Worse things happen in Milan

A plan has been devised; it’s time for more chemo. Hair falling out, eyebrows dropping off, eyelashes swept away-type chemo. Losing the hair on your head is invariably traumatic but for me it’s losing the eyebrows and eyelashes that really twists the knife. It annoys me to see some beautiful actress playing the cancer victim with a headscarf or bald head but with immaculate eye-brows and long luscious lashes. If you’re going to portray cancer then do it fucking properly; make her face look oddly featureless, her eyes small and undefined. Don’t sugar coat it because there’s nothing sweet about it at all.

And then of course there’s the wedding. What if it’s not back for the bloody wedding? You know, that one day a girl is supposed to look her best? The threat of having no lashes, no brows and maybe a buzz cut looms large amongst my worries. Maybe the title of my wedding blog will be Buzz Cut Bride. Sounds like a good comic strip character.

But of course I’ll do it. I’m happy to have a plan, as months off any medication has allowed the cancer to rampage unchecked. I picture it as some grubby squatter (no offence to any of you right-on Occupy lot) seeking out places of refuge to pitch a tent. Brain? Yes please. Lungs?  Nice and airy, ta. Liver? Bigger than expected but could be cosy with the right paraphernalia from Millets.

Then there’s a suspicious red mark on my chest that was worthy of a comment from Prof Hope today. It’s all a bloody worry and yet for some reason I can’t get stressed about it. I’m not sure why. Maybe because I’m not suffering any ill effects; I’m still here; functioning, getting around, living.

I’m meditating a lot which I’m convinced is helping.  I went to see an EFT therapist last week who was amazing. It’s strange to feel so calm in what should be a very traumatic time. For the moment I feel very accepting of what is to come.  I hope for minimal side effects and positive results. And I make no excuses to anyone when I say I truly believe I can beat this cancer.

Sometimes I feel that I have to justify myself for having faith in something miraculous, but why shouldn’t I have that as a goal? I have no idea why I am conditioned this way. I know I should be proud to believe in my ability to heal but instead I find myself worrying that people will think I’m in denial and kidding myself.

I have mixed feelings about the new drug.  It’s called Eribulin and has just been rejected by NICE.  I have managed to get it through a special cancer fund but have read of women who have been denied it, so there’s an element of guilt mixed in with my apparent good fortune. In the past I’ve reported about drugs getting rejected for work so it seems strange to be on the other side of the same news story.

According to the trials, Eribulin gives you an average of 13.1 months life expectancy compared to 10.6 on an already established drug. It’s not worth the funding, the people at NICE say. Of course, this is a highly controversial topic full of ethical questions and conundrums. All I know is that I’m thankful to be one of the lucky ones and I hope it does something really fucking nasty to the cancer. I’m talking bad-ass, evil, unmentionable shit.

And as all this goes on I feel so incredibly fortunate to have the most amazing man by my side. Tom makes me realise that there is a plan in there somewhere. To have met him and to be so in love and so at ease with someone is by far the greatest gift I have ever received. That, and friends who make me smile and surround me with so much support and kindness.

As I waited in the ward today with my friends Matt and Miffy, I was all geared up for the chemo when we were called into a room with the head nurse and pharmacist. Matt started rubbing my back and Miffy looked fearful. Here it comes, I thought to myself, another body blow. I quickly concluded that my blood results must have shown that my liver is in fact one giant tumour so there’s really no point in any chemo anyway.

“Because this drug has been rejected by NICE and you’re getting it on the special cancer fund everything needs to be completely signed-off, and unfortunately there is still a part of a form to be filled in. The person who can do that isn’t in until tomorrow so you’ll have to wait another day for treatment.”

Phew! We sighed with relief. “Worse things happen in Milan” Miffy remarked. Matt and I laughed; we had no idea what she was on about and neither did she but it seemed to sum up our thoughts perfectly as we mooched off into the grey, autumnal street.

no chemo today

About these ads

83 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Liza Pritchard
    Nov 21, 2011 @ 23:23:00

    Ellie you are truly inspiring. Much love xxxxx

    Reply

  2. kim
    Nov 21, 2011 @ 23:29:22

    Every time I read your blog I am reminded of what matters in life. You are so brave, a true fighter….you have such spirit. Keep in fighting xxx

    Reply

  3. Helen Foulds
    Nov 21, 2011 @ 23:32:22

    Good to hear there is a plan of attack and you’re in good spirits. And on the eyelash eyebrow side of things I went on a “look good, feel better” beauty day when I was having chemo (well worth going to if just for a chat and socialise with others in the same boat -and for the goodies!) and the most striking thing I still remember from that day was this beautiful woman who had no hair of any sort and she was simply stunning. The course taught her how to make the most of her features but she was so beautiful you almost forgot she was being treated (for aggressive breast cancer at 33 incidentally) and she just glowed. Cliche as it may be- and given your positive kick ass attitude I’m sure you’ll look fabulous eyelashes, eyebrows or nothing! Xxx much love and positive thoughts, Helen

    Reply

  4. Ann Newman
    Nov 21, 2011 @ 23:36:26

    Fighting. Fighting. Fighting. Brilliant strength Ellie. An inspiration to us all. Love and best wishes. Just keep it up. Ann x

    Reply

  5. ladyofthenorth
    Nov 21, 2011 @ 23:49:07

    Brilliant. Good to hear you being so positive and I think that’s half the battle, keeping upbeat. I’ve heard great things about meditation etc. Sending you well wishes xx

    Reply

  6. Rae
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 00:02:10

    Enjoy your day off and I hope everything goes off to a smooth start tomorrow! Maybe when you’re done you should take yourself on a celebratory trip to Milan!

    Reply

  7. Linda Ann McCrea
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 00:10:24

    Ellie &not forgetting Tom.
    Much love,blessings and prayers for tomorrow .May it be a good start .
    Do not feel guilty for those dear ladies who have not been given this trial drug .I watched a movie recently about Dr Denis Slayman a beautiful oncologist who believed in Herceptin and for 12 years he fought blood, sweat and tears to get Phase 2 &3 trials instigated .He had to reject those precious ladies whose bloods, scans etc showed least benefit and charge on with those who were receptive to Herceptin .
    It is a wonder drug and I believe yours shall be too Love and admiration Linda Belfast

    Reply

  8. Sally Bramald
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 00:12:32

    Wonderful blog post! I found you through someone on Twitter. You might not want to be an inspirational woman, but guess what, you are.
    This doesn’t mean you are not allowed to throw a wobbly like the rest of us mere mortals, but you are wonderful. Know this.
    I am so happy to hear you have a fab bloke at your side whilst you go through all this crap.
    And eyelashes? You can always get some stuck on for the day if you want.

    Reply

  9. Jan
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 00:14:23

    Hi Ellie,

    As usual your blog today made me laugh,.. you are such a gifted writer and I hope that in some way it is cathartic for you. I, like all of the other hundreds of readers wish you well for tomorrow, get zapping , and get rid!!!! You have the positive vibes of all of us coming with you…, love from a caring Mum,
    Jan xx

    Reply

  10. DEBORAH MORGAN-SMITH...........Surrey
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 00:28:36

    I wish you a continued peaceful feeling tomorrow Ellie when you begin your treatment. Hope it goes as well as it possibly can under the circumstances. One day at a time eh?

    God Bless
    Deborah XX

    Reply

  11. Carys
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 00:33:20

    As I read your latest blog it makes me immensely… in fact I’m not dressing this up hon….it makes me SO FUCKING PROUD of you. Never give in, never lose faith, keep planning, keep going AND FUCKING BEAT THIS. Having worked with me you will know my swearing is passion and not offense! Don’t lose focus oh and don’t forget how bloody beautiful you are. Lots of love Carys (Emma) xxx

    Reply

  12. LGD
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 00:55:54

    If I were you, I would be on a rampage! Unreasonable pile of useless man, whining like a 4 year old, and crying into his Coco Pops every morning wondering what I did to deserve this kind of hand in life.

    I’m glad you have a plan and are as centered as can be expected.

    I also hope Eribulin is an ass kicking, hobo evicting wrath of Ellie Jeffery, loaded with all the rage of Tom and friends and family to rip a sore nugget of pain into the big c for all the pain and heartache it is responsible for.

    Keep up the fight with all you can manage and kick some ass Ellie!!! Thinking of you and Tom…xxx

    Reply

  13. Nel
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 00:57:16

    You’re inspirational, Ellie.

    I do hope you beat the crap out of cancer.

    Peace,
    Nel

    Reply

  14. asha
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 01:23:13

    I wish you all the best may Allah see you through all this give you hope.I saw you on daily mail i said i have to follow.Thanks for sharing your experience.

    Ashaxxx

    Reply

  15. Cathy Harris
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 01:25:30

    I TOTALLLY know what you mean regarding eye lashes and eyebrows! When I lost mine, it sort of felt like my face was missing a frame. Does that make sense? I also remeber being totally hair free except for a lone hair that sprouted on my chin – it was just so comical to me that I couldn’t bring myself to pluck out the little fighter for quite some time! But I digress with what is probably TMI…keep up the good fight! Cathy from Houston, Texas.

    Reply

  16. Sally biddulph
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 01:33:22

    Ellie, you are amazing, there are no words to express my admiration and respect for you. We only worked together twice at itn, I barely know you and had no idea you had cancer. But I have been profoundly moved by the honesty and bravery of your blog. I have cried and cheered for you and hope with all my heart you beat the big c. You are incredible.

    Reply

  17. Nikki
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 01:40:20

    I couldn’t sleep so logged on and read your blog – hope you are having a good peace filled sleep tonight in preparation for tomorrows chemo session. I used to accompany my best friend when she was having chemo (I don’t know how you handle the needles – I nearly passed out once and I was just watching!) I love your attitude and just wanted to say – keep on believing :) Why the hell shouldn’t you be one of these stories you read about where you defy the odds and kick this diseases’ butt? And hair is over rated if you ask me – speak to Phil and Grant Mitchell!

    Reply

  18. Mary
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 01:41:20

    Hi Ellie and Tom

    Just wanted you to how how much your blog inspires me and I will be thinking of you tomorrow when you start the next stage of your treatment. I will be keeping everything crossed and picturing you in Milan!!

    Love and hugs Mary xx

    Reply

  19. Ysabel Llerena
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 04:06:31

    Ellie you look wonderful in that picture! you are so beautiful. Keep your chin up, I love you!
    Ysabel

    Reply

  20. Jane
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 04:14:00

    hi Ellie. The waiting is challenging. As an impatient person I found that really hard. I wanted to just get in, have my chemo and get out. Post haste. So it is frustrating for you to have to come back.

    And no matter how many people make light of it, losing your hair is traumatic and it sucks big time. Yes yes of course it’s better than dying, but you can say that about anything. Bear in mind of course that you MAY NOT lose your eyebrows – I just did a quick Google of Eribulin and you may get lucky on that one.

    You are a strong person, and you will get through this. And I also agree with you about the benefits of meditation. It is quite mindblowing how much it helps.

    xo

    Reply

  21. Julie Nichols
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 05:03:01

    Ellie,
    I found your blog through your article on the Daily Mail website. I have been reading about what you have been going through. You are in my thoughts daily, sweetheart. Having watched my father suffer through cancer and chemo, I know that terrifying roller coaster of good news, bad news. It leaves you and those who love you drained. Your writing is so honest and I feel as though I know you. I hope that this new drug will be the one that kicks cancer’s ass right out of your body!!!!! I think that you will look beautiful on your wedding day no matter what. Will keep you and Tom in my thoughts and wishing you all the best! You can do it! You are young and strong with a good man and what sounds like great family and friends. Good luck starting the new treatment!
    Love,
    Julie N
    Georgia, U.S.A.

    Reply

  22. Susie Kroon
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 05:45:29

    Dear Ellie,
    Hi! I pray for you everyday. I am praying for a miracle of healing for you. Our Lord Jesus is our Healer. The Lord has healed me several times. And if the Lord can heal me, He can heal you too. But please have faith, that the Lord can heal you. Some bible verses come to mind.
    Isaiah 53:5
    “But He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our inequities, the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed”.

    Exodus 15:26
    ” I am the Lord, who heals you.”

    If you send me your email address, I can share some of my testimonies with you. I have shared my testimonies, with my church congregation. Take care and God Bless!
    Susie

    Reply

  23. Toks (South Africa)
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 07:23:39

    Hi Ellie,

    I love, love, love your attitude, you are trully inspirational. The things that i’ve been going through are nothing compared to what you go through everyday, thank you so much for that reminder. I need to be grateful more. Good luck for tomorrow i hope the drug has all the Ninja gears so that it will kick, squeeze, cut of the bad cancer out of you & so that you can have the wedding of your dreams.

    Don’t stress to much about your hair,eyebrows & eyelashes, I know it’s easy to say that when I have mine but I know you’d still look beautiful even without them……….otherwise, you can just draw the eye brows and use artificial eyelashes for the day either way I know Tom loves you whether you have them or don’t.

    Keep fighting, i’ll be thinking of you

    Reply

  24. Becoming herself
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 08:14:13

    A wonderful, inspiring post, as always. You and your readers might be interested in this wonderful and inspirational woman’s latest post:

    http://caridwen.wordpress.com/2011/11/22/mere-mortality/

    Reply

  25. Caroline
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 08:35:59

    Your attitude is amazing. I find myself coming back to read your blog at various times during my week for no other reason than you inspire me. Keep your chin up, you have so many people praying for you and laughing with you along the way.

    Reply

  26. Anna
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 08:48:32

    Hi!

    Another eye-lash comment: When I was on chemo a couple of years back, I used to draw everything on with a pencil that matched my hair colour (of which I had only faint memories) and one of my close friends never even noticed the hairs were gone! Which is weird and maybe only proves she was very unobservant, but I like to believe that practice made me a true artist. Also, you can’t beat the smoothness of chemo-legs ;)

    Good luck today, I hope you don’t throw up too much.

    Love, Anna

    Reply

  27. Frances Pringle (@FrancesPringle)
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 09:13:46

    ‘And I make no excuses to anyone when I say I truly believe I can beat this cancer.’
    Ellie Jeffery.

    ‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?’
    Marianne Williamson.

    Reply

  28. Cassy
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 09:23:07

    The most beautiful and treasured picture that I have of my sister is when she had been through the harshest round of chemo and was left with no eyelashes, no eyebrows and no hair on her head. She was attending the wedding of a very dear friend, and at first didn’t think she should because of the way she looked. The hair on her head was just beginning to come through, about half an inch long, but still no brows nor lashes. She bought some fake eyelashes, but not the discrete ones, more the Drag Queen variety, very long, with sparkles and such. She didn’t want anyone thinking that she was trying to pretend they were real (!) And she drew on some very faint eyebrows, to give her face a “frame”. She looked gorgeous, very “Sharon Stone”. Her skin looked translucent but luminous. I keep that photo in my wallet. I will scan it and send it to you, if you need proof!!

    You are an incredibly beautiful woman, Ellie, with or without lashes and brows. My guess is that you would happily live without them forever if that “f-ing squatter” would just leave you and Tom in peace.
    Hang in there!

    Reply

  29. Kerry
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 09:26:22

    Ellie good luck for today! You have true inner beauty which will always shine through regardless of hair or eyebrows. Hope all goes well. Love, Kerry x

    Reply

  30. Caroline De Brun
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 09:26:56

    You will look beautiful on your wedding day because you are loved and because you are in love. I know it sounds cheesy, but I really believe it and I know it to be true. Your blog is amazing. Thank you for sharing what you are feeling. I am truly sorry you are battling this, but I love your spirit. You are an inspiration and so is your fiance. Good luck to you both. Keep on fighting and believing.

    Reply

  31. Christine
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 09:29:01

    You really are a brave girl and your right not to give in to it. You deserve to get better. I truly wish you do xx

    Reply

  32. Pam
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 09:49:39

    classic Miffy line! Good luck today Ellie xxxxxxx

    Reply

  33. Annie
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 10:00:24

    Positive thoughts.
    Good Plan.
    False Lashes are FAB!
    Love and paryers.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    Reply

  34. Tracie carter
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 10:03:48

    Keep going girl dont look back only keep going forward…..thank your body every spare moment you get for healing itself, keep having positive thoughts visualise visualise visualise every tiny detail of your perfect wedding day and the next 20 birthdays and christmases and anniversaries. Get a little note pad and write notes and goals on your first wedding anniversary, 2nd and so on and on. What the mind can believe the body can achieve. Dont feel guilty about drugs u were given the opportunity for a reason its yours go for it with every fibre in your body im years to come scientific studies will show the mind and body can beat and heal anything lance armstrong proved that more and more people r doing it. We havent got years to wait here, but you will beat this For you this is going to be easy as your already laughing calm and funny, thinking of you always keep going you can win this all you need to do is convince yourself your body is healing itself and is returning to full health x x c

    Reply

  35. Amanda Power
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 10:26:25

    You go girl!!!!

    Feel so proud to be able to call myself a survivor and be in the same league with someone as incredible as you. In fact you have shown me just what it is to be a survivor.

    Cancer has no respect for human dignity but with cancer comes wisdom, courage and grace – all of which you most certainly have – in abundance!

    Trust me, worse things happen in Africa – I am willing to try Milan though – anytime! ha ha!

    LOL Amanda Power
    Breast cancer advocate

    A fellow 38 yr old survivor and follower from South Africa! (my mom-in-law bought the UK paper out with her – she lives 1/2 the year in the UK – and so I saw and read your story.)

    Reply

  36. Steve
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 10:33:11

    Your courage is mind blowing. If anyone is going to beat it you are. I am full of admiration.
    Steve

    Reply

  37. Zoe Springbett
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 10:52:28

    Ellie, You are such a pretty girl. I know that eyelashes and eyebrows going are the worst bit, that’s what Jojo used to say, but seriously, you are stunning, you really, really are. I know you probably dont believe it or see it youself, but please try to. As for the “Buzz Cut Bride” business – there is a solution! One of my best friends Becca was going through chemo before her June wedding. She had very short, curly lamb hair and it was not the look she envisaged for her big day. So, she had real hair weaved into her ‘buzz cut’. “Weave” gives the impression that she had afro hair and corn rows, but it was amazing, really. She had a colour match to her own hair, a really rich mahoghany, and hair hair went from being lamby to lustrous! You really would not have known. On the day it was shoulder length and had up half down. I promise you, it didnt look like tacky “Jordan-esque” hair extensions as it was real hair. Becca really looked beautiful. She kept the extensions in until her hair grew to a length that she liked, then she had a lovely glossy bob.

    Come on Ellie, you’re kicking the hell out of, and beating cancer for goodness sake – dont let something as trivial as hair get you down. You’re winning the war with the ‘body squatters’, so you can definitely overcome the battle with the hair issues.

    xxxx

    Reply

  38. Cate
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 11:15:31

    Hi Ellie,

    Keep believing Ellie! You know yourself better than anyone else. You’ll get there through sheer determination alone. I’m hoping the signature-wielding bod has put pen to paper and you’re in there as I type. More power to you Lady! Don’t feel bad that it’s you who gets the drug. Who better than someone willing to take it on and fight? You can do your talky on tv stuff afterwards to shout about it. Anyway, there’s a heck of a lot of TOWIE repeats you’ll need to watch, so keep fighting! x

    Reply

  39. Ismena Clout (@issyclout)
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 11:19:53

    Ellie

    Losing hair sucks! Mine is still embryonic and the eye brows and lashes are being particularly stubborn at coming back. I was a bridesmaid at my best mates wedding in Sept and wore a blonde playboy bunny wig for the ceremony and then went all sinead o’connor for the reception. Great place for wigs is Vikki Ullah in Harrods (5th floor) you get a card with first purchase that allows you to have a free creme de la mer facial, make up lesson and other bits and bobs and wigs are normal price.

    Or I have 4 you can borrow!

    Good luck today.

    Issy
    x

    Reply

  40. laura
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 11:20:02

    And I make no excuses to anyone when I say I truly believe I can beat this cancer.’
    Ellie Jeffery.

    I and hundreds of others also believe you will beat this cancer. I pray that the treatment is managable but I also know you will come out of this the other side and that this will one day be a memory that you look back on in your old age full of pride at what you overcame.
    Take care
    x

    Reply

  41. Rachel M
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 11:38:31

    Ellie, you are a strong woman even when you don’t feel like it some times. You inspire me and i know that you will beat this cancer and yours will be a testimony to many. You wiill have a lovely husband and children too. Lots of love

    Reply

  42. Helen
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 11:59:02

    You are going to look utterly fantastic for your wedding, buzz cut or wig, lushes lashes or false, bushy eyebrows or pencil line (naaah!) Just keep that fighting spirit, we love you! xxx

    Reply

  43. Melanie Richardson
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 12:36:00

    Beautiful with or without eyelashes. You go girl xx

    Reply

  44. Susan Hodges
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 13:16:33

    Ellie, excellent news that you are going to be given the new drug. Your spirit is in fighting mode which is good to hear and although the uninvitied ‘squatters’ are around, they will never find a way into your soul. So you have already beaten cancer on that score! Keep it up girl, we are with you every step of the way.
    Much love, Susan

    Reply

  45. JO
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 13:34:31

    Hi Ellie, you are amazing – your attitude and vitality are humbling. Sending you lot of best wishes x

    Reply

  46. Alan Charnock
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 13:48:37

    The world has gone mad rejecting drugs all over the place because of cost, how can you truly put a cost on an extra day or month of life, get a grip NICE!
    Hopefully this new drug eribulin will start to kick ass and you beat this fricking disease.
    Who needs eyebrows when you have a smile like yours. x

    Reply

  47. Lisa Facey
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 13:51:58

    Hey Ellie and Tom
    A Plan. great. You know what they say??? Prior planning prevents piss pot performance (or as Gary Barlow says on x-factor, PREformance, I know not why he can’t speak properly)
    You seem in great sprirts and it’s great news that you’re getting the new drug and don’t worry about your hair, with a face like yours who needs hair, you’re beautiful.

    Reply

  48. kerry
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 14:19:35

    Remember Ellie, Your youth, obvious fitness and absolutely immovable, iron will are your best allies right now, and you have all three in large quantities. Don’t allow a chink in your amour, don’t waver in your strength of character and absolute conviction. You have all these qualities, they are there in every sentence you write, and every post you make, Yours is a very powerful strength of will, and its what will carry you forward. You have your own velocity, your own propulsion, your own impetus. You are driving the bus Ellie….don’t forget…..you are driving the bus…….

    My love to you, as ever.xxxxx

    Reply

  49. Mirjam
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 14:31:49

    I have so much respect for you how positive and full of determination you are, you truly are an inspiration. You will beat this!
    I’m not religious but I’m sending you warm hugs and lots and lots of positive vibes and thoughts.

    xx

    Reply

  50. Michelle (badger)
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 15:02:13

    Ellie you are such an inspiration, everytime I read your blogs I get a lump in my throat n teary eyes. I just remember u being such a young innocent girl who I lived next door too! I just want to give you a big cuddle to show u my support for u n ur family. Be strong n brave gorgeous girl.

    Think of u always lots of love Chelle xxx

    Reply

  51. caridwen
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 15:21:23

    I just stumbled across your blog. My, you are a phenomenon, truly. My diagnosis is nothing like yours, and I am completely inspired by your attitude. I don’t know if you have already seen or heard of it or not, but check out Kris Carr’s _Crazy Sexy Cancer_. I found it at the beginning of my journey and it made all the difference in the world in terms of how I have handled this. I think you will find it resonates with much of what you have expressed in the posts I have read so far on your blog.

    Reply

  52. Karen Rogerson
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 18:32:51

    Hi Ellie,
    use your Eribulin as a stepping stone… to get you better – forever.
    “Worse things happen in Milan”…. well there are a lot of us in Milan cheering, praying and thinking of you.
    Big hugs from Italy toan incredible girl.

    Reply

  53. Jennifer
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 21:35:41

    Hi Ellie
    Also read about this crowd recently – sounds a bit like EFT – might be a bit hocus pocusy but they run a clinic in London. http://www.plexusbio-energy.com/index.htm
    Hope your treatment went well today – excited that you got your fight back! x Jennifer

    Reply

  54. Ysabel Llerena
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 22:49:19

    Hi Ellie!

    I think of you.
    Keep your chin up.
    Keep the fight. You are stronger than that C….R.
    Think about another trip to the Greek Islands…maybe Santorini….nice wine, good food, nice music….and Tom holding your hand.
    Love,
    Ysabel

    Reply

  55. Chloe Greene
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 23:37:07

    Yes yes yes Ellie believe in miracles. I believe in miracles when I read your blog and I shout at the universe to make them happen.

    Reply

  56. Di Georgiou
    Nov 23, 2011 @ 11:06:23

    Hi there, pls, pls look into Dr Burzinski, he has and still is curing tumors in Texas USA,with on side effects! there are plenty of documentary’s on him, just look on youtube.
    xx

    Reply

  57. Caz
    Nov 23, 2011 @ 17:15:21

    Keep up the good work Ellie, ur doing great and you will beat this shit..ur a tough cookie..stay strong as u are,

    lots of love x

    Reply

  58. Cate
    Nov 23, 2011 @ 18:00:00

    Eleanor Roosevelt once said ‘ a woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water.’…….. So you go and show this terrible disease that you are a strong cuppa!

    Reply

  59. Elizabeth Sennett
    Nov 23, 2011 @ 22:34:39

    You are an incredible woman! Brave, feisty, intelligent, articulate and very beautiful. You will survive this! The world needs more people like you. x

    Reply

  60. Rachel A
    Nov 23, 2011 @ 22:52:28

    So good to read your blogg and hear you talk so positively. Don’t ever question your calm, positive attitude, it is truly amazing and inspirational. You have really highlighted to me through your positivity those people in life who moan about such insignificant things, we all do it at times but for some it’s a hobby! It is your positive attitude and obviously fab personality that i’m sure Tom fell in love with quickly and you deserve all the happiness in the world. You WILL be a gorgeous bride, no matter what (we will count down to our weddings together!) and you will have the most wonderful day. Lots of love.xx

    Reply

  61. Rachel
    Nov 23, 2011 @ 23:05:44

    Another brilliant post Ellie. We’re all behind you in this fight…..I only wish we could take on for you for a while to give you a break. God bless. Rxxx

    Reply

  62. Ysabel Llerena
    Nov 23, 2011 @ 23:18:41

    Ellie, I will come all the way form Vancouver Canada to your wedding with nice Peruvian paintings. No need to over spend on me : ) … I will bring my own champagne to celebrate : )
    You will be the most beautiful bride ever.!
    Who cares about eyelashes! no one notices that, fight the the one that invaded you and is not paying rent! Kick his derriere out fast.

    All my love to bravest beauty.

    Ysabel

    Reply

  63. Mary Burridge
    Nov 24, 2011 @ 04:37:58

    Ellie, if only you knew what an effect you are having on people all over the world including here in snowy western Canada. You are truly an inspiration, with a real gift of using the written word. Both you and Tom continue to be in my prayers. Stay strong,
    Love and blessings,
    Mary

    Reply

  64. Karen
    Nov 24, 2011 @ 06:45:02

    Hello Ellie, I’ve been following your blog for a couple of weeks now. I was sitting in a hospital waiting room when I first saw your article in a magazine. There I was feeling sorry for myself because I’d just been told that I would have to have a second op on my hand! Well talk about putting things into perspective and bringing me down to earth with a bang! You truly are an inspiration, I wish you well and I wish you and Tom time together to make happy memories.

    Reply

  65. Clare
    Nov 24, 2011 @ 10:46:16

    Hi Ellie – the best thing I had done was to get my eye brows tattooed on. Everyone comments on how good they look, even when I am not on chemo. Takes no more than an hour and doesn’t hurt.

    I also found out about a new hair system that I wished I had known about before spending the best part of £500 on a wig. The hair piece along with individual strands to give you a natural hair line are bonded to your scalp. You can wash your hair, swim, style it, put it in a ponytail. You really can’t tell and it just needs a maintenance session every 6-8 weeks. It is pricey at £850 but I will be giving it a go in January x

    Reply

    • Ellie Jeffery
      Nov 24, 2011 @ 11:36:06

      Hi Clare – thanks for the tip. I’m going to try and get the eyebrows done this week or next for sure. It will be a relief not to have to draw them on every day. I just hope when the brows come back they look ok. Let me know how the hair goes as if I don’t get it back for the wedding it’s something I’d consider. Hope you’re doing wellxxx

      Reply

  66. N
    Nov 24, 2011 @ 11:50:47

    Hi Ellie, have you booked a date for the wedding? You have such a pretty face hair or no hair I just know you will be a beautiful bride. I am getting married next week and on my wedding day I will be thinking of you and hoping your new chemo works so you can have a fab wedding and look to the future. Best Wishes. N x

    Reply

  67. Sharon
    Nov 25, 2011 @ 20:09:55

    Mind over matter………..

    Reply

  68. Ronnie King
    Nov 25, 2011 @ 21:41:53

    Dear Ellie -
    I suggest you take some Ormus White Powder Gold Manna as it DOES help the other treatments fight the cancer..! The UK producer is on http://www.exotic-elixirs.co.uk and if you say you have cancer you will get it sent to you free as most Ormus makers do that.
    Good luck and best wishes..! Ronnie

    Reply

  69. ladyleftfieldlover
    Nov 26, 2011 @ 10:51:01

    I hope all is going well, Ellie. You are in my thoughts a lot.

    Reply

  70. Rebecca Donovan
    Nov 26, 2011 @ 14:49:30

    Hi Ellie, I’m one of the 26,000 who found you through the daily mail article. I just know the Eribulin will do the bad-ass, evil, unmentionable shit you’re after… just like you know you can beat this! Will be doing my own visualisation of the cancer being blown to smithereens over the coming days on your behalf. I’m planning my wedding too by the way, and – though it’s easy for me to say – when it comes to visuals… it’s all about the dress, eyelashes or none! But my sis is a make-up artist, and says you could try Eyelure’s natural day falsies- they’re more natural than evening ones, and come in lighter colours (avail. in Boots). Thinking of you, Rebecca x

    Reply

  71. laura
    Nov 26, 2011 @ 17:04:51

    Keep giving that cancer shit ellie.

    You can do it, i know you can!!!! You are amazing and so so brave! Is it a definate that you might loose your hair lashes and brows?

    And with tom who sounds beautiful , and our wonderful matt and Miffy! ( Is that her real name? If so tell her if Opeie Had been a girl, (Matts 2nd cousin) he was going to be called Miffy!!! ) by your side you have a winning team!

    Reply

  72. Andie
    Nov 26, 2011 @ 19:28:31

    Ellie, you are incredible. You make me wake up and take stock of all the rubbish that I consider bad in my life, and realise that’s its a load of bollocks! What the fuck am I moaning about?! Your incredible gift for writing and your internal strength and determination to beat this bitch never ceases to amaze me. If someone were to ask me who in my life inspires me, my answer would be Ellie Jeffrey.

    Much love to you and your gorgeous Tom.
    xxxxx

    Reply

  73. Karen
    Nov 26, 2011 @ 20:00:12

    Thinking of you so much Ellie, and sending so many good vibes and good thoughts your way, lots of love xxx

    Reply

  74. Tony
    Nov 27, 2011 @ 01:30:27

    My name is Tony and I am currently receiving treatment for secondary cancer in my liver, pelvis and chest after primary in my bowel. My beautiful wife Fran handed me your article from the mail and after reading I am drawn to reading more – I hope you don’t mind and if I can assist you in your journey in anyway please let me know. My personal blog is:

    http://tonysonghurst.blogspot.com/

    In addition I spend a bit of time on cancer research’s chat room which has helped me enormously. Whilst it doesn’t look like you are short of friends etc to chat to this site helps if you want to discuss outside your usual circle. There is a forum on there which has grown to hundreds of entries and was originally started by one lady called Leonie wanting to know more about breast cancer. They have built a community as others log on their own thread and also log on Leonie’s…

    If you want to drop by please have a look on the following:

    http://cancerchat.cancerresearchuk.org/message/43160#43160

    I may catch up on their if you join and you can see me on there under the tag of tonysong

    Keep up the fight

    Much Love

    Tony xx

    Reply

  75. Sharon Rose
    Nov 27, 2011 @ 15:57:01

    Thank you for your blog. A friend shared it with me and told me how gripped he was by your story. He remembered my husband’s story – his happy ending. I believe his happy ending can be yours as well.

    It began with an emergency trip to ER due to a fast growing bladder cancer that had metastasized to the outside of the bladder, surrounding tissue, and ureters. The doctors were armed for bear and asked he entertained the strongest chemo cocktail party for 4 months. Fifty percent chance of surviving chemo, thirty percent chance of living a year. That was six years ago.

    But it tried to come back twice already and we dodged those bullets by using alchemy. Back during chemo I gave him 2 things, alchemy & lemon essential oil in capsules (for the flavoniods). He had blood tests weekly and during the weeks he didn’t have lemon oil his immune function diminished and when he didn’t have alchemy his kidney function was impaired. Together these two small things allowed him to live. And we kept doing them – on and off.

    Only seven months after the end of chemo the cancer was coming back, though no one but me knew it was back. I could feel this strange electrical sensation when I touched him, same as before he was diagnosed. We went back to the two things that helped before and the electrical sensation went away.

    Nine months after this it came back as a small spot on his lungs. He had 2 months to get rid of it before he would’ve been back on chemo. I prayed. Then a dear person (through Ronnie King) offered me a stronger version of alchemy that drew Bill back from the edge. That was four years ago.

    I never paid a thing for that wonderful substance. I don’t know how he can be as generous as he is, but Ronnie told him about you and he is ready to gift you as well if you do it NOW. You deserve his generosity.

    Contact Rodney at: rak@rking136.freeserve.co.uk
    Or you can contact me.

    While Bill took both chemo and Alchemy at the same time and lived to tell, I have to wonder if he could do that again. Don’t wait to get it. It assays as basic minerals and there is nothing scary about it. But the invisible quintessential energy that endows the cells with life-force is silently married to the minerals.

    With love,

    Sharon

    Reply

  76. Phyllis Elias
    Nov 28, 2011 @ 11:27:34

    Ellie, you have my prayers and thoughts constantly, and I am always so moved by your sheer bloody determination that you will win – because you will win! You have Tom and all of us strangers whom you have never met, fighting right there alongside you. Thank you for granting us the privilege of letting us try to join in your fight to beat the B*st*rd! Love, Phyllis

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 2,656 other followers

%d bloggers like this: