“But you’re so young.”

As a cancer patient in your 20s certain doctors seem to somehow take a bit more interest in you. They can’t help it, you’re the exception to the rule. I was recently at a vascular appointment to see what the blood clots were up to and the registrar who was about my age asked, “How did you discover you were ill?” Quickly adding, “If you don’t mind me asking?” If I had a quid for every time a registrar had enquired about my illness or commented “but you’re so young,” I’d have, ooh…at least a fiver.

Once when I was waiting for a scan the doctor was called to try and get a vein. She inquired about all my ailments and commented, “Poor you.” Quite, now can you concentrate on putting that cannula in please?

“I’ll look out for your brain scan results” she joyfully called after me as I made a sharp exit. I know it was just a clumsy attempt to make small talk, but what good would that do me? I’d never see her again.

I used to get upset by it – it’s not easy to recount to a stranger that your life has taken an entirely different turn to what you had planned. They’ve read the notes (well at least they should have) so is it really necessary for me to explain it in person?

Those who suffer from cancer in their 20s and 30s are a relatively rare breed. There’s certainly not a whole lot of support out there specifically aimed at this group of people. I think there are only two occasions throughout my many chemo sessions that I’ve not been the youngest patient on the ward. You’re in your prime and your cells are meant to be top notch; they’re not meant to let you down and steal your dreams before you’ve even gotten started.

As my body receives wave after wave of toxic treatment to fight these cells I have had to come to terms with the fact that I won’t have children. Funnily enough, the thought of this upset me more when I was initially diagnosed and the chance of having children wasn’t entirely ruled out.

I have always wanted kids and having met the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with it seems like such a kick in the teeth to have that chance taken away; not just from me but from Tom also; I feel guilty, that I have let him down, that I can’t be the best for him.

Once my secondary diagnosis came the prospect of ever having children was well and truly scuppered. But when I found myself fighting for my life children didn’t seem as important any more; living as long as possible for myself and Tom became the focus.

I love children and am fortunate there are a fair few kiddiwinks in my life who I get to spend time with. Before my diagnosis I could only see the benefits of having kids but now I realise that life can be just as fulfilled without; when your life is threatened your priorities change. Don’t get me wrong, I would have tried for children if the secondaries hadn’t come along, but a long life with just Tom seems pretty attractive right now.

I’m lucky I have a great support system around me, with Tom and my friends always on hand. I can’t compliment Maggie’s enough on the emotional and practical support they’ve provided me with, but not everyone is lucky enough to live in a city or have friends and family nearby. Often someone in their 20s or 30s won’t have savings to fall back on if a cancer diagnosis comes. If they have to give up their job how will they afford to live? I’m sure there are many who retreat back to their family home, relinquishing their independence and the life they loved.

I miss work terribly. On a good day I could manage it but I can’t guarantee good days or when they’ll be. It can be disheartening to be stuck in the flat when you’ve worked hard to get to a certain point in your career.  Your job becomes beating the cancer, and FYI it’s a shit job. Don’t ever willingly apply.

The benefit of having cancer in the Internet age is that your world is opened up to support services that you might not ordinarily have access to.  Through Twitter and blogs I’ve learned of and met up with women who are going through a similar situation to me, which has helped me massively.

It’s refreshing to be able to discuss issues that you might not want to bring up with other friends through fear of upsetting them. Recently Fran, who I’d ‘met’ on Twitter came to visit me for the first time. The conversations took a natural cheery steer towards questions about death, brain metastasis and how our partners will cope without us. It sounds pretty macabre but if you heard the tone in which we were calmly discussing these topics you’d think we were sat talking about shoes, the latest episode of TOWIE and George Galloway’s victory in Blackburn…er sorry, I mean Bradford.

My case may be a rare one but it’s by no means a one-off, which is why I’d really rather not be treated as a curiosity when I’m going for one of my regular appointments. Save the medical marvel stuff for when I beat this shit!

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51 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. marie hitchman
    Apr 01, 2012 @ 11:47:10

    Glad your still kicking the ass of the cancer. Great to read your blog as always, it makes me smilex enjoy the sun love Mariex

    Reply

  2. Melanie Richardson
    Apr 01, 2012 @ 12:33:33

    And beat it you will, Ellie.
    M xx

    Reply

  3. grahaemep
    Apr 01, 2012 @ 12:43:47

    Hi Ellie, I’ll bet that for Tom, while having children may have been desireable, it is easy to forego in order to be with you and near you. How do I know? I had to make a similar descision 30 years ago due to problems that my wife had.
    We just have to deal with the situations that we find ourselves in. That’s something that you do, both admirably, and I’m sure inspirationally to countless others.
    I so admire your bravery, honesty, and fortitude.
    As ever my prayers, hopes and good wishes go out for you and Tom, both for your strength and comfort, and for a successful resolution to the horrible situation that you are in.
    I know that you will keep fighting Ellie, and countless numbers of us will keep praying for you.
    Love and God bless you.
    Grahaeme.

    Reply

  4. Hannah
    Apr 01, 2012 @ 14:37:03

    Hi Ellie – It must be hard to face not having children. It must also be hard to cope with the sympathy of strangers who ask you about your history.

    I know a little bit about being seen as a medical oddity as I miscarried a baby with a unique disorder. The pregnancy was in its early stages but the experience was upsetting. What shocked me was the fact that my consultant told me that the world of genetic medicine was very interested in my ‘case’ and there had been some excitement amongst the scientific industry. I wasn’t sure what to feel about that.

    Reply

  5. ali p
    Apr 01, 2012 @ 14:49:24

    Food for thought, certainly………lots of love Ellie xx

    Reply

  6. francespringle
    Apr 01, 2012 @ 15:35:56

    Tears, laughter and goosebumps reading this. Wonderfully written, poignantly put and a bloody brilliant last line! x x

    Reply

  7. Rebecca
    Apr 01, 2012 @ 15:43:41

    Lots of love Ellie. I agree that life without children can be just as fulfilling! I look forward to marvelling over you when you have beaten cancer! x o x o x

    Reply

  8. Sharon
    Apr 01, 2012 @ 16:06:05

    Hey you, glad to see you are still fighting the good fight with your customary wit and humour mostly intact. Fingers crossed that the good days outnumber the bad ones as you go through the latest treatment process – and, yes, it is a pain to have to continually explain your situation, I used to wonder if my doctors ever read the notes they carried around. One once told me that he liked to hear it ‘in your own words’ so he could judge the level of understanding – patronising sod!

    Reply

  9. elaine young (@elaineayoung)
    Apr 01, 2012 @ 17:22:19

    Dear Ellie, I think you have a great insight into ‘the way things work’ and I would like to share your thought with my registrars and students if that’s alright with you. We spend so much of our time talking about science and trial results and cancer biology …… and I think we do sometimes, in some way, lose our focus. You have an uncanny knack of spotting this and putting us straight and I admire you for that so much. I truly hope you have a lot of life to live, and wish you all the best, in every way possible.
    Elaine
    Xxx

    Reply

  10. ChloeGreene21
    Apr 01, 2012 @ 19:55:20

    All power to you Ellie. So true as ever. xx

    Reply

  11. Rachel
    Apr 01, 2012 @ 21:25:00

    Great to read your blogg as ever Ellie. I think in all aspects of life people really say some stupid and unhelpful things without meanning to and I can imagine this must be soooo frustrating for you. You are so very logical about everything and it is the only way to be but still shows your amazing strength of character. You so obviously loved your work and were very good at it and i do believe now that writing this is still giving you that outlet, granted you’re not paid but you have avid readers who are begind you every step of the way. Keep smiling and being positive and before you know it you’ll be aking down the aisle to your Tom!xx

    Reply

  12. Sandy Morales
    Apr 01, 2012 @ 21:29:48

    Dear Ellie — I’m a friend of Tom’s (one of the Chile crowd) and read your blog regularly. It’s a witty and brutally honest read, and I’m sure you inspire a lot of people with similar experiences to yours. It’s brought tears to my eyes a couple of times. I can’t until the wedding to finally meet you and am very excited because I’ve just booked a B&B in Whitby for me and (Chile) Ed.
    All the best,
    Sandy xxx

    Reply

  13. alison68
    Apr 01, 2012 @ 21:54:59

    Hi Hun, I know what you mean with the docs I have the same problem. My chemo has stopped for a few weeks because of shit side effects. I have stage 3a grade 3. Finding it hard knowing I have the worst case apart from stage 4. Sending you happy thoughts and good days, we need all the luck we can get.

    Reply

  14. Helen Foulds
    Apr 01, 2012 @ 22:52:11

    I totally agree Ellie. It took me 9 months and numerous GP appointments to get the correct Lymphoma diagnosis despite it being the most common type of cancer in people in their 20s! However I found the hospital staff were the exception so I guess I was ‘lucky’ and at least they’re trying to show they care in some way or other? I too found support groups and friends of friends who had been through something similar were the most comforting so I’m glad you’ve also benefited from this. Xxxxx and on the kids front you just never know what’s round the corner- you do hear of the odd exception to the rule! Xxx but if it’s not to be then you have lots of other wonderful things to enjoy in the coming months and years xxxx lots of love to you and Tom

    Reply

  15. Gary
    Apr 02, 2012 @ 01:24:34

    Keep up the fight Ellie, can’t wait to see the wedding pictures. Hopes and wishes coming your way. Gary X

    Reply

  16. Francesca
    Apr 02, 2012 @ 08:01:41

    Babies schmabies – I like my belly the way it is, thanks. And WE ARE SO GOING TO BE CURED, the fact we are young means the nerdy docs view us as a ‘project’. Between Alison and Stebbing, they will nail this bad boy fo so. Sooooo great to finally meet, hopefully see you in next couple of weeks xxx

    Reply

  17. Kate
    Apr 02, 2012 @ 09:08:38

    I can relate to the looks of pity and “you are so young” having been diagnosed at 31. And i especially felt like people would watch me with my 1yr old daughter with my bald head or at the hospital with the long faces. We feel bad enough and pity can make it worse. And i remember when i was first diagnosed being surroundd by older women who had different challenges when it came to breast cancer. We worried about very different things being in such different stages of life. I think your outlook is amazing and it is amazing what becomes your new “normal” when the cancy fairy taps u on the head. I wish you the best Ellie. Kate from norway

    Reply

  18. Alison Collington
    Apr 02, 2012 @ 09:58:39

    Ellie Your comments made me stop and think. It really helps to hear your observations and I hope the medical profession listen too. It is so important everyone is treated as an individual. xxx

    Reply

  19. Rachel
    Apr 02, 2012 @ 10:11:19

    Love reading your blog – I am great believer in postive thinking – and a postive thinker you are…..total inspiration! Wishing you lots of happy and postive thoughts xxx

    Reply

  20. Claire Leng
    Apr 02, 2012 @ 10:16:13

    Hi Ellie
    Good to read your post, no matter what you write you always manage to make me smile and I want to thank you for that. I too know all about pity from medical professionals, sometimes when I go to my local hospital for the routine checks, scans etc I feel like Im walking around with 2 heads! ‘Liver cancer, well how has this happened? OAP’s are meant to be the ones that get this hideous disease’, Well I never have done things by the rule! And then comes the ‘aw and you have a baby’ and thats when it really gets me. Ive come out of that hospital sometimes feeling suicidel, but if I had let all of these episodes get to me I certainly wouldnt have made it this far, so sod off with your pity cos we just dont need it! (rant over). I hope the chemo is being easy on your body but hard on the cancer, keep up the good fight you are doing amazing, sending you lots of love and glowing healthy light, Claire xx

    Reply

  21. Joanna white
    Apr 02, 2012 @ 11:19:11

    Hello there you amazing lady! I’ve just read your article in the vita magazine whilst having my fifth chemo for triple negative breast cancer.

    Keep fighting, it’s all so cruel. We are too young for this but then I think maybe we are just the ones who are strong and can fight .

    Take care

    From

    Joanna,
    Kington Langley, chippenham

    Reply

  22. Mrs Smiles
    Apr 02, 2012 @ 13:19:58

    So glad you have posted! Was thinking about you just last night (in a non stalker way of course seeing as though I don’t actually know you!). It’s hard to know what to say really as a lot of the time it just sounds trite but keep fighting. As for your career – I think this blog would make a pretty good book!

    Reply

  23. Lauren Dell
    Apr 02, 2012 @ 13:47:55

    Hi Ellie,
    totally love your writing, and really look forward to each post, this is a book and a half hun, really look forward to your work being published :-)
    xxxx Lauren xxxx

    Reply

  24. Claire
    Apr 02, 2012 @ 22:25:36

    Hi I’ve not posted before although I have been reading your blog for a while. Everything I go to post just sound so… well shit basically!
    Just wanted to say your blog is brilliant and I think you are doing amazing.
    When my husband died when I was 21, none cancer related (and pregnant oh what fun that was!) people just didnt know what to say and I quite often got the “oh you poor thing your so young to be a widow” tripe. Like thats in ANY way gonna help yunno? I think people just literally dont know what to say so they just come out with any old crap just to fill the gap where they think something profound should be! lol
    Anyway will continue to read your blog and you just carry on doing what your doing :-) x

    Reply

  25. Chris
    Apr 02, 2012 @ 23:51:47

    Hi Ellie. Having dealt with my (comparitively very easy, stage 0 DCIS) breast cancer, I now have a husband waiting for prostate cancer biopsy results and a recently reconnected friend with Stage 3 colon cancer whom I am doing my best to support. Your blogs give me inspiration to help them.

    Reply

  26. Maria
    Apr 03, 2012 @ 06:01:24

    You sound like a whole person inside and out to me. I can’t explain why. It is the way it comes through your writing. I think you are connected in a wonderful way to us, strangers, and to the world in general. Being with you, the illness is at the wrong place at the wrong time. This quote does not apply to you, but still it is a great thought and made me think about you.

    “If you are divided from your body, you are also divided from the body of the world, which then appears to be other than you or separate from you, rather than the living continuum to which you belong.”

    ~ Philip Shepherd, from New Self, New World

    You are definitely not divided. Keep going.

    Take care.
    Maria, Hungary

    Reply

  27. Anouchka
    Apr 03, 2012 @ 09:15:31

    !!!!! YOU ARE AMAZING !!!!!

    Reply

  28. Marianna
    Apr 03, 2012 @ 10:53:40

    As always beautifully expressed Ellie. I bet you are helping so many, including medical staff with your insightful, articulate writing.
    Love,
    Marianna x

    Reply

  29. Elisa
    Apr 03, 2012 @ 16:18:58

    Once I was told: “Oh but you’re so nice!” by a nurse who just read my file.
    I did not know what to say so I told her: “hmmm…thank you?”

    (I don’t have cancer, I have a chronic disease that makes me go me to hospital quite often)

    I love to read your wise words Ellie but…oh you’re so young! (to write those meaningful words, I mean) :)

    Elisa xxx

    Reply

  30. ladyleftfieldlover
    Apr 03, 2012 @ 16:32:33

    Good to read your update and really hope and pray that the treatment is getting rid of all the nasties and baddies! Hope the wedding plans are going well – can’t wait to see the photos.

    Reply

  31. Amanda Power
    Apr 03, 2012 @ 19:45:40

    If one more person says to me “I’m sure if you are meant to have a baby one will come along” and “things happen for a reason” I will crack. Meaningless words to a cancer patient who can’t have children.
    I’ve learnt that these things are said to make the individual person feel better as actually they are uncomfortable and don’t know what to say to people like us. Hard to live with but if it’s the life ones given, not chosen, we really have no control – still kills me more than my cancer did though as I would dearly love to be a mom.
    Life’s tough for us young can-survivors but we have an inner strength which somehow pulls us through and learn to look at other things in life for happiness and fulfilment.
    Put flowers in the water for you again Ellie as was worried as you hadn’t posted – rosemary, a beautiful bunch.
    God bless, always thinking of you
    Amanda – Cape Town x x

    Reply

  32. Elizabeth
    Apr 03, 2012 @ 21:47:13

    I love your writing Ellie.
    I am finding it harder to know how to reply to your posts, but I don’t want to say nothing. My children really have been driving me quite mad the last few days, but I have to give myself a reality check when I read you blog.
    You are such a star.
    xx

    Reply

  33. Dave Hollingdale
    Apr 04, 2012 @ 12:35:55

    Well Now young Ellie another positive post my friend, I think of you as a friend now.Your Tom I know will be perfectly happy with you.
    Sometimes Ellie people can be thoughtless in what they say and sometimes they simply don’t know what comment to make,
    Your blogging is inspirational to all your readers, and they in turn I am sure offer their thanks to you.
    Every good wish to you and yours.

    Take Care Davex

    Reply

  34. Ann Newman
    Apr 05, 2012 @ 10:54:05

    Dear Ellie, I always seem to write the same thing to you – your strength is amazing and your purpose phenomenal. You are an inspiration to anyone who has an ache or pain. I think these crass remarks do indeed come from people who really have no idea what to say, and of course it can be difficult, but your positive attitude makes it much easier. A good friend of ours has just lost her battle with motor neurone disease. She had the same attitude to her illness as you have to yours and that in turn helped all of us to support her. That is why your own attitude does the same for you. We all support you and your Tom in your fight and are with you all the way through your horrid treatments and help you to get past those thoughtless remarks. Love Ann x

    Reply

  35. Patricia Springbett
    Apr 05, 2012 @ 17:51:33

    Oh Ellie, I could cry when I read your amazing blogs because my daughter went through exactly the same thing. She was surrounded by older women and felt so isolated. When she was having chemo she used to watch other people in the room and get the giggles as she always found something funny about them. (Like the woman with no teeth trying to eat an egg sandwich). She used to make such naughty comments she had me in stitches. You are so like her, and she made her wedding because love keeps you going. You are surrounded by so much love that hopefully it will keep you going for years and years and years. I pray that is the case.
    I wonder if you have read Ruth Picardie’s book “Before I Say Goodbye”. She wrote several columns in The Guardian, I think,about her cancer, and her husband put the book together after she died. It is a brilliant book and full of similar situations to yours. Please don’t think it is a depressing book – sadly she didn’t make it but it is full of humour, positivity and bravery. You too are brave and full of wit – I love reading your blogs. I am looking forward to hearing all about your wedding and I hope you put a load of photos on your blog. Keep smiling and you are in my thoughts.
    Love, Paddy

    Reply

  36. Gill
    Apr 05, 2012 @ 22:53:37

    Hi Ellie
    A post I can really relate too – diagnosed with breast cancer last year aged 30. I feel like an ‘inbetweener’ – too old for all the support aimed at children and teenagers but facing very different challenges to older women facing breast cancer. I’m always asked ‘how did you find it’ ‘is there a family history’ etc

    Anyway I’ve started a project trying to set up a discount card for young people who are having cancer treatment. The discounts are going to be for places like clothes shops, book shops, food shops, restaurants, leisure centres hopefully. Its similar to the NUS student card. For me as a single woman I have had to rely on my Mum to support me as the govt help is pitiful – a massive loss of independance there and everytime I buy something that I want rather than need I feel guilty about spending her money – she’s nearly a pensioner I should be looking after her!

    So I would love to hear your thoughts on the idea if you get a chance, it’s called the Hibiscus Project and should be easy to find on google, I haven’t put the website address up as don’t want it to appear to be spamming etc.

    Great blog Eliie
    Take care
    Gill x

    Reply

    • Anouska
      Apr 09, 2012 @ 05:14:42

      Hi Ellie, hi Gill. Just wanted to say I think the discount card is a great idea! I’m a 35 year old breat cancer patient and am facing financial struggles because of my diagnosis (a single mum going through chemo, double mastectomy & radiotherapy) I’m off to google it now. I’m always told I don’t look my age and wish I had a penny for everytime someone said ‘But you’re so young. Do you have family history?’ (I don’t!) Keep up the good work girlies. Lots of love to you both xx

      Reply

      • Gill
        Apr 09, 2012 @ 09:53:34

        Hi Ellie, Hi Anouska

        Lovely to hear from you Anouska although shame it is under these circumstances. I’m so glad you wrote that message as I’d had a low weekend thinking I didn’t have it in me to get the project going, and feeling like hiding under the duvet all bank holiday. But no! Straight back on it today! I only finished chemo 3 weeks ago so the progress has been a little slow but hopefully something will come of it soon.

        I don’t know about anyone else on here but I’ve spent the bank hol sulking while everyone else gets on with their normal lives. I know it’s up to me to get out there and get on with living but sometimes I find it hard surrounded by people who are sympathetic but just don’t get it! And other young people who just make all their plans wihtout any regards really whereas I worry about making plans incase treatment scuppers them.

        Ok oops didn’t mean to go into a moan on Ellie’s blog I guess I was just wondering whether other folks felt the same or if it’s just me and I need a kick up the ass!

        Hope you’ve had a lovely weekend

        xx Gill

    • claire leng
      Apr 09, 2012 @ 16:01:40

      Hi Gill
      Im Claire im 37 and have primary liver cancer, im married and have 2 boys (they keep me on my toes!). I can totally relate to how you have been feeling over the holidays, ive been the same, really ill yesterday from the chemo that im having i really didnt feel like i could keep going yesterday, but today i realise again that i cant afford the negativity in my life there is just to much to live for, i cant let this fucker beat me! But it is totally normal to feel this way, good days and bad days, but we have to make most of the good ones and embrace them, you are not alone, unfortunately there are a lot of us young cancer survivors about. The Hibiscus Project sounds brilliant i would definately use it. Anyway keep going Gill, we can do this, im always happy to chat anytime if you like.
      Lots of love Claire xx

      Reply

    • Anouska
      Apr 09, 2012 @ 20:17:01

      Gill, I’m sorry you’ve had a rubbish weekend… it’s a bugger but there seems to be no rule book and people who haven’t been through it just don’t get it. And why would they?!

      I finished chemo 4 weeks ago and am booked in for surgery next week (17th) A double mastectomy with reconstruction seems like a walk in the park compared to chemo, which 4 weeks on is still throwing up side effects… My nails are now falling off!! Not content with robbing me of my hair, eyebrows and eyelashes, chemo is now claiming my finger and toenails too!! I have managed to maintain my sense of humour and keep upbeat and positive but I have some moments when I do just think “What is this all about?!” Maybe it’s the time of year or something, that we all seem to be having a tough time of it. It does feel like everyone else is getting on with their lives and making plans and I can’t because I don’t know how I’ll feel or if my scan appointments will come through or if my oncologist will want to see me…. And then there’s the lack of chocolate!! I’ve recently given up dairy because there seems to be a link between breast cancer and dairy. Everyone else is tucking into their Easter eggs while I sit silently begging my nail not to drop off!!

      My email address is anouska.bush@hotmail.com if you want to get in contact, I’m only too happy to chat, listen or rant at if you want to. I think the weekend you’ve had is to be expected and ‘normal’ given the shite you’ve had to deal with. I’m learning to be much more selfish and doing just what my body tells me now and do just what I feel like. I’m calling this time ‘my sabbatical’ as I will never have the chance again to just lounge around spending hours in bed if I feel like it! (it took a few months but now I do it guilt-free) I’m looking forward to getting back to normal, back to work and back in the gym but for now, I’m enjoying being a bit of a princess.

      The Hibiscus Project does sound like an amazing idea and the website looks good. Well done you and I really hope you get the backing you deserve.

      Lots of love and here’s to a better week 😃 xx

      Reply

  37. Maria
    Apr 07, 2012 @ 09:28:32

    “But you are so young.” It is one of those one-way statements compelled by a powerful emotion. One just blurts it out. It is definitely not a conversation starter. Seing someone too young to be stricken by such an illness, one tends to think of all the young people in one’s life in a flash. “But what if my niece/sister/daughter/granddaughter/friend/ were affected?” Could it be possible? How to respond correctly to this instant feeling of fear induced compassion without sounding silly I don’t know. Perhaps, you’d like to give us some guidance on how to behave properly in such a situation by writing something funny and educational in your usual style. Like a step-by-step guide on “What Not To Say When You Are Startled By Seeing Someone Like Me”. So, we can follow it.

    That might help us understand the situation better. I am thinking of some light-hearted illustrations coming with your book like the ones in language books for excercising short conversations. There must be someone with a sketchbook out there thinking along the same line. So, I encourage you to went out your frustrations. They are as useful as your positive thinking. This way, we can see the whole picture. Just keep up your brilliant writing to face the monster. Let’s see its ugly face from all angles and scare the Hell out of it and chase it away.

    Is there anybody out there with a sketchbook?

    Reply

  38. Sandra Carlsson
    Apr 07, 2012 @ 13:17:28

    http://pollynoble.com

    another young blogger with the BIG C and many tips!
    ;)

    Reply

  39. Amanda Power
    Apr 07, 2012 @ 18:42:21

    Happy Easter Ellie xx

    Reply

  40. LauramcG
    Apr 07, 2012 @ 20:36:58

    Ive just recently come across your blog! I find it so refreshing and inspirational! As a health professional I must admit I have a tendency to ask more questions regarding diagnosis and show perhaps a little bit more interest in younger patients who I come into contact with- I will keep this blog in mind the next time I feel myself starting to ask the questions!!
    Keep on fighting, all the very best! Lx

    Reply

  41. alicewoolf
    Apr 09, 2012 @ 14:31:31

    I love this blog and think you’re so brave. I was good friends at school with the girl who set up Maggie’s, named after her mother who had cancer. So glad it’s helping you.

    Reply

  42. Amanda Power
    Apr 11, 2012 @ 18:50:43

    Blog Ellie – we miss you. Let us know you are ok and had a good Easter. X x

    Reply

  43. Becki
    Apr 13, 2012 @ 14:08:27

    Hi Ellie

    I just wanted to let you know that I am, as ever, thinking of you and your battle. Keep on fighting no matter how hard it seems, it will all be worth it.
    Sending hugs and kisses xxx

    Reply

  44. Liz Luff
    Apr 13, 2012 @ 15:17:58

    Hello Ellie,

    A former colleague, Clare Burton, tipped me off about your blog – it’s everything she said it was and more.

    In fact, it’s so revealing it’s almost too painful to read as it brings back so many memories of my sister’s fight with cancer.

    I’m not medical but I deal with cancer a lot in my work life. I’m very privileged to look after PR for the Sir Bobby Robson Foundation and a new cancer symptoms awareness campaign launching soon.

    I fear I may be becoming the ‘go to’ person for cancer related PR in the north east. Sometimes not very cheerful – but always extremely worthwhile.

    In fact, there are times when I feel like the word cancer won’t leave me alone – but then I’m very lucky that so far, physically, it has left me alone.

    I talk to people fighting this disease regularly and while I can relate to the feelings of the patients’ family I can’t truly relate to what you’re going through. Please keep writing and giving us all some insight.

    Liz (@lizlongstonepr)

    Reply

  45. Jane
    Apr 15, 2012 @ 09:08:36

    hi Ellie – Hoping all is okay with you? I am thinking of you. xo

    Reply

  46. Melissa (chrissa's friend)
    Apr 16, 2012 @ 22:01:06

    Your strength, bravery and outlook continues to be an inspiration. Keep believing … And when you lose the strength to do so for a while, know that we are all believing for you. X

    Reply

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