The End of the Rocky Road

Sit down and move your tea away from the keyboard; here’s the post I hoped I would never have to write…

On Wednesday Tom and I travelled to The Cotswolds to see a herbalist, exploring further alternative treatment to complement Professor Hope’s conventional medical approach.  I’ll skip the part about the picturesque surroundings, the 17th century limestone hotel and get to straight to the serious bit. From now on I will be giving up sweets, chocolate, cake and (I’m shaking as a I type this) Rocky Road.

Ever since I was a little girl I have loved chocolate raisins, a weakness I inherited from my grandma Betty who always had bags of them lying around the house – some of which I suspect to have been months out of date, hastily grabbed from a drawer to keep me quiet.  Then two years ago my innocent fix took a sinister turn onto a much harder confectionery; when I found Rocky Road I was hooked.  It was just like chocolate raisins but with extra good stuff; Rice Crispies, marshmallow and e numbers galore! Alas, our beautiful relationship has now tragically ended in Splitsville, and it’s the herbalist who will be cited as the third party in the divorce papers.

Contraband!

Gone too on his recommendation are alcohol, red meat, shellfish and dairy; in are more vegetables, brown rice, brazil nuts and rye bread. White meat and fish are still allowed as is the occasional tipple so it all feels very manageable, and as well as helping to tackle my diet he also offered further encouragement that I truly can influence my destiny.

As well as a sense of purpose, we also left carrying five, very suspect-looking bags of Chinese herbs. I was relieved we had driven rather than getting the train, as an arrest at Brixton tube would have been a dead cert. The process of soaking the herbs, boiling them up and straining them in our little kitchen is a chore, but the hardest part is definitely getting two cups a day down me. It’s not as bad as the green shit but certainly no Maccy D’s chocolate milkshake!

And for those of you wondering how the week went on the new drug, I’m happy to report that it went surprisingly well.  Aside from feeling a bit tired and my right eye still being a bit bleary I have to say that this is the best chemo I’ve been on. I don’t want to tempt fate as I have just had the second injection today, but so far so good. It helped that I had an amazing chemo nurse looking after me. She was like a proper old school matron; on the ball, authoritative yet kind – and she got a vein straight away!

The hair is coming out thick and fast now and there are a few bald patches appearing at the back, but I think that this is more from the whole brain radio rather than the chemo.  I’m desperate to be well this week as a friend from home has organised a charity fashion show for Coppafeel back in Middlesbrough.  Lora has put so much effort into it, as well as getting support from local businesses and friends, so I would love to be able to attend to show my appreciation for her amazing hard work. Hair or no hair, as long as I feel well I’ll be there.

So that’s me.  Cracking on with the treatment and mourning the end of a relationship I thought would be life long.  If you want to do something for me this week then I have one small request.  Treat yourself to a bit of Rocky Road for me, please…

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91 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Paul Spitere
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 22:58:41

    FIrst of all you scared me with the title of this post… You are so cruel… I dropped my tea whilst planning my lessons!!!

    Second of all, funnily enough I did have some rocky road today, a colleagues birthday and they are wonderful!!! I had about five little pieces throughout the day… I knew there was a good reason I was a glutton… I was eating for two (GOD DOES THAT SOUND WRONG!)

    Very happy to read the post and I had a good feeling and a positive energy when I read the rest of your post, after cleaning up the mess of tea!

    I remained gripped to your updates oh hero of ours! You are our hero of this masterpiece, and you will prevail!

    Much love

    Paul

    Reply

    • Debbie
      Nov 29, 2011 @ 11:36:43

      Totally agree with Paul. Had popped into to read your blog during my coffee break here in Portugal and let out a big “no”. Needless to say then had to explain, but only after reading the rest.

      Again in agreement with Paul in as much as have a positive energy and upbeat feeling.

      Take care and keep us posted. With a huge hug from the Algarve.

      Reply

  2. Mary Burridge
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 23:02:21

    Oh did you ever lead me astray! Move my tea away from the keyboard… I thought I was going to cry! BUT all it was was the end of eating junk and a report that your new drug went surprisingly well. Good for you, dear friend :) Sorry about your hair – again. I hope you make it to the fashoin show.
    Love and blessings to you and Tom,
    Mary in Canada

    Reply

  3. Helen Foulds
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 23:14:48

    Good stuff sounds like you’ve found something else that’s helpful. You’re a real inspiration. I’ll be off down the shops in the morning to get some of the good stuff BUT I’m afraid I won’t eat it. I’m going to store it on your behalf to send over when you finish this xxxxx. Glad the chemo is manageable x

    Reply

  4. Tony Songhurst
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 23:16:42

    Ellie, I am so sorry, this is a heartbreaking post!

    There is a way round this though….my Integrative Therapist (similar to your herbalist) has put me on a diet pretty much the same as you….I have loads of supplements and have green stuff topped up with wheatgrass, algae among other lovely things…. Dr Kate James knows my sweet tooth and say that it relates to my spleen needing nourishment so things like lentils etc will help….

    Anyways she sent me this recipe which is a brilliant replacement to sugary sweets and rocky road.

    Carob Powder (tastes sh*& on its own)
    Coconut oil
    Lecithin
    Dessicated coconut
    Nuts like Brazil nuts or walnuts (crushed or broken up in small bits)
    Raisins
    Glace cherrys
    Honey

    You melt the Coconut Oil – about 2-3 tablespoons in a small saucepan
    Once the coconut oil is melted turn off the heat and add 2 tablespoons of carob powder, 1 tablespoon of lecithin granules, a couple of dessert spoons of dessicated coconut, a couple of teaspoon of honey and whatever else is left or you fancy.

    Unfortunately you cant add marshmallows as that is sugar.

    Stir it all together and place in a glass dish or one of those 2ltr Icecream cartons. Pop in the freezer for a while and transfer after about 30-40 minutes to the fridge…once it is hard then it can be broken up and eaten!

    It really is delicious…you can pass to your herbalist if you need to to see what they think although my therapist seems to think as long as you use minimal sugar except that little bit of honey.

    Cheers

    T x

    Reply

  5. Melanie Richardson
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 23:21:53

    God, Ellie, don’t do that! OK, I was laughing at the end, but you made my tummy do a triple toe loop on the way. Having experienced the shit herbal tea, yeah, actually getting it down is a challenge. And the smell! But all good stuff going into you girl, to help push the bad stuff out. Keep strong. xx

    Reply

  6. Sue
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 23:26:16

    You daft bat! You frightened the life out of me when I read the heading and the first few words!! I have a feeling that when all this is over you will be inundated with Rocky Roads, but in the meantime keep up your amazing sense of humour and don’t mourn too much for your hair, hari comes back, life does not. Be good, well maybe be a bit naughty! Lots of love, Sue xxx

    Reply

  7. Laura
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 23:26:24

    You got me with that title as well! Rocky road will have to be your wedding meal pudding! Great to hear that your treatment is going well. Everything is crossed for you. I hope you and your family have a fantastic Christmas xx

    Reply

  8. Lisa Facey
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 23:44:57

    You trickster you…. I will forgive you though and to prove that I am the forgiving type I will be breaking my no carbs diet (which has seen me lose 10lbs) and stuff my face with some Rocky Road. In your face Dr Dukan (it’s his diet).
    Good to hear that the treatment is not treating you too badly.

    Reply

  9. Jan
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 23:47:24

    Ahh Ellie, you little tinker…..

    I almost did not want to read your Blog Ellie…and when I did, I read it superfast to get to the end quickly ….. thankfully with a huge smile on my face, as usual your talent for writing in such a humorous way was hilarious…..
    . I conjured up a picture of you all in the kitchen, concocting potions, bubbling away in test tubes, …
    Hope the fashion show goes well, that you are well enough make it, and that it raises shed loads of money!!!!
    I wish you , and all your amazing family a Fab Christmas, I will definitely go out and buy some Rocky Road, and toast you, Ellie. Keep strong , and know, all us ‘bloggers’ are willing you to get well, I look forward to your next entry…
    love
    Jan xx

    Reply

  10. Joan Zia
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 23:47:56

    You have a wonderful attitude and sense of love and life! Nothing can knock you down, you are brilliant..
    I truly believe that you DO have a Guardian Angel with you,yes.
    Oh,Ellie, you inspire us all.
    You put me to shame, for my own far minor worries!
    With my admiration and love,
    Joan xxx

    Reply

  11. Asha
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 00:36:07

    Thanks God you doing well!!! i really admire your determination and streagth,all the best with natural remedies.It’s not easy to keep off sweeties but seems like you have to! oh dear i love your brilliant humour.
    lots of love, Asha xxxx

    Reply

  12. Katy
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 00:47:17

    Hi Ellie
    Clare Burton shared this on FB and I’ve just spent the last hour reading your blog. Brilliantly written and I’m right behind you on getting rid of the cancer dude…
    I’m a chocolatier based in Dunbar (Google rock lobster Dunbar) and I’d like go send you and Tom some Himalayan salted caramels – if you’d like some – just let me know your details and I’ll send them along. And they’re better than rocky road!
    Will be thinking of you x Katy

    Ps if you fancy a song you can’t possibly it dance to, look up a song by a Norweigian band called Datarock called Fafafafa

    Reply

  13. Just call me K
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 01:58:21

    I was just thinking of you Ellie as I was watching this youtube link a friend sent me http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfTjlfLGBv0&feature=youtu.be it’s a bit long (59 mins) but I think it’s inspirational…i’m not sure if spiritual stuff is your cup of tea but you mentioned before that you are doing meditation. Anyway, I’ll leave the link for you to check out. Best wishes and I’ll have one of these rocky road’s you mention, any excuse to stuff my face with chocolate :-) x

    Reply

    • Tony
      Jan 01, 2012 @ 22:38:07

      Hi, I just watched this and as a Terminal Cancer patient have seen so many of these types during my personal research…I am looking desperately for a cure but listening to this chap who’s only and brilliant skill is that he can talk and is believable…. he unfortunately doesn’t inspire me to do anything other than switch off. I am really sorry to talk this way and I hope I don’t come across in a bad light it is just I have listened to hundreds of hours of footage and recordings looking for a cure and there is rarely anyone out there that sounds ‘real’ – Much Love to all Tony xxxx

      Reply

  14. Gill
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 02:03:43

    I’m sorry Ellie, I just can’t do it, I can’t eat that Rocky Road for you. You see you’ve raised my awareness, participated in my awakening, helped me to see the light.
    It was no great shocker to me to learn that I had chosen to live in a place where one third of the population is obese – Jeez, just check out the portion sizes at the diner! Nor was I moved by the knowledge of the illnesses this causes because that would never happen to me!
    But in the past couple of years, as I’ve lost my dad, and as I’ve followed your progress, I’ve begun to figure things out. I’ve discovered some really great sources of info, as you have.
    On TED.com I saw an awesome talk by William Li (Can we eat to starve cancer?) and watched a couple of great documentaries (Food Matters, and Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead) and I’ve done a little reading (Andrew Weil – Healthy Aging) and I’ve decided that I’m on board with you.
    I’ve found a juice bar around the corner that will make me a shot of wheatgrass for 2 bucks and will juice a ton of veg for me for 6 bucks. Sure it’s gonna take some adjustment because no one loves pizza more than me, and I know a store that sells Cadbury’s imports from the UK! But I think I’m more important than a candy bar, so goodbye chocolate, hello krill oil, soymilk and raw anything.
    So as I finish up my spinach salad (I still surprise myself sometimes) I raise my mug of green tea to you! And I thank you for sharing your amazing journey, and I think of you every day <3

    Reply

  15. Nicola
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 04:13:32

    I found you like many others on the Daily Mail, and have now subscribed to updates from you. I find your attitude incredibly inspiring and I wish you well. I can picture you smiling and radiant at your wedding, and I do think that you should indulge in some rocky road on your wedding day. The very best of wishes. You are amazing.

    Reply

  16. mimi
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 05:02:53

    You’re right about tackling the food stuff.
    Apparently cancer loves acidic foods ( sugar especially) and hates alkaline food ( veggies, brown rice etc)
    People have been said to be helped by eating following macrobiotic principles, there are a few videos on you tube about cancer survivors talking about this:

    http://www.youtube.com/user/saveyourlife#p/u/4/fxbjeJquBok

    Might be worth a look?
    I’ve managed to clear up chronic ailments by simply tweaking my diet and cutting out the sugary crap ( it’s not easy, for sure though!) Good luck!

    And you will be beautiful for your wedding. You’re gorgeous and this isn’t going to change :)

    Sending loads of good vibes from Australia.
    xxx

    Reply

  17. Olivia Richwald
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 07:07:57

    Hi Ellie,
    I didn’t know you had cancer until now and I just read every word of your amazing blog, middle of the night or not. I haven’t got your eloquence or wit but here’s my best wishes and prayers. Have you tried lining the Chinese herbal drinks up in shot glasses?
    Love,
    Olivia x

    Reply

  18. Ntokozo
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 07:20:00

    I think you should collect all these posts and put them together into a book, it will be a good read indeed. Thanks for making my heart stop for a bit LOL, I absolutely adore your attitude, honestly, I have a big smile on my face as I write this, you got us good. I hope you’ll be able to attend your friend’s function.

    STAY POSITIVE & STAY BLESSED

    Reply

  19. Karen Bayliss
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 09:21:50

    Lovely to see that feisty spirit fighting back. Praying that the new regime will help you massively. Take care

    Reply

  20. Tracie carter
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 09:25:36

    Dear Ellie, thank you for your funny post, having battled weight issues all my life I never indulge in anything “naughty” the weekend my son said to me why for once in your life don’t you just order and eat something you enjoy. I looked at him with scorn and ordered a dry piece of grilled chicken no chips just a few lettuce leaves, whilst rest of table ate steaks and Chips lol. I turned my head away when the desserts came for me milk in my coffee is as good as it gets. I don’t drink etc my son just said to me your not living your existing mother.

    I saw your post today and you really moved me today I am going to do something I’m going to track down this rocky road and sit quietly and eat it with joy and no beating myself up and think of you and send you thanks for opening my eyes to so much hugs girl……get ready to feel the love coming from me later when I eat it x x x

    Reply

  21. jeannine nye
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 09:51:07

    You are cracking on girl, just like you said you would… such great positive vibes too…. those chinese herbs do work, I know from personal reasons that my daughter who had crohns got a lot better after getting rebalanced from using them, and my daughter in law overcame her body difficulites to get pregnant, so I am sure they will help in rebalancing your body to great affect… it must be hard to lose hair, but it will grow back again Im sure… so keep on trucking !!!!!

    Reply

  22. Jennieflorist
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 10:24:45

    Hi Ellie,

    oh no that’s really shitty news! Every girl needs her choccie fix once in a while, though mine are getting closer together these days! I know at the end of the post you ask us all to have a bit of Rocky Road for you, but I am going to go one better than that and join you, cut out all the crap and eat healthy meals,(promise to start in January..haha) and I am going to call it “The Ellie Diet”!!! Its sound like we should all be eating like that?
    You sound in really high spirits hope the treatment is going well.xxx

    Reply

  23. alison
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 10:26:41

    Awww honey no choc….bad times! Glad you arent feeling too bad (apart from the choc ban) thinking and praying for you xxx

    Reply

  24. Francis Cheung
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 11:15:50

    Dear Ellie,

    Just as I was wondering when your blog would be updated, the latest update appears and I went numb ad I read your entry. It has only been days since a true gent Gary Speed suddenly took away his own life, so this was all too much for me to take. I feel for you and your fiancee and of course your other loved onea! All I could say is your bravery and optimism is just absolutely amazing and if anyone is gonna beat cancer, it’s you, iron lady! Keep up the spirit! Your story is an inspiration to many and I sincerely hop that you will defeat cancer once and for all and be back to your normal health soon!

    Best regards,
    Francis

    Reply

  25. catharina
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 11:58:14

    I’m sorry Ellie, we dont have Rocky Road in the Netherlands. I’m sorry you may not have it. I wish you strenght sweety! I burn my candle every day for you. I hope you visit the charity fashion show!
    big hug!

    Reply

  26. camuah
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 12:08:03

    Fret not my cherie – you’ll be back on the Rocky Road before you know it ;)

    Reply

  27. Marianna
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 12:14:50

    Just to echo the first comment Ellie……YOU SCARED ME!!!!! XXXXX

    Reply

  28. gary
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 12:18:38

    Great post Ellie, thinking of you every day. Stay strong and beat this s**t, you can do it. Love Gary X

    Reply

  29. Vanessa Birtwistle
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 12:19:29

    A small sacrifice … when you’re well, you can celebrate with a rocky road fest. Take care and continue to be our inspiration :O)

    Reply

  30. Laura S
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 12:50:29

    Oh you had me so worried. My heart dropped when I read the first line.
    Farewell Rocky Road, hope the new regeime isn’t too bad, come January we’ll all be on it!
    Thinking of you and praying for you
    L

    Reply

  31. Jennieflorist
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 13:08:12

    Just want to 2nd 3rd and 4th that you scared me too! I was like ooohhh chocolate thats okay then…! xx

    Reply

  32. Hannah
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 13:23:43

    Had a real chuckle to myself remembering the mouldy old chocolate raisins Nanna used to have scattered over her tea tray and stored away in old paper bags! Also had a chuckle about the image of you with suspect herbs on the tube at Brixton!
    Will definately have a piece of Rocky Road for you my dear.
    Fingers crossed that the chemo continues to do well – and everything else crossed too!
    Much love to you my dear.
    Hxxxxx

    Reply

  33. Cate
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 13:24:04

    My heart lurched for a moment there! I’ll raise a cup of coffee and cake in your honour. You’re a star! Glad to hear the chemo’s behaving nicely. :-)

    Reply

  34. Linda Ann McCrea
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 14:05:01

    Dear Ellie
    Thanks for quirky update .Oh me of little faith,I thought some treatment protocol was blocked due to finances !
    Yipee!! the best chemo to date. Praise God- that in itself is wonderful .Your drug cocktail will zap these grubby invadersthis time as you analogised in an earlier blog .What a hateful disease .
    I volunteer for a local cancer charity in northern ireland and if Ihear any innovative news I shall inform you.
    Love &Blessings& loads of hugs too for a speedy recovery and time to enjoy wedding preparations soon.
    Linda Belfast

    Reply

  35. Mirjam
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 15:34:49

    Ellie, you are a “bad” person, scaring me like that! I’ve had the Chinese herbal tea as well as I have endometriosis and I tell you that, it is vile! I had to pinch my nose to drink it and had to have a pint of water afterwards.
    Sorry to hear you have to give up your rocky road but I’m sure there are other snacks you can have that don’t have sugar in them. Great news about the chemo though, hope you are well in no time so that you can fully focus on your wonderful man and your wedding.
    xxx

    Reply

  36. I'd Rather Be In Iceland
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 16:16:08

    Believe it or not my boss has brought in Rocky Road today! So I had to have some for you…

    Reply

  37. Adrienne Ross
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 16:41:42

    I think you are fantastic. You manage to make everyone laugh and cry at the same time. Enjoy your food, whatever it is – as one with a real sweet tooth, I do sympathise! Thinking of you. Love from the Jewish Geordie mother/grandma.

    Reply

  38. tracey
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 17:10:19

    Hi Ellie

    Well its kinda positive, I mean the treatment seems to be going your way, just a bummer about the stuff you cant eat, and love :( life sure sucks sometimes!

    Still think about you lots, and sending all the best to you………if I dont get to message before have the fabiest xmas ever, and bring on the new year:) xxxx

    Reply

  39. Mrs Smiles
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 17:29:23

    You scared me then! Fantastic news that you’re ditching the crap. I’m walking down that road at the moment and funnily enough after a few days you lose the sweet tooth and feel very smug when watching others reach for the choccy. Carrot batons and hummus are your best friends when you need a quick snack. And don’t worry if you occasionally fall off the wagon – just getting back on track is the important thing. You’re in my thoughts :)

    Reply

  40. Rae
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 19:29:27

    I’ve heard a lot of great things about diet changes with cancer patients, so I hope it has that positive effect for you too!

    Reply

  41. Rocky Road
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 23:19:10

    I ‘m following your blog as a quiet reader for some time. You are a wonderful, brave woman, Ellie, and an inspiration to us all. Thanks for sharing your true self with us.

    Reply

  42. Sarah White
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 23:29:42

    Ellie
    I have been following your post for a couple of months now and thought it was about time I wrote my own message of encouragement. Such a beautiful brave and funny woman but also a bit cruel – like everyone else I too feared the worst when I started to read your latest blog!!! – though as a fellow choc & junk-oholic I am not sure I could cope as well with this latest blow!!
    Sending lots of love, respect, positive thoughts and my upmost admiration for you and your family. Keep fighting: you will beat the fucker x x x

    Reply

  43. Jane
    Nov 29, 2011 @ 23:52:13

    hi Ellie – I too have done the Chinese herb thing. I didn’t kid myself it would cure any cancer but I found it very beneficial for my digestion and general well being and really did help with the chemo side effects. You get used to the smell although my children still complain about it.

    As for sugar – well I had a major sweet tooth especially for chocolate. I gave up all sugar 5 months ago (and that includes fructose so fruit juice is out although I have two pieces of fruit a day). I have done a few posts on it but more importantly I highly recommend a look at this lady’s blog http://www.sarahwilson.com.au/tag/sugar/ – she has great suggestions for filling in the vortex!! Seriously it was not as hard as I thought it would be.

    I am thinking of you all the way from Melbourne.

    xo

    Reply

    • Ellie Jeffery
      Nov 30, 2011 @ 09:53:32

      Thanks for the advice Jane. Weirdly my body seems to be craving all the good stuff and not the sugar at the moment. I’m still eating fish and organic chicken and lots of veg, tofu, nuts, avocado etc and I hope this doesn’t sound smug but it really is more than doable. I tend to juice carrots as I like the taste and I take two spoonfuls of Life Mel honey a day to help with the blood count while on chemo (it’s expensive but I’ve read good things about it) – and with all the cash saved on booze and Rocky Road I think I’m allowed the indulgence! Ellie x

      Reply

  44. Julie Turner
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 09:30:26

    You are an inspiration and are also very funny! Thinking of you. X

    Reply

  45. Rachel Wade
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 11:50:30

    *Eats piece of rocky road on the Isle of Lewis in Scotland (where there are lots of actual rocky roads) and sends you all the best wishes that are physically muster-able* Your blog is just amazing and as a result i’ve circulated the Coppafeel link around all my friends.x

    Reply

  46. Fiona
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 13:01:47

    Dear Ellie

    I only found you blog today and was working my way up thro’ your entries, feeling like I was getting to know you and what you are going through. Then I saw the last entry and I thought no – you can’t do this to me! I’ve only just found you, not even had the chance to comment and send you my thoughts and prays… but I made myself read the entry and now I sit very relieved though for some weird reason craving rocky road…!!!???!

    And please don’t laugh at this but when reading your Coppafeel entry I found myself copping a feel!

    Stick to the new diet and keep us posted on how it goes. Good luck with the fashion show and keep writing. x

    Reply

  47. Dominic Pett
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 13:38:38

    Sadly I have yet to taste the delights of this ironic sounding chocolate! That will be put to rights soon. In the meantime glad to hear that positive attitude is reaping positive rewards with the Chemo. Keep writing and making us all smile….just think how happy those teeth will be now! X

    Reply

  48. ladyleftfieldlover
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 15:19:46

    My heart skipped a beat too when I read your first paragraph! Is rocky road the stuff with marshmallows in? Anyway, hope and pray that all is going swimmingly.

    Reply

  49. Parisbird
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 15:57:13

    You scared me !! I am thinking of you and your incredible bravery
    You are an absolute true inspiration and a reminder to eveyone that we have so much to be grateful for. I know you have a tough time ahead , but you can do it , and beat this f*cking disgusting cancer.
    will try to find rocky road in Paris and have some for you
    and looking forward to the time when you can raise a glass and have some choccies.

    Reply

  50. Jenn
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 16:27:04

    Me too, my heart skipped a beat i tot to myself, oh no….i was like should i continue reading it, can i take it? phew…..wat a relief! am so glad that chemo went well. and i hope u’ll be able to attend ur fren’s charity fashion show! dress up, look good and have a ball ya! a toast to rocky road!

    Reply

  51. tessa
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 18:07:05

    Hi Ellie, mum and I toasted you with a Rocky Road in Starbucks today. Have taken some home and Izzy will no doubt scoff the rest when she gets in. Thinking of you loads, hope its all gone ok this week and hope you have a fab weekend oop north xxxxx

    Reply

  52. Ann Newman
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 19:10:34

    Ellie! You know what? You keep US all going as well as yourself! We all got that awful jolt at the start of your post, until you put us right and confirmed that you are still fighting, fighting, fighting. Now – this Rocky Road stuff. Not sure if I have had it or not. I did get a box of fab, chocolatey, crumbly, marshmallowey stuff from our local supermarket once. It was absolutely delicious – I assume that was it! I’ve got it on my list for the next shop and will toast your health as I eat. Keep up your strong, positive attitude. Go Girl! Ann x

    Reply

  53. Dave Hollingdale
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 23:08:00

    Well Young Ellie you continue to be positive and I take my Club Cap (Woking F.C.) off to you. I have a friend who is so ill and he copes not unlike yourself no words of mine can do you any justice.
    As for the Hair falling out I am sure you will still look lovely.

    Take care my friend
    Dave

    Reply

  54. Anna T
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 23:23:39

    So my ‘Movember’ Rocky Road snack at work today was for a double reason, having stumbled across your inspiring blog this evening. Take care, keep on keeping on and know that you’ve got a load of energy behind you all the way ; )

    Reply

  55. Rob
    Dec 01, 2011 @ 07:14:48

    Its official Ellie. You are Izzy’s favourite as the request of Rocky Road got the thumbs up from her :-). Here’s hoping you have a good week xx

    Reply

  56. laura
    Dec 01, 2011 @ 12:15:41

    I was worried when i read the opening lines….

    I Hope your ok Ellie. Thinking of you! x

    Reply

  57. SALLY CHESSON
    Dec 01, 2011 @ 17:39:50

    Hi Ellie

    I held my breath as I started to read your letter but thank goodness I very soon recovered and read the next part of your letter.

    With you all the way,sending you every shining star to increase your energy.
    So proud of you
    My love to your and your partner.
    Sally xxx

    Reply

  58. Caz
    Dec 01, 2011 @ 17:45:20

    Oh I nearly got sick there at the start…thank god all is going not so bad at the mo for you Ellie, Im delighted for you, stay strong ;) x

    Reply

  59. Beth Cowley Bentham
    Dec 01, 2011 @ 19:45:11

    I am sat at work….reading your blog, laughing from your wit and crying from your pain. You are such a strong women. A true inspiration, believe in yourself and a your strength. I wish I could find the words to express myself as beautifully as you do…. I will continue to follow your news and pray for luck and health for you xxxx

    Reply

  60. Georgia
    Dec 01, 2011 @ 20:59:54

    My friend Helena recommended your blog – you write brilliantly. I do hope the chemo continues to treat you kindly xGeorgia

    Reply

  61. Steve MacAlpine
    Dec 01, 2011 @ 23:59:44

    Hi Ellie, I’m a friend of your brother John,over here in OZ. He is as we say a great bloke …he just shared your story with me and I wanted to say hello and send you a bunch of positive vibes…keep meditating..read Eckhart Tolle (works for me) and enjoy every moment.
    Steve

    Reply

  62. Lisa
    Dec 02, 2011 @ 12:15:42

    It has taken me days to pluck up the courage to read your post ( how ridiculous considering what you are experiencing) Any hooooo, glad to hear you are doing OK….. The lack of rocky road is a bit of a fucker though I grant you. Lots of love and strength as always Ellie.xxx

    Reply

  63. Emma
    Dec 02, 2011 @ 12:58:53

    Ahhhh I feel your pain.. I’ve done an elimination diet and yes its a damn hard thing to start – but give it a week or two.. you’ll begin to feel fab :-D

    came over to read your blog from a link on stephen fry’s twitter – it wasn’t obvious what it was about, and then I read your front page.. i was a bit surprised, as my father in law has just been diagnosed – he sadly doesnt seem to have your brilliant attitude – and then your latest post, another surprise – as I live in the cotswolds – its true what they say – it really is a small world.. perhaps a small universe :-)
    for what its worth – i agree with your herbalist – you absolutely can/will/do influence your “destiny” so you may as well make sure that there is plenty of stuff in it that you actually want :-)

    am sure the fashion show will be ace xx

    Reply

  64. Alex
    Dec 02, 2011 @ 13:01:45

    I found this thanks to Stephen Fry’s Twitter. Read through the whole thing and I just want to say yay to Dr. Hope!! He’s kept this dream alive it seems reading through, good man.

    Reply

  65. Rhys Moreton
    Dec 02, 2011 @ 13:15:56

    First and foremost I wanted to say I hope you’re as we’ll as you can possibly be and judging from the las entry you’re in good spirits. Secondly I want to say I’m 110% awestruck by your mental strength and bravery. If people in this world all had your outlook on life and courage to fight and stand up the world would be a far better place. I have had two cancer scares in the last few years both of which were negative. I don’t for one second think I know what it’s like or how you feel, but I know I was crushed just having to be seen about potentially having it. The disease is a bastard and I wish with every ounce of my being I had a cure for you. To think people moan about not having enough money or a big enough house, makes me sick! All I can say is stay strong and beat this thing, you’re a beautiful person ALWAYS remember this.

    Kindest regards,

    Reply

  66. Mark
    Dec 02, 2011 @ 13:24:04

    Great post. I shall certainly have some rocky road today and think of you.

    My Father recently died after a short but good fight against brain cancer – funnily enough his sweet tooth really took over during those weeks and we also shared a lot of chocolate raisins!

    Keep on fighting and as my Father did really try and enjoy every day – something I certainly learnt during the last few weeks.

    Reply

  67. Sarah
    Dec 02, 2011 @ 14:43:07

    No chocolate?! As a serious chocoholic I will be more than happy to help out and eat your share.

    On the serious note, I stumbled across your blog this morning and have read through the lot. As someone who has been doing a lot of (very unnecessary) moaning recently, this has provided me with some much needed perspective. Your actions and attitude are truly inspirational and far from unrealistic – your strength and determination will get you through. Please please don’t give up your beliefs and keep fighting. I am amazed by you and the strength of the people around you – anyone who doesn’t support you 100% (including “professionals”) does not deserve a moment of your consideration.

    Reply

  68. debra
    Dec 02, 2011 @ 14:47:53

    Hi Ellie,
    I have just come across your blog via stephen Fry on twitter and I am so glad I did.You have helped me understand how my bestest pal is dealing with this f*ckwit of a disease. She had her breast removed 3 years ago and this year in May was told ( after months of treatment for sciatica), that the cancer was in her pelvis, shoulder and spine.Like you she has had radiotherapy (15 of) and is now on chemo every week as the cancer is now also in her bone marrow.She is fortunate that it is not in any of her organs at present and seems to be responding well to chemo.
    She also has a fantastic sense of humour and her best line yet was to me when we were talking about a close friend who was needing to be told that a hairstyle she was considering for an upcoming wedding was likely to be seen as a bit “mutton” for her. My friend said “I’ll tell her as she canny fall oot wi me after all I’ve got cancer .” These are the moments I love having her as my pal.
    Her oncologist from the start has been unwilling to accept that there is nothing more she can do for her and has said she will consider trying any trials or alternative therapy she can get her access to.
    I wish you all the very best for the future and will now be an avid reader of your blogs.

    Reply

    • Ellie Jeffery
      Dec 05, 2011 @ 18:20:14

      Hi Debra – it’s so great to read when patients have fantastic doctors on their case. I truly believe I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t swapped to Professor Hope. He is just fantastic but I can’t deny the impact those initial consultants had on setting us and our attitude back notches. Your friend sounds like she’s got the right attitude. We all have down day and it wouldn’t be normal not to but I’m glad she’s is coping as well as she is. Thanks for reading! Ellie x

      Reply

  69. Ros Willis
    Dec 02, 2011 @ 15:29:04

    Very clever double entendre (hope that’s how it is spelt!!) and yes caught me out too you naughty girl! A pleasure to keep up with you…hope it continues. x Rosi

    Reply

  70. Pam
    Dec 02, 2011 @ 15:42:15

    Hello Ellie, I too have just discovered your blog after being directed to it by Stephen Fry’s tweet. I read everything from August onwards and when I saw the title and read the first few lines of this blog my heart sank, only to soar a bit later when I read that you were still holding your own against this horrible disease. I’m a strong believer in the power of positive thinking when it comes to beating cancer. I’ve seen my much loved sister in law beat two different cancers over the last 25 years and now she is battling a third type but I have every faith that, like you, her positive attitude and refusal to give in will get her through.
    Ellie, I wish you all the very best. I don’t believe in a God so I won’t pray for you but I will send you my positive thoughts. You truly are an inspirational young woman.

    Reply

  71. Sheila MacKay
    Dec 02, 2011 @ 19:22:07

    Read your entire blog this afternoon. Couldn’t put it down. I think I got an insight into your unyielding spirit reading it all at one go, and when I got to this one, I just knew you were being light-hearted. I left my wine right where it was, beside the keyboard. My hubby had life-threatening bouts with cancer – 16 and 14 years ago, and he is very much still here, and enjoying life. Like you, he just refused to let cancer win.

    Reply

    • Ellie Jeffery
      Dec 05, 2011 @ 18:09:48

      I love reading stories like this Shelia – it gives me the confidence to believe nothing is written in stone – despite my original Doctors being so keen to put a timeframe on my life – I hope they have to eat their words in years to come! x

      Reply

  72. Zoe Springbett
    Dec 02, 2011 @ 19:41:53

    Hi Ellie,

    You are taking over the world! Stephen Fry? I just love him! The fact that he is such a fan of yours is surely proof that you really are an excellent writer. I definitely think all of this fabulousness should be published – it would make an excellent book.I’m sorry to hear about the Rocky Road business- bloody unfair you have to give up Rocky Road because the hideous “C” has taken you down a rocky road. Still, you’ll eat it again and I think a Rocky Road wedding cake, that someone mentioned earlier, is a great idea!

    You sound more positive than I have ever heard (or read!) you. You sound like you are in an incredibly strong place – I can feel it all the way down here in Brighton. Something has clicked in now and it really feels like you have turned a corner. I really believe that your positivity and unfailing strength is zapping the f£$% out of hideous “C” now. Keep it up! You may never want to eat chocolate again anyway Ellie. You are so pretty anyway, but I’m sure that with all this healthy eating you just look radiant. I’m sure your skin is amazing, when your hair grows back it will be as glossy and lustrous as in a shampoo advert, and you wont have an ounce of fat of you! You’ll probably never want to eat anything bad again!

    It’s so nice to read that with all the new things you try, you make it into a fun adventure with Tom. That just sums you up – rather than feel intimidated by long journeys and all the things there are to try/do to get you better, you just grab it with both hands. A fun little day trip to the Cotswolds to see the herbalist sounds great. Wherever you go on this horribly, unchocolatey, unraisiny, rocky road make sure you are in the driving seat NOT hideous “C”. If you have to go to Bournemouth for a wig – take a picnic and have it on the beach, if you have to go to Bath for an appointment with a healer – go to the Bath Spa, if you have to go to Birmingham to see a specialist – go to a wedding fair at the NEC? Know what I mean?

    Ellie you are AMAZING and I think of you every day. You are DOING THIS and it is such an honour to watch this miracle happening. Miracles DO happen, that is why the word exists in the first place – I’m sure you could ask your new mate Stephen all about that!

    Lots of love to you

    xxxx

    Reply

    • Ellie Jeffery
      Dec 05, 2011 @ 18:06:41

      Hi Zoe,
      Thanks for such an encouraging message. I got the head shaved this week – it’ll be in the blog after the next one but this time round feeling so much more positive about it. Just cracking on with it and feeling grateful that this chemo isn’t kicking the shit out of me! I hope you’re well xxx

      Reply

  73. lorly
    Dec 02, 2011 @ 21:55:37

    I had read your story in the Daily Mail and then again when Stephen Fry just mentioned you and the blog on Twitter, and I feel compelled to write a comment in the knowledge that you read all the posts.
    I just wanted to say working in the media, I tackle some hard real life stuff as you know from being in the news industry, and it can make you slightly jaded about the world and sometimes about life in general.
    But I have just been glued to your blog and your spirit and energy just comes right through in every single word you write. The bit you write about your conditioning to have such an unshakable belief and total conviction you will get through it is brilliant.
    Because something tells me that cancer has a massive fight on its hands with you, and has seriously underestimated who it is dealing with. You clearly have a gift for reaching out to people, a gift for fighting and a gift for appreciating exactly what is important.
    I have never ever left comments on anything before, but I felt compelled to write this because your spirit is truly incredible and you are a truly special person, who I am sure we will be reading about in the years to come.
    You have to publish this as a book, it’s amazing, and so are you,
    best wishes,
    lorly xxxxxx

    Reply

    • Ellie Jeffery
      Dec 03, 2011 @ 18:30:40

      What a lovely message to read Lorly – thank you. I’m slowly working my way through way all the comments and trying to reply to them all. Thank you for yours xxx

      Reply

      • lorly
        Dec 03, 2011 @ 20:58:14

        Ellie,
        Thank you for being inspirational and fantastic enough to share your world with us, never lose sight of what you have and are achieving with your blog, and how many lives you are touching, mine included!!!!
        Take care, I will be reading regularly and encouraging everyone I know to be doing the same, because you sum up in every single word what is important and what isn’t :-), and next time I am in Starbucks, I am having a Rocky Road on your behalf!!!
        xxxxxxx

  74. ellie
    Dec 03, 2011 @ 00:11:31

    you go girl. ug rocky road……ug ug to sweets……you do not need them, You are fantastic, you are a miracle and I am so happy to have found this site it just popped up…..I wish you the best each and every day. when my hair started to fall out I was driving home from work and my hair hurt and then I pulled on it and a big chunk came out and I through it out the window. when I got home my son buzzed my hair off. I am so glad you are posting. This is the season for miracles.

    love ya

    Reply

  75. Andie
    Dec 03, 2011 @ 12:56:31

    Oh my god you scared me with that title!!!!! If its Rocky Road you want me to eat, then sobeit! I’ll have an extra big piece and think of you xxx

    Reply

  76. suZan
    Dec 03, 2011 @ 19:56:16

    The human spirit is bigger and more capable than we sometimes give it credit for. Sounds like you are doing everything you can to win this fight! Save the Rocky Road for your Wedding Night :)) Much love being sent to you from Ontario, Canada. xo

    Reply

  77. lauren dell
    Dec 03, 2011 @ 21:57:39

    Haha! you’re fucking brilliant! such a great writer, I’ve also been reading some of the comments on here and if you followed all the suggestions you’d have a full time job just doing all juicingwalkingpositivethinkingreoxigenatinggreen stuff, so anyhoo just a mini mini suggestion from me, have you looked at the minerals by immunova, esp the zinc and selenium, and also coral calcium by the 7.5 ppl, i’m not an agent for either of them, honest! but both of them have had good results and just wanted to share. LOTS OF LOVE you go girl xxx

    Reply

  78. Christine Brewis
    Dec 05, 2011 @ 00:24:33

    I have just read your blog, with tears running down my face. I cannot believe how brave you are being , your sense of homour Is brilliant,thats being a northenern.You’ll win this”fight”.Keep in there xx

    Reply

  79. Sheila Sharpley
    Dec 06, 2011 @ 00:35:37

    When you think that you have gotten to the end of your rope…..tie a knot and hang on….Micah Malise (my 9 year old son) and me (Sheila) are praying for each and every night alll they way from
    Cleveland, Ohio….God Bless and and keep

    Reply

  80. Patricia Springbett
    Dec 06, 2011 @ 02:07:06

    I love reading your positive and amusing blog, and agree that you should make your blogs into a book; like the one written by Ruth Picardie.

    I smile, laugh, and cry whilst reading your blog. My daughter Zoe is following too, and writing comments; my other daughter Josie went through the same cancer, and kept going because she was in love, as you are. I am sure your positive outlook and the fact you are following a diet free from sugar and other nasties will get you through this; am with you all the way.

    If the number of your followers is keeping you going, you will still be here for many more years; I do hope so.

    Love, Paddy XXXXX

    Reply

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