a 10km walk on 10th November 2012 to mark the same and intend to offer a free cancer screening for two days. I intend to hold the walk annually starting this November and i believe it will go a long way in creating awareness and the need for early diagnosis and course of treatment. This will be done through Oasis of Life Organization an NGO registered in Kenya. I believe it will touch another person’s life and make a difference.

    My heart goes to you Tom and your families. May God love console you.

    May Ellie rest in peace, she was a great fighter.

    Carole

    Reply

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